Animals/Pets
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Filling Up Space
I have to write something in between ads, per the rules and everything, but I seem to have more ads to write than any thing about my life, self or perspective. So I sat there, looking at something for about 5 minutes wondering what to write about when I realized, I’ve never written about that to which I was staring.
I’ll bet you didn’t know I have an aquarium. Yep. I have cats and dogs and it’s easy to talk about cats and dogs to just about anyone but unless you are really in to aquariums, no one seems to be interested. But, I have to fill some space so today, I am going to talk about my aquarium.
Isn’t this exciting!?
To start, it’s a 40 gallon tank, what some may call a “breeder” tank meaning it’s not tall and it’s not what they call, “long”. Anyway, it is ever changing as I’m always thinking of new ways to design it. Right now I have gravel, black gravel, but have some sand I’ve had and never opened and am thinking I’m going to change it over to sand.
That ought to be loads of fun. And I hope I don’t kill any fish in the process. And I wish I would have started out with sand in the first place. We’ll see what happens. I’m thinking I’m going to do that when the Christmas weekend gets here because I’ll finally have time off to be able to do it and monitor and not have to rush off to yet another job. For four days, I get to sit on my butt, at home, and do whatever I damn well please.
Actually, I have some plans for Christmas but you don’t get to hear about them yet.
So, I have live plants, I know some of the names of those plants. I don’t get hung up on names, never have. Even back when I was really in to music, I knew the name of the bands, of course, but didn’t give a crap about the name of the band members. Everyone around me was all, “Oh that’s Jello Biafra” or, “That’s Morrissey”. Yah, who cares. I don’t give a crap what their names are, I just like the music. Same with clothes. Don’t care about the name. Do I like the way it looks? Ok, then I’m getting it, who gives a shit who designed it.
Same with my plants. I like the way they look, I try them out, I see if they do well, I keep them if they do. I don’t give a crap about names. I have a couple of them that are thriving to the point that I’m thinking I may have to sell off the cuttings. I don’t remember what they are called, (I’d have to look it up), but I love the look and they grow well so I can take cuttings and plant those and basically have a nicely planted tank for the price of a few plants.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with live plants. I don’t do the CO2 b.s. I don’t fertilize. I just stick the plants in and hope for the best and thus far, the best is happening. So anyway, I have about 20 plants...some of those are the cuttings of the one I mentioned earlier. Some of those are sword something plants...grassy type stuff that is supposed to spread and cover the bottom...excuse me, official lingo: substrate, (eye roll), of the tank. Not sure how those are doing because they don’t seem to be spreading. Hence, why I think the sand might do some good.
So, black gravel, 20 plants and I also have driftwood, (dark), a medium sized rock looking decoration, a castle, (it’s not complete without a castle), and what I call my Lord Of The Rings Rock. It’s a pretty tall decoration and it always reminds me of LOTR...that scene where...Gandalf...wait, wrong movie...whatever, see? I don’t do names. Anyway, the good wizard, is up on that tall, dark rock mountain fighting with the eyeball guy. Mordor comes to mind. Anyway, it reminds me of that rock mountain.
I also have, not in tank but soon will be in tank, a rock formation that will “elevate” some of the sand so it looks like I have different levels. I anticipate this to look really cool and it’s high time I put it to use. And then I have another rock formation that I have not used yet, either that I think I’ll add after doing the sand.
Ultimately, I wanted to start aquascaping and make it look all artsy and cool so my fish feel like they are not in a tank but out in the wild.
Speaking of fish...I have:
Six panda platys
And those panda platys had babies, (scuse me, official lingo: fry, (eye roll)), and I did catch four of them and put them in the breeder net for a week but have let them go out in the tank and we’ll let nature take its course. It sounds mean but wtf am I going to do with a whole bunch of panda platys in the tank? If some survive, I’ll have to find a way to sell them.
I have four glo-fish Danios. Need to get two more.
I have four flying foxes.
I have one bristlenose pleco. (So he won’t get too big.)
I want to get four panda corys.
And corys like sand so another reason to finally use my sand.
In the past I’ve had a betta, in the huge tank and he was awesome and was going to do well but when I moved here, I couldn’t get rid of my cloudy water and panicked and put too many chemicals in and killed my betta. That sucked.
I finally said, “screw chemicals” and got a UV light and now the tank is crystal clear.
I would show you a photo but I’m going to be changing things up and I want the plants to really take off with the sand substrate and then see what happens. Plus, eventually get my other fish and have everything settle down and have been cool for a few months and THEN I will take a pic. By that time, most of you will have forgotten I ever mentioned having an aquarium so I won’t ever have to actually share the pic. Isn’t that neat how that works?
Ok, on to the money makers.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
We Have Touchdown!
At about 11pm I decided to look out the window yet again, (about the 30th time this evening), and what did I see?
Snow!
Beautiful snow!
It had just started but I was excited. I get to show the hoodlums snow! I grabbed my shoes, grabbed my camera and told the hoodlums, “C’mon! Snow!”
They don’t yet know this foreign word but they could tell something big was going down so they were up for it. They practically slid down the stairs in the excitement they caught from me. We bolted to the door, I flung it open, flipped the back yard light switch on and slammed open the screen door.
They bolted and then eeeeeerrrrrrrrcccccccchhhhh!
“WHA????”
They were confused.
They looked at the ground, they looked at the sky. They looked back down to the ground and then gawked up in to the sky. They did not understand! I closed the screen door on them while I got my camera ready and they wanted to come back in, too.
No, little dogs, you are going to enjoy your first snow.
Went back out with them and started snapping photos. They were far too interested in the ground and sky to bother posing for me but I did get a couple of shots with them looking at the camera. These were all done in a big, fat hurry so their eyes are reflecting but I wanted to capture their first moments in the snow. I didn’t get to capture the ground/sky/ground/sky confusion but wanted everything else.
Here are photos for tonight and when day comes, I’m going to take them back out, there should be more snow by then as well, and let them out in to the big backyard to run and explore. We’ll see how they do in the snow. Forecast says we are to get anywhere from 6-12”. See how their feet do in this. I got them boots just in case because they are Miami dogs, they have never seen snow. I think they like the cold because they are far more active the more cold it gets but I’ve heard from locals that some dogs paws need to be protected either with wax or boots. For me, boots are easier so they got them. They aren’t extravagant but they’ll keep warm and dry, which is the point.
Anyway, for now, here’s the hoodlums in their very first snow, October 29, 2011 at about 11:10pm:
I should sleep but I’m too wound up to sleep. Tomorrow should be really cool with decent amount of snow covering and the hoodlums playing in it like idiots. So much better than hot, stifling, humid, mosquito laden, gator infested South Florida.
Update When daylight came, I took the hoodlums out again to play. They got to play outside extra long today because they were loving the snow and I didn’t have any internet or tv for awhile. Our power went out at some point in the night but it didn’t affect me since I was sleeping. But the internet and tv...that was a bother. Finally got that back on around 1pm. Right when I had got all set up to do something else. Naturally.
Anyway, here’s what it looked like, untouched:
And, here’s the hoodlums today:
They had a blast. I threw snowballs at them. I threw snowballs for them and it was hilarious to watch them try to find those in all the snow. They chased each other around for a long time. They are much more active the colder it is so moving out of Miami was definitely a good move, (for many, many other reasons as well), and I didn’t see them shiver at all. I did get them boots and after about 30 minutes or so of them running around, I put the boots on them just to see how they would walk in them. I have tested them in the house but not the snow. They did pretty good but they are more for when we are walking, not when they are tearing around the yard like morons. The boots fell off after awhile of them sprinting and jumping and flinging themselves everywhere. I bought them for when we go on hikes. In the national parks here, (the ones that allow them), they have to be on leash and can’t be running around so the boots should benefit them at those times. But for the backyard, I’ll just bring them in when they get cold. IF they get cold.
Friday, October 14, 2011
I Heart My Dogs Because...
On a forum I frequent, someone asked, in the pets section, for all of us to answer why we love our dogs. Here is mine:
Because…
She cracks me up with her mischievous ways, her intelligence and her sense of humor. Yes, she has quite the sense of humor. I can tell when she’s laughing because she will bow her head down and then quickly back up and come flying over to me. And she’s quick. So quick to pick up a new trick or command. I can teach her almost anything and in a matter of seconds, she knows what I’m asking her to do. She makes me look like a genius dog trainer.
