Complaint Dept.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Your Character Is Slipping
Kofi Annon admits he has guilt in the shitfest known as the Oil for Food program. Yah, thanks Kofi but we already were aware of your role. We’ve been talking about it for two years now. Thanks for playing, you lose.
Anyway, I had other things to talk about today about the hurricane and aftermath and idiotic statements made by rappers on t.v. and how Jesse Jackson is the biggest fucking racist in this country. You know what they say Jesse about those who repeatedly point the finger of accusation? They got three pointing back at them.
But I’m not going to do that today. Instead I’m going to send a public response to a little retard named cmw who wrote in regarding the previous post. In answer to the first question, cmw, reading comprehension is a great skill to acquire so I suggest maybe taking a course in English at your local community college to build it up. The “people” I was referring to are the elected leaders. The point was to illustrate that they are human beings and human beings do follow some of the basic patterns that anyone who takes one moment to observe human behavior will pick up. This country is both greedy and giving. It can be both. Maybe not in your black and white, boring, dull world, but in the real world, it can be so. The leaders of that city and state as well as the American public didn’t help these citizens of N.O. before the storm but they did help after the storm. See how that works? You also state that I obviously have no fucking clue what it’s like to be homeless and starving for days on end despite the fact that I’ve been homeless and starving, much longer than six days and have only written about it on this site several times but hey, why let facts get in the way of childish insults, right cmw?
Further, cmw, it’s touching that you think that anyone who cares about the welfare of the animals is immature. You see, most of us wonder about all the pets and how many may have drowned or got sick or dehydrated and died and how many still need help. It is possible to think about the humans and their pets at the same time. Maybe more than one thought process at a time is far too complex for you to grasp but I assure you, millions of us out here can indeed think of two things simultaneously. Shelters all over the place have been set up and many of these victims have been reunited with their pets, are extremely happy and greatful but you thinks it’s all bullshit. I wonder why people like you would actually admit that you don’t care about animals. (Yes, that’s right, other readers, cmw does not give one shit about animals.) You think it’s childish to care about other living creatures. I wonder how much you hate yourself. Obviously a lot. People who can’t find the compassion for all living creatures has serious issues within themselves. It has been proven time and again. So, thank you cmw, thanks for showing your ass. I’ll leave you with this photo taken of a rescuer saving a kitten from drowning. I suppose you would like to go up to that military individual and tell him he needs to grow up as well?
Now move along.
A quote found on a blog I read: “Disasters don’t determine character, they reveal it.”
(Thanks to Chaos Theory for finding it.)
Monday, November 01, 2004
Replying To Readers
Good Morning Kidlets....today I’ve reached into my “Bitter Asshole” Email bag and we have two new letters from a couple of my viewers. In the interest of time, I’m going to edit the letter and get right to the complaint. Here we go:
Letter #1:
"(No Salutation),
Why do you spell G-d like that? If you really had any faith in your religion you wouldn’t need to hide behind such phoniness.
Signed,
I Demand An Explanation"
Dear I Demand:
Oh My G-d! For the love of G-d, I had no idea that me spelling out G-d like G-d would make you so G-d damned crazy! What in G-d’s name will I ever do? Dear G-d, I can’t have readers upset with me! I mean, my G-d, even though I’ve already explained this in my G-d damned Archives, I guess you could not find the time to peruse them. G-d knows why you didn’t have the time but I guess that’s between you and G-d. G-d, do I really have to explain this again? You know what, G-d damnit? I’m not going to explain it again. G-d knows I don’t have time to hold your hand through this. Good G-d, get a life. I write a brilliant post and the only thing you can hone in on is that I spell G-d like G-d. My G-d, there’s a big world out there for you to explore. G-d knows it will do you some good to step away from the G-d damned computer and go embrace it so that you don’t find yourself writing such G-d damn ridiculous emails to someone about how they spell G-d. G-d Almighty I really hope this helps.
We appreciate your readership,
Serenity
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Letter #2:
"Dear Serenity,
You cuss way too much. I don’t like it and it’s not ladylike.
Signed,
Wally---the Beav’s brother"
Dear Wally:
Holy shit! No fucking way? I cuss too damn much? You can’t be fucking serious. Son of a bitch, what will I do? Jeezus H. Krist on a fucking pogo stick! So I guess whenever the fuck I feel the need to vent I should consult my “Leave It To Beaver” dictionary? Instead of, “That mother fucking cocksucking asshole hit my car!”, the Beav says I should say, “Golly gee, my car got wrecked. Well, good thing this will all be over in a half an hour and we’ll all forget about it on tomorrow’s show. Let’s go see what mom baked for us today.” Yah, if I wanted to sound like a Ritalin doped up prick I’d write like that. Look bitch, I’ll say the same thing to you that I’ve said to the other fucking whiners who have come here pissing and moaning and suffering some sort of crotch rot, you do not have to come here. What a fucking amazing solution to your troubles! If you see something here, like, say I typed out ‘cunt’, and it offends you, you are free, that’s right, in this free country, you are free to leave! Hot damn I love this place! In fact, I extend that invitation to all the dickweeds out there. And remember, I beg of thee, please DO let the door hit you square in the ass on your way out. I’m glad we had this little talk. I feel better already. I sure as fuck hope you do as well.
