Let’s see if I can re-enact all the party details.  Earlier today I woke up.  I quickly got started on laying here.  To add some excitement to my day, I fluffed my pillows up and rearranged the 10 books I am reading or planning to read so that they wouldn’t slide down the side between the bed and the wall.

Then I lay back down, exhausted from it all.  After that, I decided to lay here some more.  A few times today I got up and went outside to have a smoke and thoroughly enjoyed watching the neighbors watch me.

They never say anything, never wave and they try, sadly failing, to pretend they aren’t staring at me.  But I catch them.  Only one lady ever waves at me.  In fact, she makes a point of waving at me.  That’s kinda nice.  Everyone else just stares.  Do you think it has anything to do with my Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer pajamas?

Maybe it’s because my hair was slightly dirty.  Yah, I don’t bathe everyday now.  Oh please...don’t even start.  It’s not like I’m working in a coal mine.  I just lay here. 

Day in.  Day out.

And frankly, getting into a tub with a 50 ton cast dangling from you and manuevering it around to flop over the side because it can’t get wet is a real chore.  Not to mention highly dangerous.  What if I slip?  Wouldn’t that be fantastic?  The neighbors think my pajamas are something to gawk at....imagine having to call someone to come get me..........well, you know what...I’ll just let you conjure up your own damn images. 

Let me know when you’re done laughing.

Someone asked me if I’m going stir crazy and another friend asked me if I have cabin fever yet.  Hmm.

Moving on.  Read some, ate some, slept some, read some more.  Then I decided to go to real estate sites in various cities and look up houses I’ll never be able to afford. 

I proceeded to remodel about thirty different half million dollar beach front property homes today.

“That house is fantastic but the first thing I would do is rip out those ugly kitchen cabinets.  Bathroom is a little small....wonder if I would be able to knock wall down and make it larger.”

Then I went to different online stores and picked out furniture.  You should see my make believe home.  It’s to die for.

Anway, after that I went and had another smoke.  Watched a neighbor bring his garbage to the curb and then watched him walk to the end of the block....Since we are right at a T-intersection, him reaching the curb put him directly in my line of sight.  He stood there, dragging on his cigarette, looking down the street....at what, who knows.  Then he turned around and started heading back, but not before stealing a glance over at me.  Uh huh.  I guess the last 20 times I’ve been out here didn’t quite do it for him.  It’s gotta be the pj’s.

Oh, I’ve been eating tons of fruit lately.  I got paranoid that laying here and eating would make me grow enormously obese so I’ve been invading my system with healthy food.  It doesn’t quite know what to do with all these nutrients.  It has been such a long time since it has seen any in any type of abundance.  Eh well, keep it guessing.

I’m starting to become one with the squirrels.  Earlier today I was coming back from the kitchen with some food and since I have to use my hands to crutch myself along, I had taken the ends of the packages and set them between my teeth.

As I crutched through the dining room, I looked out the french doors to my left and saw a squirrel stuffing food in its cheeks and then navigating around on its paws.  I stopped.  It stopped.  We stared at each other.  We understood each other I think.  Then we both continued on, food shoved in our mouths for later consumption.  It was a defining moment for me.

I then came back into my room and went through the ritual of getting myself back into bed and somewhat comfortable.  I stopped halfway through this and stared at the dead flower arrangement my sister got for me.

It had been beautiful and vibrant, giving off the most delicious odors at one time.  Now its just half dead, wilting and smells like piss. 

No, I did not have a defining moment then, but thanks for asking.  Jerks.

And now it’s late and everyone is all nestled into their beds to sleep off their activity filled days. 

Me?  I’m gonna finish this up and then see if I can catch the actual moment that milk begins to curdle in a glass.

Just think, I got about three more weeks of this.  Oh yah, the VA called and said I get my staples out April 08.  Hopefully then I can have some sort of boot or something.

You know what’s funny?  A few years ago, when I was working three jobs, I had said, “Man, what I wouldn’t give to just be able to not have to work and lay in bed for like two months and just sleep.  That would be perfect cause I’m so tired.”

Looks like I got my wish.  hahahahahahaha!

Fuck.