He is so loyal. So dang loyal. When I first got him, (they were found), and I was raising them and he chewed everything in sight, (my couch, the couch pillows, my bed, the bedding, the cupboards in the kitchen, the carpet, his dog beds, my shoes, more shoes, my socks, my chair legs, his leash, her leash, the a/c adapter for my laptop, my remote control, my computer mouse, books, some money.....), I got a little upset and yelled at him pretty badly. (I know...very wrong thing to do...yah, I lost it...stupid.) Despite that, even though I carry the guilt around to this day, he is still loyal and lets the past stay in the past, doesn’t hold a grudge, doesn’t keep points, doesn’t dwell on it.
She is so happy to see me when I come home. Despite over a year of training, several different methods, not to jump on me, she’s too excited and it’s the only thing she does wrong so forget it, let her jump. And she jumps and wants to be as close as doggily possible to me, she’s just so dang excited about it all.
He is so eager to please. He thrives and lives to please. He’s not the brightest dog I’ve ever had, it takes him forever to learn anything, if at all, (a whole year and he still doesn’t get “shake"), but damn if that dog doesn’t try as hard as he can to do exactly what I’m asking. Even if he doesn’t get it, you can see him trying so very hard to please and gets a look on his face that says, “Ha! How about that! You like that? Did I do it right!?”
She’s a little instigator. She hardly ever barks but when they are outside, she begs him to chase her. And if she thinks he’s not chasing her enough, she’ll get in to a play posture and bark at him. And then it’s like watching Pepe LaPue and the cat. She’s Pepe and he’s the cat. She prances around the yard while he goes full out, trying to catch her. Prance, prance, prance vs giving it all I got, full steam ahead, run, run, run, run, run....he eventually collapses to the ground, exhausted. Her? Laughing at him, bark, let’s go! I think of this cartoon every single time they play outside.
He is just so dang happy to be alive. Every single thing is an adventure to him. “zOMG! We’re going in to the next room! Road Trip! Hurray!!!!”
She is little. She’s 24 pounds. She’s so little to me. I can still pick her up and carry her around and she loves it. She still looks like a puppy. She is adorable.
He is medium, perfect size, 46 pounds. He is the type of dog that will do anything and is about the right size to do anything. I can pick him up but I don’t carry him around. And he can look and act very intimidating if the need arises.
They are brother and sister. They were thrown out of a car in to traffic in Miami in August of 2010 when they were 3 1/2 months old. I saved them. They don’t remember, but I do. And I look at them and wonder how on earth could someone be so disgusting and heartless as to do that to little puppies. (There was another, it got hit and killed before I found these two.) They still have some fears of fast moving cars as we walk down sidewalks but other than that, the past remains in the past, as I said earlier.
But I look at them, in to their deep, dark brown eyes, look at their gorgeous black fur, look at their little feet, look at their little heads, look at their little dog smiles and I am overcome with love for them. I’m so glad that they don’t remember but I will never forget. I would love them anyway but knowing how they were tossed out like garbage, abandoned without a care if they survived or not, makes me love them that much more.
Damn, now I gotta go hug those two miscreants.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Why I Do It
I know some of you out there think I’m weird for feeding my pets a raw diet. I have had co-workers in the past lambast me for doing it, saying I’m going to “kill” my dogs and they are going to get diseases and worms and choke on chicken bones. I know people can’t believe that the pet food industry would lie to them. I didn’t think they would, either. I actually, stupidly, trusted the pet food industry.
But then I did a lot of research. Not just on the pet food industry but also about dogs and cats. No one argues that cats are carnivores so why the hell would I feed them grains and veggies? They are carnivores, feed them meat. There is debate about whether or not dogs are carnivores or omnivores but if you look at their skulls, you can see, clearly, they are carnivores. They are classified as carnivores. So why would I feed them grains and veggies as a staple to their diet? Sure, they can munch on a carrot or banana for a treat but as a main staple? No, they are carnivores. I did as much research as I could about what foods do for their health or do bad for their health. I studied what actually goes in to pet foods. There’s a lot going in to pet foods that maybe some of you didn’t know. I’m sure people can guess that road kill is included. I’m sure they can guess that some garbage may be included. I’m sure they can guess that cattle not fit for human consumption may be included. I wonder how many know that plastic tags, maggots and animals diseased and filled with drugs in their system are used.
I wonder how many people know that euthanized dogs and cats are used.
Yes. Your pets. The ones you take to the vet or shelter to be euthanized when they are too sick or too old...what do you think they do with those bodies if you don’t ask for cremation? (Cremation is a whole other topic, by the way.) Do you think they just throw them away in to a landfill?
Think again.
This video is not easy to watch if you have any kind of heart whatsoever and especially if you’ve ever had a pet dog or cat. I warn you now, it’s not pretty. You decide if you’re going to watch this and don’t get upset with me if you do, I warned you. But no matter how hard it IS to watch, I think everyone who has a pet, SHOULD watch it. Sometimes information and reality is not easy to handle. But you should know, anyway.
The next time you fill up your pet’s bowl with food, I want you to remember this video. This is not what the commercials lead you to believe, now is it? They show happy dogs, running through fields. They show fresh chunks of beef, all bright and delicious looking, fish, veggies, everything so clean and sterile and healthy. Right? RIGHT?? That’s not the reality. What goes in to your pets’ food is anything but clean, healthy and sterile.
The next time someone wants to tell me that what I’m feeding my dogs or cats is unhealthy, I want them to watch this video. Tell me how this is better than a fresh whole chicken or turkey or pork ribs from the store. How is a dead dog and cat, garbage, road kill and maggots better than what I get at the store?
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Face Palm
There are some weird, fucking strange people in this world. I go to a forum about dogs and I just read someone talking about how her dog wet her panties. That is, the dog wet the panties it was wearing.
WTF?!
Dog panties?! Why does a dog need to wear panties and why is anyone a) admitting that their dog wears panties and b) telling the world that their dog wet their panties like it’s a child?
So, I had to look this up on the internets. There’s fricken dog panties for sale everywhere! With bows! And lace! And designs and Buzz Lightyear!
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Do people realize that dogs are DOGS and not humans? This seriously hurts my brain.
These are the same people who get on my ass because I used a prong collar when training the boy dog to heel, damnit, fricken HEEL! They said I was “stabbing” my dog. They said I was “abusing” and “being cruel” to my dog. The fuck I was. If the tool is used correctly, it is not mean and cruel. It tells the dog, “Hey, I said, ‘heel’ mother fucker, and I mean it.” I had to use it a total of 3-4 times. Now? I can walk my dog without a fricken leash or any collar at all.
Meanwhile, their dogs are counter surfing, disobeying them, running off and not coming back when called, bribed to do things for the owner, (clicker and treats), and wearing soiled panties.
But I’M the idiot.
Yah.
Ok.
Fucking tools.
Oh and yes, I know they can go in to heat, the answer is, spay your fucking dog, not put panties on it. >smack!<
Monday, April 18, 2011
Well...I Guess I'll Ask
A regular here has, a few times, mentioned another way to help with this project I’m doing and I wasn’t going to take him up on that offer or ask anyone else to follow.
However, marketing....it’s a bit expensive. I’m writing letters and networking as much as possible but I’m realizing that for anything to be a success, you must spend money. I really, truly do want this to be a success and it’s costing a little bit more than I thought.
I thought I’d just build it and that was it but there is more to marketing than sitting around waiting for someone to show up.
So, I’ll ask.
If you want to help, I really need some donations to get running. It’s there, it’s ready, it’s waiting and people are slowly trickling in but I need to do some serious marketing work. If you can and want to help with that, I’d greatly appreciate it.
I can do PayPal. My PayPal email is serenity5a@yahoo.com
I’m looking at about $700 needed at this point. I hate asking for money but this is different. This isn’t just for me. This is for something bigger than me. I may be involved because I’m creating it but it ultimately helps animals and the rescues.
If you don’t, please, spread the word, far and wide, tell your friends, neighbors, hairdresser, mechanic, teacher, church members, anyone and everyone you can think of. And if you know any rescues, tell them, too.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Some People Know Nothing About Dogs
So, I was taking the dogs out tonight for their final business transactions and took them on a short walk after. One of my neighbors had a bonfire going across the street from his place and there were a couple of guys hanging out there.