We appreciate your readership,
Serenity
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Thus ends “Bitter Asshole” Email for today. Remember kids, it does not pay to give a G-d damned flying fucknut what complete strangers think. In our next episode, we’ll be responding to the jackasses who like to write, “Wah” in comments as that fantastic insight, wisdom and sheer poetry simply must be addressed.
Till next time Kidlets (just for you Lune), stay safe, work hard and tell your neighbor to suck on a raw one if they don’t like how you conduct your life.
Thursday, November 13, 2003
Tutorial
It has come to my attention that not everyone knows how to back out of a website they have stumbled across and wish to leave.
I am horrified, horrified, that I assumed this was common knowledge for those who surf the net. However, because it is not, as a concerned citizen, I will provide you with basic, step by step instructions so that you may exit the offending website immediately and not subject yourself to anymore angst, anger, apprehension, tears, bitterness, misery, offense, wretchedness, soiling of your diapers, late nights, lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling composing a comment you wish to leave to really show them! or whatever else your problem may be.
Step 1: Place hand over mouse.
Step 2: While steering your cursor with your mouse, proceed to your tool bar at the top of your browser. (For those who are just starting out, that would be the top of your screen, not top of your monitor, that’s where all your stuffed animals or pics of your spawn or whatever crap you decide to place there, goes...no, I said, “top of the screen”....just like a t.v.)
Step 3: Here’s where it gets tricky but if you persevere, you can make it through this final step.
You may either:
a) Go to the top left side of your screen.
OR
b) Go to the top right side of your screen.
Either choice works perfectly well, neither one is harder than the other so this is entirely up to you...as scary as it may be to make a choice for yourself, I have faith in you...you can do it.
If you chose a), then you would look for the word, “Back” and place your cursor, (that little arrow thingie that helps you navigate), over this word and click on the left button on your mouse.
If you chose b), then you would look for a small red square with an ‘x’ through it. (If it happens to be a different color, don’t worry, as long as the little square has an ‘x’ in it, this is the correct area of the screen.) Once again, place your cursor over this square and click on the left button of your mouse.
And that’s it! I know these instructions may appear overwhelming but I promise you, they are very simple and once you have done it, you will have mastered this process.
Are there any questions? Are we all on the same page now? Do you all understand that if you do not like what I write here, you may leave following the above instructions?
Might I also add, I appreciate my readers. I appreciate debate. What I don’t appreciate is someone telling me I need to write or be a certain way.
Did I find myself trying to entertain everyone here? Yes. You bet I did. I also discovered it wasn’t fun to come on here and put something out everyday. I only worried about what you all might find interesting instead of just writing whatever the hell I wanted to write, which was the original reason I got this damn thing. I spent a good amount of time asking myself why the hell I thought I needed to do such a thing because it doesn’t matter WHAT you write about, SOMEONE is going to get huffy. You can write about the ingredients from the back of a cereal box and someone WILL piss and whine in the comments section.
I spoke...well, emailed, a friend of mine who’s opinion I value very highly and asked for his advice and he said, “Be true to yourself”, in a nutshell. So, I am doing just that. If I was paid to do this, I might go out of my way to ensure that my writing is up to everyone’s double standards but I am not. This is my own personal space on the web, paid for from my very own pocket and I will do as I please with it. If people come by because they like it...that’s pretty cool.
But I no longer care about links or high traffic or appeasing the masses. So, for those of you who keep coming here and working yourself up into a frenzy because, “Damnit! That little girl isn’t behaving like a girl! How DARE she! She cusses? She has an opinion? She fights back? That’s intolerable!” (guess what? Sometimes I burp too!), let me spare you some future trauma:
That is a part of who I am and I am LONG past apologizing for who I am because someone got their panties in a bundle and thought I should be less this or more that. I simply do not give a damn if you like me or not. That doesn’t make me anti-social, it means I am not going to change just because someone decides I don’t fit his/her idea of who they think I should be. Might I also add that you don’t know me. You see words on a screen but you do not know me so don’t assume that just because I come here to rant and get that out of my system means anything other than what it is. Since a few seem to lack reading comprehension skills, THAT means, it is ONLY ranting and getting it out of my system.
In conclusion, if you don’t like the way I write, then click yourself right out of here. (For those with selective or short memories, see above for instructions.)
If you want to make a judgement about me because of some ranting you see here, knock yourself out. You are not worthy of my time.
If you think I give a shit about your opinions when you tell me I should change, think twice.
If you insist on talking smack about me, at least have the cajones to say it right here, on this site, preferably within the comments section of the post that pissed you off so badly. Talking shit, “behind my back”, is a cowardly thing to do. If you can’t bring yourself to say it in comments, feel free to email me but don’t act like a fucking wuss and hide out on your site.
For the rest of you, thank you for stopping by.
