Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Personal Memo
To: Myself
Subject: Be Strong
Dear Self:
Today is the day you’ve been dreading since early November. Today is the day that St. Hope and Change becomes president. Today there will be mass swooning, fainting and tingles running down peoples legs. Today you will hear idiots talking about how wonderful it all is. Today you will see the effects of mass Kool-Aid consumption. Today you will be sickened. Today will be very hard to keep your mouth closed.
Do not be snarky. Do not open your mouth except to give your tours. Speak only of the Everglades. If someone asks you if it isn’t just wonderful that the messiah has been sworn in, walk away. Do not give them a dirty look, do not say a damn thing, just walk away. St. Hope and Change will not pay your bills. He will not fill up your gas tank. He will not pay for your education. He will not keep food on your table. He will not pay your cat’s vet bills.
You are the one who will do all of that and you can’t very well do that if you go bat shit crazy on an obamabot disguised as a tourist. If some European tells you that they accept you as an American now, that you are suddenly smarter than you were yesterday, that you’re cool now, bite your tongue. Bite it hard. Bite it until it bleeds. Bite it in half if you have to but do NOT respond to them.
Keep in mind that patience is a virtue. Keep in mind that while they think victory is theirs now, time will reveal some horrifying realities to them soon. Keep in mind that the fawning and gushing will soon be replaced with anger, crying and whining. Keep in mind that those who laugh last, laugh best.
KEEP. YOUR. MOUTH. SHUT. TODAY.
DO. NOT. DO SOMETHING STUPID to get yourself fired.
SHUT. UP.
You are bigger than this. You are stronger than this. You can do this. You can make it through the next 9 hours. You can do it. (Yes you can!)
Be quiet. Walk away.
Displaying your disgust for the national circle jerk is not worth it.
Tonight? Do not turn on your t.v. Drink. Heavily. Play your Wii. Visit Dogette’s blog as she promised to write about anything BUT this day.
Hold your gun receipt in your hand and imagine yourself by this time next week holding your gun.
Pet your cats. Clean their litter. Hell, clean the house. Get on your hands and knees and use a toothbrush to get every corner. Rake the yard. Have a BBQ. Read a book. Shut the lights out and go to bed early.
Just do NOT get fired today and do not give yourself heart failure today.
Love,
Me