Shasta, my boy hoodlum, doesn’t like a lot of guys. Again, his history is that he and his sister, (girl hoodlum), were found in traffic, tossed like garbage, at three months old. There’s no telling what happened to them before they were found but something did because Shasta has a problem with most guys.
So I’ve been trying to get him used to guys, to learn that guys don’t have to be bad and that he won’t be harmed by them in the future. And most of the guys have been co-operating with this. Shasta will bark at them if they are walking down the street in my direction, even if they are just going to their own home, Shasta barks and growls at them. I will bring Shasta over to meet the person, or re-meet the person and I tell them to just let Shasta come to them. If they want to put their hand out, that’s fine but let Shasta come to them, don’t tower over him and try to approach him. Because when they do that, Shasta backs up, growls and gets his hackles up so I’m trying to do this the slow, patient way. Just let him start being around guys, eventually, he’ll realize, no harm is coming and he’ll start to trust a bit more.
I have one guy that I can give the leash to Shasta to him and he will take Shasta on short walks. Very short walks but it’s a way to get Shasta to get over this fear of males.
Now, I must say, he is not this way with all males. There’s a few males that he has no problem with at all. These are typically younger males, males who also have dogs or males who he feels pose no threat.
So, tonight, I walk by this bonfire and one neighbor, who is respecting my requests that the hoodlums sit before they get petted, is trying to pet them. Sakari of course loves the world so it’s not a problem with her friendly nature. Getting her to sit takes a few tries but she does and gets rewarded by these neighbors.
And Shasta usually does well with this one neighbor but I guess maybe it had something to do with alcohol consumption because Shasta was not in to this neighbor tonight. He woofed at him slightly, very slightly growled, and backed away. And that was the end of it. Shasta left the guy alone, did not even attempt to go near him. Fine. He’s still here, around guys, he’s still getting used to it all.
So we talked a little bit, these four guys at the bonfire and the one neighbor who Shasta doesn’t normally have a problem with kept trying to get Shasta to come over to him. I told him that maybe Shasta doesn’t like the alcohol, I’m sure he can smell it, it’s something foreign to him, (I rarely drink), and he doesn’t like it so he doesn’t want to come over and say, ‘hi’.
So this neighbor decides to get all offended. For real? You’re offended because a dog doesn’t like the fact that you’re drunk right now? Really?! Moron. He proceeded to state that the dog needed to sit and stop acting all “cocky” in front of his place that he “runs this place” and the dog is going to listen to him.
Ok, now you’re gonna tick me off. Don’t you dare threaten my dog.
I said, “You run this place? You RUN this place? Really?” He said, “Well, ok, I mean, this is in front of my house, I mean this area is mine.” (No, actually, it isn’t. It’s public property but whatever.) I told him to settle down, that the alcohol smell is probably bothering him and frankly, don’t worry about it, Shasta isn’t doing anything but sniffing around on the ground. If he doesn’t want to come sit and be petted, who cares.
This idiot proceeds that if Shasta doesn’t want to mind him in front of his place, that he would let Shasta know who was boss.
Oh really? You think so asshole!! Try it.
He said if Shasta didn’t mind him he was going to snatch my dog by the neck and pin him down until Shasta knew who was boss around here.
That’s when my blood started to boil. I could feel the rage boiling.
I told him that he would not be touching my dog, he would not be treating my dog like this, we would have serious and I mean serious issues if he thought he could treat my dog like that and he interrupted me saying, “Then don’t bring him around here.”
First of all, prick, where you are is public. Second, prick, we were on a walk and stopped to say hi. Third, PRICK, you are not the only person here and FOURTH, PRICK!!!!, you do not run this place. Touch my dog like that and it will be the sorriest you have ever been in your life.
He said that he knows how to handle dogs, he’s had dogs and he knows how to train them. You have to show them who is the boss and if he has to beat the dog, then that’s what it takes.
Now I’m ready to explode. And frankly, get violent. I’m not a violent person but when you talk about touching my dog like that? I’m gonna get violent.
I told him that if a dog is afraid of something, you have to work on that, the last thing you do is bring him more fear. He told me I was wrong, you have to “physically” let them know who is in charge and here, at this place, HE was in charge, not my dog.
I told him that maybe it isn’t that Shasta is afraid of guys after all. Maybe it’s that he knows a POS when he sees one. I said, “Maybe the reason that Shasta is growling and barking at you is because your attitude sucks and he can sense that. Maybe he just happens to be a good judge of character and it has nothing to do with gender.”
With that I turned and walked away.
But I am livid. Don’t you DARE threaten my dog just because my dog didn’t cow tow to you the second you wanted him to. This is MY dog, NOT YOURS! You will NOT harm him in any way. If he ever touches my dog like that or looks like he’s about to do that, I’m going to beat his sorry fucking ass. I don’t care if he’s a guy, you piss me off enough, and that will piss me off enough, I will beat your fucking ass until you are crumpled pile of bones and teeth on the ground.
I hate these fucking people. I cannot WAIT to reach my goal.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
How To Properly Bathe A Cat
Bathing a cat is a little difficult but it can be done. Here’s what you do…
You will need:
Cat
Bathtub
Appropriate shampoo for the cat
Towel
heavy gloves, preferably the type worn by bird of prey trainers
A bottle of wine
A newspaper
Kleenex
Cell phone
A second bottle of wine
Tickets to a show
The first thing you should do is go to your bathtub and fill it with about 1/4” to 1/2” of warm water. Locate the shampoo bottle and open it. Position yourself at the tub and ensure that the bottle of shampoo, the bottle of wine, phone, Kleenex and the towel are within easy reach of your tub position.
Test again.
Test a third time.
You are now ready for the cat. Put the gloves on now. These gloves will scare the cat but it’s better to have them on now, not later.
Locate cat. Coo at cat. Bribe cat. Watch as cat runs and hides under bed. Cat is not stupid.
Find better treats and act nonchalant. Act like you do not care one whit if the cat ever comes up to you again, ever. Sit on the floor, near your bathroom but not in it, and open a newspaper in front of you. (You are still wearing the gloves. Do NOT take the gloves off! Important!) Pretend to read engrossing story.
Cat cannot resist newspaper spread on floor. Must plant butt in center of newspaper. Allow cat to do so.
Grab cat. Run to the bathroom and put cat in water in bathtub.
Listen to cat scream.
Steel yourself. Do NOT let the cat convince you that it’s dying. It is not dying.
Wet cat thoroughly. Wish that you had thought to get earplugs. Wonder what the neighbors are thinking. Fight with cat. Suffer first wound.
Push cat to floor of tub with one hand and grab open, (see), shampoo bottle with second hand. Pour a bit of the contents on back of cat. Admire the decibels that the cat can reach with its voice. You didn’t know it was possible.
Continue to worry about neighbors calling cops.
While holding cat with one hand, scrub shampoo in to cat with other hand.
Suffer second wound. Think to yourself that the gloves are useless but you are not thinking rationally right now, they are saving you.
Continue to scrub cat and listen to it howl, growl and scream at the top of its lungs.
Try to reason with cat. Discuss with cat how this is for its own good.
Suffer third wound. Cat does not believe you.
Wish that neighbors would call the cops because you are now bleeding profusely.
While you are looking at your third wound, cat squirms and gets away. Cat tears around the house flinging water and shampoo all over everything.
Start to cry.
Grab Kleenex and use.
Open bottle of wine. Take a drink.
Take another drink.
Take a third drink.
Search for cat. Follow the water/shampoo trail. Go from bathroom, to kitchen, to walls, to curtains, to ceiling, (how?), to bedroom, to laundry room, back to kitchen, under the table, on the couch, along the front window, back to bedroom, inside closet.
You have located the cat. It is cowering, in the dark, back corner of your closet. Hissing. This is going to be painful.
Gather your resolve and capture cat.
Run back to bathroom with pissed off cat.
Suffer fourth wound.
Get cat in tub by any means necessary and roll it around in the water. You were going to do it nicely, you were going to scoop water up with your hand and gently, with soft caresses even, rinse the shampoo off the cat but that is not going to happen. There is only one way to rinse the cat and it’s fast and furious.
Watch in awe as cat shoots out of the bathroom.
Suffer fifth wound in process.
Cry some more. Use more Kleenex. Find bottle of wine. Finish it off.
Locate cat.
Bring cat back to tub, with more determination, a stronger hand and finish rinsing cat. Go to grab towel.
Cat uses you as an escape route and slices you open along the arms, torso and scalp. Towel is not for cat, towel is for you, to soak up the blood.
Grab phone, you’re about to pass out from blood loss. Call 911 and request an ambulance immediately.
Grab second bottle of wine and start chugging. Wait for ambulance.
Go to hospital and get stitched up, get antibiotics, get laughed at. Be released.
Come home. Rest for a few days.
On your day off, take tickets to show and go out. You have definitely earned it.
Monday, March 14, 2011
An Idea Is Brewing
Kids...I’ve got the most brilliant idea. But I need your help.
If you know any one who works for a pet rescue, or you do, contact me. You can leave a comment and I can get your email through my publishing tool and email you about it.
If you know of a pet rescue that might want to get a little assistance, contact me.
If you love animals and want to do something to help...contact me.
If you know someone who has a dog or cat who just had puppies or kittens and needs to find homes for them, contact me. It doesn’t matter where you are from, you do not have to be in the same city as me.
I don’t know why on earth I didn’t think of this before.
Oh, and to be very clear here, it doesn’t cost anyone but me a single cent.
Update Alright, after much teeth gnashing and hatin’ on some people, (you’ll understand why in the near future), I have the first three steps of the process taken care of. I have another major couple of steps but I also have had some contact with some rescues and things are looking pretty good. I need more, always more and I need you guys. I really need you guys and I need your friends and family and associates and anyone you know who loves animals.
You’ll soon see why.
In comments, Larry mentioned a tip jar. I don’t have one but this is costing more than I thought, (it’s fine, you’ll find out why, soon), what I would like to say to that is, let me get these steps done, let me get things finalized and then, I’ll tell you all about it. Then, and only then, if you want to do that, you will be welcome to because I am hoping you will see that this is something very good. I hope you’ll see that.
I’m excited to get this thing going but I cannot do it without you guys. Keep ‘em coming and most importantly, stick around. Soon you’re going to find out what’s up and I hope you’ll think it’s a great idea as well and I hope you’ll support it by “being there”. And telling everyone you know. Seriously.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Before You Write That Check
I used to give money to all sorts of organizations, (contrary to the belief of some people on here), and one of those was the Humane Society of the United States. I was helping! I was doing something for the animals. I mean, you can’t sit and bitch about something and not actually do something about it, right? That would make me a hypocrite. So I gave. I gave every year and I would get a t-shirt or address labels or stationary in return.
Now, I didn’t have a lot of money TO give so I gave about $20-50 at a time. In return I get a t-shirt? Um, I’d rather NOT get the t-shirt and have every penny I gave go to the animals, not some stupid address labels that I’ll never use.
So, I started looking hard at the Humane Society. And I discovered, over time, that it’s not really what they say it is. Oh sure, they save some animals. Some. Not very many. About 1 percent of your donations go to actually helping animals. The rest of it goes to a bunch of other crap as well as pockets.
But you don’t have to take my word for it. The following article will shed some light and gives you a few places to go to find more information about the HSUS.
And, in typical fashion, the organization attacks the author of the piece, personally, (doesn’t argue the facts he presented, just attacks him personally...which, we all know that tactic very well, don’t we), and states that we should not listen to him because he supports horse slaughter in this country.
MY God! The horror! What an asshole! Right?
Due to the efforts of HSUS and the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, horse slaughter was ended in the U.S. in 2007. Before you rejoice, think of what your support for that did.
The same number of horses (or more) are still being slaughtered. We now have a decimated horse market. Horses that previously brought $1000 at auction now bring less than $100. The “killer buyers” are stuffing them in trailers and transporting them more than forty hours to Mexico with little food and water.
In Mexico their end of life is anything but humane. It would sicken you to know the way in which many are put to death. Nearly 100,000 U.S. horses a year face this plight there, but you can rejoice — out of sight out of mind.
It’s not just Mexico either. Many moons ago I was a courier and I used to go to Cargo for the airlines many times. One particular airline used to ship horses overseas for slaughter. Let me tell you the conditions these horses met before they got on the plane. Imagine a container about as long as a regular sized car, about as high as a horse and about as wide as huge Ford Truck. Maybe a Ford truck and a half.
Not so bad for one horse, you say?
How about four horses?
They would stuff four horses in to one of these containers and the horses would sit, in cargo, for hours and hours and hours, stuck in that container, unable to move at all. Sitting in their shit and piss and the other horses shit and piss. For HOURS.
Eventually they would be loaded on to a plane. There they might sit for another hour. Inside the belly of a plane, inside this small container, four of them.
Then they would take off and fly for another chunk of time, 8, 10, 12 hours. Stuck in that container the entire time. In all, they could be in those containers, crammed in, for a day or more. And then? Off to slaughter. And remember, they were flown to another country where “humane” is not in their vocabulary.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, always follow the money trail. Find out where that money is going. Find out who benefits from that money. Too often, it’s not the ones you are trying to help.
If you support the HSUS, please stop. Give to a local rescue, give to a local shelter, (NOT run by HSUS), give to a local charity. Giving money to the HSUS may make you feel good if you don’t know the truth, but the reality is, the only ones feeling good are those who run the HSUS. It’s certainly not the animals.
And might I add, it is precisely these types of people who destroy any credibility for anyone who supports animal welfare. People mock them, belittle them, turn a deaf ear because of organizations like PETA and HSUS. These organizations do FAR more damage to animals than they help and should be disbanded.
When we start to take animal welfare seriously and when people actually DO the right thing for animals, do the right thing with the donations, stop trying to turn everyone in to a fucking vegetarian, TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH and stop with the scare tactics and hysterics, only then will people listen.
Go pet your dog, cat, rabbit, chicken, horse, whatever and thank GOD that animal is not in the hands of the HSUS.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Idiot Human
Dog Toys:
Indestructible Kong - $7.99: Sniffed at. Ignored.
Grab bag of deer antlers in various sizes, 6 total - $17.99: Chewed on for one day.
Frisbee - $9.99: Played with for 10 minutes.
Various stuffed toys - $4.99 - $12.99: Obliterated in 5 minutes.
Rope toys - $6.99: Played with for 20 minutes.
Mind stimulating puzzle game - $14.99: Played with for 15 minutes.
Various rubber chew toys - $5.99 - $15.99: Ignored.
Milk cartons, water jugs, cereal boxes, paper, plastic bags, my paycheck, the cat litter box, my socks, the cats, 20 oz Diet Coke bottles, the garbage can - free after use: Endless hours of entertainment, you totally rule the universe, please may we have some more, whee! what fun, huzzah, love, love, love! Bark!
Cat Toys:
Fuzzy mice filled with catnip - $4.29 for a package of 6: Played with for one week.
Remote control mouse - $15.99: Played with for 10 minutes until mouse flipped over.
Cat tree - $100.00: Played with for four months.
Various colored plastic balls with bells inside - $6.99 for a package of 4: Played with for 30 seconds.
Cloth and feathers on end of stick - $5.99: Played with for 10 minutes.
Aluminum foil rolled in to balls after use in cooking, plastic caps from milk and water jugs, paper bags, plastic bags, the couch, rubber bands, loose change, under the covers on the bed, the freshly washed, dried and folded laundry waiting to be put away, unsuspecting insect in house, lint - free: Non stop action, all day, every day, zOmG! These are the best toys, evah!!! Meow!
Hundreds of dollars spent and they prefer the packaging. I’m an idiot.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
New Training Tip! It RLLY WURKS!
This one is for Heather:
People will give you all kinds of advice on how to train your dog, how to discipline your dog, etc. Some people are forceful and mean, hitting their dogs, yelling at their dogs, or putting their dogs in complete fear of them. Some are way too nice and let their dogs do anything they want. And then there are those who will tell you calm, assertive ways to get your dog to stop doing what you don’t want your dog to do.
But I just found a sure fire, instantaneous way to get my dog, Shasta, to stop doing what I don’t want him to do to the point that he will put himself in the crate for a time out. It requires no vocalization on my part, no hand gestures, no getting up and moving him....none of that.
All it requires is one breath of air.
I was sitting here, at the computer, reading some pretty funny stuff when Shasta came over to me and startled me by putting his wet nose on my leg. Now, I also have cats. And sometimes the cats will climb all over me like a piece of furniture or get up in my face when I’m in bed, trying to sleep. Because I don’t want to move, I just blow in their face and they move.
Out of habit, when Shasta put his wet nose on my leg, I turned my head towards him and blew on his face.
He recoiled in absolute horror!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, I had to test this. I called him back over, patted his head a few times and blew in his face again. He backed up a few steps, staring at me intently like I had just threatened to cut his head off. I just stared at him. As I stared, he backed up more and more and more and finally went to his crate.
Now he doesn’t want to come over when I call him.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Obviously I need to correct that and stop fucking with him but I have now found a fantastic solution to get him to mind himself in the house.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Photos Around Where I Work
Here are some of the photos I took today from the route we take on our tours at work. Just remember, kids, I’m not a professional. Enjoy.
Birds, (I always forget the names of them), diving for dinner.
Great Blue Heron. This is the largest in the heron family. These guys will eat baby alligators although they mainly consume fish. Sometimes, they can choke to death on a fish, trying to get it down, if it’s too big. Both parents feed the kids. Herons can also seriously injure you with their beaks.
Part of the trail.
A mama alligator.
See if you can find the baby alligator in this photo. It was hatched in September making it about 3 or so months old. It belongs to mama gator, above. It takes about 65 days for eggs to hatch. Baby alligators hatch once a year, late August to early September. Females can lay between 20-50 eggs at a time. On average, only about four will make it to adulthood. At this size, the babies will eat minnows and insects.
Look towards the top, I didn’t see him in time to get him centered. This is also one of mama gator’s kids but he was hatched in September of 2008; two year old gator. He’s getting to the size where he is becoming a threat to the mama’s new gators so it’s only a matter of time before she chases him and his other two siblings who made it, out of the area.
Purple Gallinule. The ones here are very social and friendly. I call this one Junior. He’s not quite an adult. These are the most colorful birds in the Everglades. They have big, yellow feat which enable them to walk on top of lillies and grass; they don’t fly all that well. Kind of like a chicken. Male and female, as well as their young, are a tight family. During nesting, the male and female take turns sitting on the eggs. When they “switch” the one who is going to take over will go and get a leaf, bring it back and present it to the other as a gift, that other adds the leaf to the nest and they switch.
Great Egret. These birds were almost extinct in the late 1800s, early 1900s because of humans. Some fascination with their feathers. Idiots. The male egret is the one who chooses the nesting site, builds it and then goes and looks for a mate. Both parents will sit on the eggs and both parents feed the kids. To eat, the Egret will stand, motionless, for long lengths of time and then stab its victim.
Anhinga. Hard to see because he would not cooperate with me. Sometimes also called the “snake bird”. They swim under water to catch their food but unlike ducks, they do not have oils to waterproof their feathers. They must dry out their feathers by spreading their wings before they can fly. They can fly with wet feathers, just not very well.
Along the trail, in the canals. These are not mangrove trees. These are called Pond Apple trees. The Pond Apple tree is vitally important to the Everglades even though the fruit tastes terrible. It provides habitat for animals such as the snail kite, (of which there are only about 200 or so mating couples left in the Everglades....we have spotted one male and one female in our area this year but can never get close enough to take a photo before it flies off. It’s basically dark gray or black looking with a distinct white marking by its tail that you can clearly see when it flies off), and other wading birds. Some people call the fruit an alligator apple and some confuse it with custard apple. It is NOT a custard apple. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and make a pie with these apples. Blech! If you get lost in the Everglades, you CAN eat them, but...maybe try your hand at fishing, instead.
That’s it for today, kids. Hope you liked it.
[Ed note: These photos are not for reprint, redistribution or use by any body for any purpose without written consent, from me. Want to use them? Want to share them? Ask me and give me credit if you do.]
Friday, November 12, 2010
Well, Well, Well
How so very interesting. I doth believe that the hoodlums are starting to get it, even Sakari Hoodlum, the most stubborn dog on the planet.
And this is why humans are superior. We can outsmart the little shits. I decided that enough was enough, I was pulling out the big guns in their training. You wanna fuck wit me? Don’t make me go Robert De Niro on your ass!
Last night I went three places:
PetSmart
Grocery Store
Wally World (OMG!)
I started off at PetSmart to get more leashes. Reason? Because Sakari thought it would be hilarious to chew through the leashes I did have for them when I was tethering the hoodlums to me, in the house, to show them who’s boss. They did their week of silence, they learned how to behave in the crates, it was now time to let them out to be part of the family but, they still had to be tethered to me so that I could keep an eye on them at all times. And Sakari chewed through 4 different leashes.
Grrrrr!
I got replacement leashes for the ones she chomped through because I LIKED those leashes, thankyouverymuchassholedog! And then, I got chain leashes. HA! Let’s see you bite through that! HA! HA!
They are a little heavier as well so they know those leashes are on and they cannot get away with a thing because I can hear them drag across the floor if they take one step away from me. HA! HA! again! (By “tether”, I mean, because I have two hoodlums, one sits next to me while I’m on the computer and I have the handle of the leash tucked under me and the other hoodlum is sitting in the living room about 10 feet away where I can keep my eyeballs on them. However, sometimes I get engrossed in something I’m reading or doing and within a few seconds from the last time I looked at said hoodlum, I’ll hear chain dragging. Now I can correct them immediately. HA! HA! Thrice!)
Then, because I feed raw, I’ve been having a hard time finding treats for them that don’t contain a bunch of crap but PetSmart had a tub of 100% freeze dried beef liver treats. Nothing added. Nothing else in them. Just beef liver. Freeze dried. Perfect.
Well! Guess who the hell thinks I’m the King of the Universe now? That’s right, two certain hoodlums who suddenly CAN focus on me at all times on our walks. OH, so you DO know what the fuck, ‘come’ means, don’t you? Isn’t THAT interesting!
Now, these treats were a bit on the expensive side and they certainly will not last that long so I decided to venture off to Wally World, (ONLY because it’s close by to the pet store and I’d already had enough of the rush hour traffic.....groan), to find a food dehydrator so that I can make my own treats. I can dehydrate liver, chicken hearts, gizzards, pieces of beef or pork or whatever and have them handy. The organs cost so little in the store so it would save me a ton of money to do this myself.
Kids...Wally World is a very scary place, especially in this town. First of all, there must have been at least 500,000 people there last night. I got extremely lucky and found front door parking so at least I didn’t have to deal with the parking lot nightmare that much. (Total and complete luck, I tell you.) I went in and was immediately overwhelmed. I wanted to turn and run back out the door but, no, this is for the dogs and my pocketbook so buck up! Deal! Get what you need and GET! OUT!
I found the cooking department and scanned the shelves. No dehydrators. I went back, scanned again. Nothing. I went back and scanned again. No. Ok, I really want out of here and I know they have to have these damn things so I went to try to find help. Keep in mind, I live in Miami and people here seem to think that English is an insult so imagine the fun I have trying to find help.
I find one lady, ask her if she works in this area. She gestures, lamely, towards a bunch of plastic containers and mumbles something half Spanish and half English to which I understood to mean, “I’m stocking these shelves and I don’t want to deal with customers, plus my English not so good, plus I really don’t want to deal with customers, plus I’m totally fucking rude and unhelpful and I don’t know.”
I know this game.
I kept standing there and stared at her, saying nothing. What they are hoping for is for you to say, “Oh” or just give up and walk away. I don’t do that. You work here, find me some help. If you don’t know the answer, find someone who does.
She figured out that’s what I was saying by standing there and saying nothing so she started trying to find me help by bellowing out random names, looking down empty aisles. Personally I believe these were made up names so that she could turn to me and shrug her shoulders, “See? I tried to help but no one is here to help” and get back to the business of stocking plastic containers and ignoring customers and that time it worked because I did not want to be there all night going to Round 2 and 3.
So I walked off. She must have danced a jig.
I found someone else. I asked her if there were any food dehydrators and she had NO idea what the hell they were. I told her, “You know, you can put meat in them and it takes all the water out so you can make things like beef jerky?”
All she heard was, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, beef jerky?”
She pointed me to the “housewares department”.
“Ok! Thanks!”
Except...there was NO housewares department. It does not exist.
*&Y@!T!!%!$#@!!!!!!!
I walked around and around and around and eventually who did I see but Miss Housewares Department. Surprisingly she actually cared and asked me if I found what I was looking for. I told her no and asked her again where it might be. This time she told me, ‘Grocery, second line’. WTF does “second line” mean anyway? Second line at check out? Second line on the shelves? Second aisle? And which aisle is second? There’s a thousand fucking aisles here....which one is the first one so I can find the second one?
I tried to explain again what a food dehydrator was. She wasn’t getting it. I asked a customer who came up if he spoke English. Of course not. (Liar.) Finally, we were able to communicate what a fucking food dehydrator was and she told me, I shit you not, “Oh! Cookware, second line, below shelf.”
Jeezus. Krist.
I went BACK to cookware and looked and looked and looked. Finally I did find it. They were easy to miss because there were only two of them. No other brand, no other boxes, no signs, no ads, nothing. Just two boxes that had clearly been returned at one point. WHATEVS! Just get this and get the hell out of this mouse maze.
I got to check out and proceeded to have my patience tested like it does every time I stand in line at check out in any store in this town because, inevitably, someone in front of me is going to want to carry on a 10 minute conversation with the cashier about the products they are purchasing. Last night I got to listen to an older woman go on and on and on and on about the pair of pajamas she just bought. Lady, they’re pajamas. You put them on, you go to bed. It’s not that exciting. And who the hell is in Wally World at 7pm buying pajamas? What the hell did you wear the night before?
Also, the lines at check out started to get really long and then something else happened that always happens here in this town that just WARMS MY HEART. We’ve been standing in line for about 20 minutes when they decide to open 4 more registers. And of course, every single person behind me shot off towards those other registers. There was no fairness, there was no compassion or empathy for their fellow man who had been standing in line WAY longer than they had, NO! It was, ‘Screw you, suckah!’ and off they went. By the time I picked up my items to go to another line, they were all full, as well.
Assholes.
I miss the days, when I lived in Seattle, when a checker would open her register and go to the person who was next in line and have them come over, making it fair. I really do miss that.
Finally I got to the front and decided, because this town has now jaded me, that I would get my revenge on all of those people behind me. Sure, they didn’t do anything to me, that night but I’m positive that I’ve been stuck behind them for far too long in other places. So suck it.
I paid with my tip money. I paid all in ones. I counted them out carefully, slowly and faced all the bills the same way. Then the cashier had to do the same. I could hear sighing and tapping of feet and shuffling around in impatience behind me. Don’t care. If any of you had any fucking decency at all, I would have been in a shorter line and been out of here by now but you all are monkeys in a fucking zoo so again I say, suck it.
Got to my car and again got extremely lucky that I hit the lull in traffic and got out of the parking lot quickly. (Total and complete luck.)
Off to the grocery store. Got all the stuff to dehydrate and made my way to the front of the store to check out. Some guy was having his stuff rung up so I made a quick dash over to grab a drink from a cooler at the front. I was gone a total of 15 seconds. This is not an exaggeration.
When I got back, two guys were pushing my cart out of the check out line and down some random aisle to get it out of their way. The guy who was in line in front of me was JUST putting his wallet back in his pocket and grabbing his bags.
Seriously?
Seriously you assholes?
Naturally I said something about it and they got all gay snotty with me and huffed and clucked their tongues. I replied, “That’s ok, I’m used to the rudeness in this town.” They mumbled something else and I said, “Just remember, Karma’s a bitch.” One gay said, “Yes it is.” So I said, “And when you get yours, I want you to remember me. It’ll be my way of saying, ‘you’re welcome!’”
They actually got a little nervous at that point like I put some kind of voodoo on them or something. Whatever, dudes. You pissed me off with your rudeness, I’m tired as hell and I just spent 30 minutes in Wally Hell, of course I’m going to talk shit right now. Next time, don’t be such pricks and spend a second or two to look around to see if maybe the person with that cart in front of you is on their way back. Assholes.
ANYWAY, I said all of that to say this: We humans are the superior beings. (As has been clearly illustrated by my adventures above, hasn’t it?) I got home, took the hoodlums out for a walk, told them to “hurry up” as I always do. Shasta always goes when and where I tell him to because he’s a good dog. Sakari likes to fuck around and test my patience. But they had to go, really bad so when they did what I asked them, when I asked them, WHERE I asked them, I gave them a freeze dried liver treat.
“Gasp! You are the ruler of everything! What else may I do for you, Master? Anything you want, you see that I’m looking at you non stop right now, just willing and ready to please, anything you ask! You tell me, I’ll do it. And have I mentioned that you look pretty darn good in that color? You do, you are amazing! Please tell me to do something else! I want to be owned, I don’t want to be my own dog anymore. Give me a command!”
Interesting.
When I was done with both of them, I put their “inside” leashes on, the chain ones. They knew, instantly, that the fun and games were over.
Now, I’ve been letting them stay out of the crates at night time, for the most part, while sleeping. Sakari has decided that her place is on the bed, right next to me and this came about after she got spayed and threw that fit...did I tell you all about that? If not, it was the most pitiful, drama filled fest I’ve ever seen performed by a dog. She jumped out of my friend’s car, not realizing she had just been spayed and I guess got a little surprised by it all. So, she commenced to lying on her back, in the wet grass, mosquitoes swarming all around her, in the dark, and screamed at the top of her lungs for a good, solid 5 minutes. And I don’t mean she whimpered or barked, I mean she screamed. Both I and my friend thought something bad had happened to her.
Long story short, come to find out, there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with her, she was being a drama queen.
BUT, before I found that out, I felt so bad for her and was so worried that I let her sleep on the bed with me that night and the next night, “just to be sure” and keep an eye on her.
Now she has claimed that spot on the bed as hers for sleeping purposes.
Fucking dog.
Shasta was allowed to sleep on the floor next to the bed. He was fine with that until about a week ago when he started throwing a fit that Sakari got to be on the bed but he didn’t. And he threw his own dramatic production and I wasn’t getting any damn sleep and so I put him in his crate. THAT worked well!
Not.
After a good half an hour of crying and moaning and whining and carrying on, I realized that I was not going to get any sleep that night. So I caved. I WAS TIRED, OK?! You cannot fault me!
So now Shasta gets to sleep at the foot of the bed because I’m an idiot and they won that one.
Typically what happens is that some time in the middle of the night, they’ll jump off the bed and leave the room to go snoop through the cat litter boxes, fling garbage all over the house or chew something up that doesn’t belong to them. And typically I see it all in the morning but by then it’s too late and there isn’t much I can do about it. I didn’t catch them in the act, I screwed up. I can’t yell at them for it afterwards.
So sometimes they would be in their crates and those were the nights I didn’t get much sleep. Oh, no, they would eventually shut the hell up but I’d hear their toenails on the crate trays as they sat and stood up and sat and turned and sat and stood up and did everything in their power aside from whining to let me know that they were VERY. UNHAPPY.
Total. Assholes.
BUT, here is why I say we are superior. I put those chain leashes on their necks last night, went to bed and they did not move a muscle the entire night. They were still on the bed when I got up to take them out to go to the bathroom. In fact, they were quite comfortable and had no desire to move.
Until I pulled out the freeze dried treats.
>BAM!< At the door, ready to go, let's get this show on the road, sister!
When I came home from work, I took them out, (always one by one, by the way), and decided to use the treats and the clicker for some serious training. Shasta does pretty good off leash but sometimes he'll see another human or dog and take off running towards them completely ignoring my calls for him to return, as if he was suddenly stricken deaf.
Today? I carried the tub of treats on the walk with me, the first time. When he started to perk up his ears ready to run off to something very interesting, I'd shake the tub of treats.
"Wassat?! Treats?"
>Zoom!<
Back to me, right in front of me, I mean, literally right at my feet with the most proper sit any dog has ever done.
Well. Isn’t that interesting.
I repeated this a few times around the area and nothing else on the planet was of any interest to him whatsoever.
Then it was Sakari’s turn. She never listens so I don’t let her off leash. This time I left the tub at home and just filled my pocket with treats and grabbed the clicker. I had her “hurry up” first and then we went to the “run around” area. Before we got there, I clicked the clicker to get her attention. When she looked and sat, I gave her a treat. I did this a few times and she now knew, “Hey, that weird noise means I get something good!”
I decided to test it.
I took her off her leash. God please let this work.
She at first didn’t go very far, just kept trotting along beside me, staring up at me, “Ya got treats? Can I have some? Can I? Huh, huh? Can I?”
When she didn’t get anything, she started to trot off ahead of me. I stopped walking and let her go a little ways and hoped to everything that she would come back.
I clicked. She stopped and turned to look at me. I crouched down, she full on ran over to me. Right at my feet, again, literally, she stopped and sat, blam! Perfectly. “Here’s your treat.”
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.
I can now walk Sakari off leash. Hole lee shit. It totally worked.
We come back in the house, she sits, immediately. !!!!
AND, here’s a new one:
If I do not get to her in time, she’ll pee in the house. This is why I take them out so often to use the bathroom. But tonight, now that they know they have heavy, noise making indoor leashes and now that they know I have the best treats in all the land, they are doing everything I ever told them to do and then some.
I never taught them to signal me when they needed to go to the bathroom. I would just watch for warning signs...sniffing around, pacing, things like that.
I looked up from the computer at one point and didn’t see Sakari in the living room where I left her. For a second, I was about to get annoyed. But then I looked over and there she was, sitting at the door, looking straight at me.
She was letting me know, she had to go outside to go to the bathroom.
You have no idea how fucking a) cool that was and b) a relief that was that she waited and didn’t piddle in the house.
We went outside, I did not bring treats but she peed exactly where I wanted her to and immediately.
See, the hoodlums may make me look like a complete jack ass sometimes but I’m the human and always find ways to outsmart certain stubborn attitudes from certain stubborn hoodlums. And this, kids, in a long, winded way of telling you, is why humans are superior.
HA! HA! Dogs! I win, you LOSE!
Click For The Cats
I have a friend who has helped me out immensely when it comes to saving cats and the hoodlums. She was instrumental in assisting me with some stray cats I took in where I live and ended up having kittens. She spent considerable amount of time, money, effort, getting up at the crack of dawn, etc, just to help.
And she never complained.
I’d like to help her and her organization out in return. Eventually, I would like to work up some sort of donation for her organization but right now, I’d like to ask all of you if you would help out in the following endeavor:
"As many of you know, Midtown Cats is part of Cat Network. We’ve been involved in many of their Spay Days. Cat Network is a South Florida organization where ALL of the money goes to assisting felines. We are competing for a Pepsi Refresh grant and need your help. Here’s your opportunity to think globally and act locally!
Please take a moment each day to click on the link below or text your vote - we can’t win without you…
PHONE: text 103893 TO 73774
About The Cat Network, Inc.
We are a grass-roots organization with over 2,500 members. Members have trapped & sterilized 55,000+ stray & abandoned cats & have adopted out 7,500+ cats since inception in ‘96. Our mission is to make South Florida a no-kill community through education & low cost spay/neuter of pets and strays.
* Spay/neuter 3,000 free roaming cats at no cost to the community
* Work towards zero euthanasia rate by humanely reducing cat over-population
* Reduce shelter intake of stray cats
* Educate the public about the importance of spay/neuter
Overview
South Florida has an extreme homeless/stray cat problem. Due to year round warm temperatures, stray cats breed all year long. The situation is compounded by lack of funding for sterilization programs. There are an estimated 700,000 stray cats in the Greater Miami & Ft. Lauderdale areas. Most stray cats that wind up in shelters are euthanized due to lack of space and homes, even healthy adoptable ones.
In the past, The Cat Network has partnered with other local animal rescue groups to offer free spay/neuter days for free-roaming cats. In the last such event over 230 cats were sterilized. However, we need to offer more of these events to put a dent in the homeless cat population and euthanasia rate.
Winning the Pepsi Refresh challenge will enable us to once again partner with local animal rescue groups to offer 8 free spay/neuter days for free-roaming cats. 100% of the money would go directly to sterilizing homeless cats thus humanely reducing their population. Thank you.
How will the 50K be Used?
Budget Notes: All vets, vet techs and support personal for the events are volunteers. One hundred percent of the money will go to the direct expenses associated with sterilizing cats at a cost of approximately $25 per cat.
$ 40,000--Pharmaceuticals
$ 9,000--Surgical supplies
$ 1,000--Fuel & insurance for mobile surgical units.
The Cat Network, Inc.
Your vote is very important..."
Click and vote. Help out. Save a kitteh. Save $50,000 worth of kittehs.
[Editor’s Note: Please be aware that blockquote was slightly adjusted in areas for emphasis, grammar errors and spacing.]
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Oh Goody!
As mentioned earlier, the hoodlums are about six months old now and RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, they are in what I call the “teenage gangly years” where they defy everything, refuse to listen, act like they’ve never heard that command before, test me, ignore me and basically point and laugh at me when I tell them to do something.
I’m so gottdamned thrilled I can’t even stand it.
I remember going through this with Pandora. Not only do they act like defiant teenagers…
Me: Shasta, hurry up!
Shasta: I HATE IT HERE!!!!!
Me: Shasta, hurry up!
Shasta: Screw you, you don’t own me! You’re not the boss of me!
They also put on dramatic shows worthy of an Academy Award:
Me: Alright, you don’t want to listen, back in to the crate.
Shasta: >SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!< You're killing me! Let me out! I've been in here forever!! Help me! Someone HELP ME! HELP!!!!! ME!!!!!!!
Me: Sigh. Assholes.
If I remember right, this should last a good couple of months. However, I didn't know as much last time as I do now so maybe it won't last as long. Although Sakari is currently in her crate throwing an all out fit because I'm killing her.
I so want them to be good so we can play and frolic and have fun times and cuddle and all that happy horseshit but, while they're acting like I'm severing limbs every time I ask them to do something, it's going to be "tough love" around here, kids.
It sucks. But it's necessary.
Asshole Hoodlum 1, Sakari:
Asshole Hoodlum 2, Shasta:
Do not be fooled by their “sweet” faces. They are LYING!
Monday, November 01, 2010
THoSV
Here are some more pics of my hoodlums. These posts are going to be titled, “The Hounds of Serenity’sville” thanks to reader BloodSpite for the name.
Sakari:
She doesn’t always come when I call so she’s on a 30’ leash during training, (that’s the black leash you see in the pic). We are working on it and she’s starting to get it by I in no way completely trust that she’ll come, right now. She’s also being a bit of a bitch with house training. We’ve had to step back a few paces and this requires more kennel time...I don’t like it, neither does she but until she learns that you a) do NOT pee in my house and b) you go where I fucking tell you to, she’s repeating those lessons. Sigh.
Shasta:
Shasta is very good about coming when I call and I don’t typically worry about having him off leash. Until today. I took him out today, let him off leash and he did not come when called and he did not go to “tree” which is a meeting place. Today he decided to test me. I found a partial coconut shell, something he loves to chew on, and enticed him with it to come over to me and >snap<, back on with the leash, buddy. He is also learning that he is not allowed to chew my things. So, we are going back a step with him on that, too, which also requires more kennel time. I was just getting to the point of letting them stay out, at night, next to the bed but that’s not going to happen for awhile. Not since he chewed a corner of my comforter, chewed the corner of my bed, chewed the side of the cat stairs leading to the bed, got in to the garbage and flung it all over the house and chewed my shoes. Yah. So that privilege is gone.
It’s ok, they are puppies and I chalk the chewing up to teething. This is when they are getting all of their adult teeth. He has a rope toy to chew but apparently it’s far more delightful to destroy all of my things, instead. Enjoy crate time, punk!
OTHERWISE, they’re pretty good dogs. We just have a bit to go on learning respect and respect for my things so I have to take a step or two back and try again. I think I gave in too early when I should have made sure it was 100%. My bad. That’s ok, they’re going to get it this time.
Word count in NaNoWriMo: 5498. I have exceeded today’s goal. I’m going to let it simmer a bit and will come back to it later. I have to do the bulk of my writing on my days off since I’m so exhausted by the time I get home from work, tend to my real life farmville I have going on here and get to the point I can sit and relax. But, I’ll be doing a lot of thinking and making notes while I’m at work.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Another Cool Thing About Chile
I’m gaining a whole new respect for the people of Chile these days. I’m already beyond impressed and amazed by the miners...nothing can compare to that but I’m also quite impressed with the following video.
Now, a lot of times, I see photos or videos that people say is “cute” and I think, “cheesy” or am not all that impressed with it but this one...it IS a teensy on the cheesy side but it’s also quite impressive. Watch the whole thing, I think it’s worth it:
Considering I can’t even get my dogs to lie down every single time I tell them to or come to me every time I call for them, I can really appreciate the hours of training and patience that went in to this. And the dog looks happy, looks gorgeous, obviously well taken care of. I’ll be looking at my dogs a little differently now when they refuse to co-operate. Maybe I’ll show them this video.
Monday, October 25, 2010
New Photos Of The Hoodlums
They are about six months old now.
Shasta:
Sakari:
Monday, October 11, 2010
Two Weeks
What incredible progress. It’s been just a day over two weeks and every single cat is eating raw. Even Shadow. In fact, I used to feed Shadow, Rani and Serenity their own bowls away from the other four for different reasons.
Rani because she and the others, (except Serenity), have issues. So Rani eats in peace on the table.
Serenity because she is older and needs little, tiny pieces as she learns to chew not scoop and get her jaw muscles built up.
Shadow because it was the only way to get her to eat.
Now? Shadow, Casper, DST, Blondie and Morticia all eat on the towels I lay down on the floor. I put down 5 bowls of food there and they go from bowl to bowl, eating away. I will also, at times, put down a plate of chicken with bone. Most of them are still getting the hang of that but all 5 of them have at some point chomped on bone so this is very good.
Rani still eats on the table, next to me on the lap top and she knows how to chomp a bone. She doesn’t always have interest in eating a chicken leg or wing but when she does, she does a fine job of it.
Serenity is still working on the chewing. I discovered one day, when I saw she wasn’t getting enough to eat, that she doesn’t know how to pick the food up with her mouth like the other cats do. What she’s been doing all her life, because the dry food kibble pieces were so small, is scooping the pieces up with her tongue and then chewing them. Course, it doesn’t take much effort to crumble a kibble piece so her jaw muscles need to be stronger so she can eat bigger pieces. Therefore, I have to make a special bowl for her that has tiny, tiny cut up pieces of meat. And, most of the time, I have to put herring or sardine on top to get her in to it. But, she is eating raw, not dry food, not canned.
In fact, tonight I sent the dogs with a rescue worker who is taking them to get spayed/neutered tomorrow morning and gave her the unopened bag of dry dog food, unopened bag of dry cat food and two boxes of canned cat food that were unused. My animals will no longer need them so let them go to a rescue to help out with saving other animals.
I kept four cans of canned food just in case but I think I may not need them.
So, dinner time goes a whole hell of a lot faster around here these days. I have most of the meats already cut up and bagged in freezer bags. I pull a bag out of the chest freezer the night or two before, thaw them out, load up the bowls and place them in front of the cats. For chicken wings and legs, I have put 7 in each bag and I every other day or so, put them on a paper plate in the middle of the bowls and let them decide if they want to eat them or not. I usually put those down first so that while I’m getting the bowls ready, the cats are gnawing on bone. (Rani gets a wing or leg in her bowl and at this point, I don’t give any to Serenity. I may have to grind them for her.) And with the dogs, since I feed them in their crates, I’ve discovered I don’t need to use their bowls anymore. Their food only stayed in their bowls for a second before they would drag it out of there so what is the point of messing up the bowls and having to wash them every night?
What used to take about an hour and a half, (getting things ready, ensuring every one was eating, moving a cat to a bowl, moving a bowl to a cat, finding something that the cat would eat, blah, blah, blah and then giving the dogs their food in bowls and then washing everything), now takes about half an hour from opening the fridge to start to picking up empty bowls, washing them, washing the freezer bags to re-use and disinfecting the crate trays when the dogs are finished.
One thing that people say is that raw feeding is less expensive than buying dry food.
No. It’s not. It’s way more expensive even with good deals. The only way it would be cheaper is if you can find meat for free. There are ways to do that but you cannot count on it. I do not know what people mean when they say it’s cheaper. Maybe if you only have one dog or one cat it is but not with this many animals, it most certainly is not. It doesn’t have to be horribly expensive but I’m spending about $100 more per month on the animals’ food than I did with dry food bags from the grocery store. And since they are all basically the same crap with different labels, paying $35 for a “high end” bag of cat food as compared to say, $15 for a bag of Friskies, you’re really just throwing your money away. But raw feeding is not going to be cheaper if you have several animals to feed. That is one argument I hear for raw all the time and that is one argument I’d like to dispel because it is not true in many cases.
That does not mean that feeding raw should be dismissed as there are several benefits to doing so but I like to be truthful here and don’t want anyone who is interested about switching to think they are going to save money on food. You more than likely will not. You will probably save money on vet bills down the road but not on food. Unless you are lucky and find a haul of free meat somewhere. (For example, I have a co-worker who hunts and should he bag Bambi, I’ve been promised parts he doesn’t use, for free. But, again, this cannot be counted on because maybe he sucks as a hunter.) Some people have butcher friends, farmer friends, rancher friends, chef friends and that helps. A lot. Some people will take freezer burned meat off of others hands. Some will post ads for raw, unwanted meat. I haven’t done that yet because frankly, I do not trust the people in this town. I absolutely do not at all. It’s sad to say but I’ve seen how these people act and I’m looking forward to the day that I have the money saved up that I want saved up to get the hell out of here.
I like Florida, just not this city. Hell, even going one hour north, everything changes but that’s another post for another day.
Anyway, I’m quite surprised how quickly the cats adapted to this raw diet and I am hoping that those of you who have written me showing interest in switching will have the same luck if you do. But I do want you to keep in mind, it will probably end up costing more. If you go in to it knowing everything, you’ll stand a much better chance of sticking with it.
(Also, it gets a little addicting and I actually like watching the animals eat now. It sounds silly but it’s fun to watch them eat their raw foods so greedily.)
Oh and I also discovered the other day that pork is a big, big hit. I had purchased a pork shoulder roast thing...still had the skin on it....blech, and cut away the meat to get to the bone part. There was a joint/socket in there so it took some work to get those bones apart to feed the dogs, (and there’s still plenty of meat left on those bones for the dogs). I cut away a LOT of meat. By the time I got to this pork shoulder roast thing, I was tired of cutting up meat so I opted to just cut it in to basic chunks, not bite sized, and would cut them the day I fed them. I filled up almost 10 bags with just the pork and that is all for the cats.
The other day I decided to give it to the cats just to see if they would eat it. I got their bowls out, started cutting and would put some in to a bowl, put that bowl on the towel and then go back to cutting bite sized pieces for the next bowl. When it was ready, I would turn to put it down and see that the first bowl was empty. I could not fill these bowls up fast enough for the cats. I had more pork in the bag than I was going to use for that one meal but they were gulping it down so fast that I ended up giving them all of it. Holy Crap they love pork! GOOD to know!
So I think with the cats, I’m going to stick to mainly chicken, pork and some of the less expensive fish. They can have salmon and fresh tilapia on special occasions but not all the time like they’ve been getting. I cannot afford that. I have to find something else relatively cheap but good to feed them but I’m pleased about the pork and chicken because that can be bought fairly inexpensively. I can also get them beef hearts, chicken gizzards, livers and hearts, cow kidney all for very cheap. (That is one good thing about Miami...these people eat the weirdest fucking shit that I would never put in to my mouth but it makes shopping for the animals really easy. I do not have to go out of my way to find this stuff, all of it can be found in my local Publix.) All the chicken, pork and organs are pretty cheap. Skinless/boneless chicken of course is not and they will get that from time to time...most of the fish is not inexpensive but I will try to find ways around that. I live in fricken Florida, you’d think I could find some damn fish for free around here.
I’m still discovering what else I can feed them. Pretty much it’s everything the dogs can eat except in smaller quantities. But the bones, I think, should not be beef or pork bones. I think only chicken and maybe some turkey bones. Otherwise, I think they might be too hard for the cats’ teeth. I’m still learning about that though.
Anyway, I hope that helps those who are interested and hope that your cats will switch over as easily as mine did if you decide to go for it.
