Monday, June 20, 2005
Bloggers Lifecycle
You know damn good and well that every last person who has ever had a personal site has followed the outlined lifestyle:
MinJung Kim’s LifeCycle of the Blogger
MinJungKim’s steps are in bold, my response to them is underneath.
1) Start reading blogs.
I skipped this step and went straight into blogging, really. As I’ve said here before, I saw Glenn Reynolds on CNN talking about blogging, way back in April of 2003. I had no idea what a blog was so decided to get on the internet to check out his site. This brought me to search for a place I could call my own. So, technically, I didn’t really “start reading blogs” before deciding I wanted one too.
2) You start a blog.
Check
3) You become a stats whore.
Check. (Now I don’t give a shit how many people come here.)
4) You become really personal on your site and as the online and real life world starts confusing you.
I’ve become very personal on my site but I don’t agree that it was because my online and real life world started to become blend or confuse me. The personal things I wrote on my site I wrote because I was writing to strangers. However, I have seen people who can’t seem to make the difference between online life and real life and some people’s online lives BECOME their real lives. They socialize with people on line exclusively and don’t leave their homes to mingle with the rest of society. It’s pretty sickening to watch, really.
5) You “faux” retire from blogging.
I don’t retire. I just stop for awhile.
6) You cave back into blogging in less than 72 hours.
This is hilarious to watch.
7) You decide to “get serious” about blogging.
::Smacks forehead:: Guilty. (Now I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about it so am no longer serious.)
8) You have a pseudo flirty im/blogging/flickr flirting relationship with another blogger whom you have never met.
I think not.
9) You decide that you must meet other bloggers.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Yes, I did decide this. I did meet a few who were really cool. The rest? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
10) You take a step back and metablog about blogging and what blogging has done about your blogging.
See very first sentence of this entry. I hate doing it and the only reason I ever wrote about it is when I had nothing else to talk about. It was my “writer’s block” subject. Seriously.
11) See step 5.
As MinJungKim says: “Shampoo, rinse, repeat.” Yes, yes and yes.
12) You decide that as a result of step 10 and having repeated step 5 more than 3 times in the course of your lifecycle as a blogger, that you need to sanitize or reinvent your blog.
Yes. I said plenty of times that I was going to stop blogging politics only to find myself doing it again. I said I was going to close comments. Then I opened them. Then I closed them. Then I opened them. Then I closed them. Then I said, “Screw you all and made it member’s only”. Then I said I was going to write about animal welfare. Then I started writing about other things. Then I whittled my “member’s only” list down even more. Then I closed my archives. Then I wrote one post and only allowed that one to show on the site for a period of time before I would take that one away too leaving the guest with nothing but a field of purple. And here I am once again, this time though I’ve taken all the crap I’ve learned and have decided I don’t give a horse’s ass what anyone thinks of this site.
13) You either lose your job because of blogging, are afraid of losing your job for blogging, or join a company that builds blogging tools.
Nope. I’m not stupid enough to fall prey to this one.
14) You decide to start an anonymous livejournal blog.
Hell no!
That concludes MinJungKim’s list..or stages, rather of the lifecycle of a blogger. Many will repeat it over and over again. I think I’ve gone through it completely, once...with exception of #13. I think there should also be a list of the “Lifecycle of the Commenter”. Perhaps I’ll start that. Here are some highlights:
“I’ll always come back to read you as long as you write.”
“Best. Post. Ever!” (could also be: “Best. Photoshop. Ever!")
The “I comment on this site all the time. That gives me certain rights and I’m the blogger’s dear friend simply because of this. Not that we actually know each other, but who needs reality when I’ve got the blogosphere to make me feel popular” commenters.
Trolls and the people who feed them before or after they say, “Don’t feed the trolls”.
The ones who think they know you and practially beg you to meet up with them.
The not clever commenters who use the tired ass phrase, “Tell us how you REALLY feel...hahahaha!” Um, they just did you douche.
Also, “Remind me not to get on your bad side. LOL!” Oh jeezus, shut up! SHUT! UP!
The “Even though I don’t agree with you and won’t even listen to your points, I’ll keep up the appearance that I have an open mind by continually coming back here and slinging my thoughts all over the place...any opportunity I can take to tell someone they are an idiot makes my life seem less pathetic” commenters.
The ones who demand. The ones who say you owe them. The ones who feel that have every right to dictate what you say, how you say it and when. The ones who come into your house, shit in the chip dip and act surprised when everyone else gets pissed. The ones who don’t realize that this is not their site. The ones who take the time to write out lengthy emails or comments stating what a horrible fucking time they had here. Hey! Guess what! This isn’t a business! There are no “Customer Service Rewards”, no one cares if you think you didn’t get your “money’s worth”, no one cares if the writer didn’t bring you your drink on time, no one cares. Got that? Feedback or comments open means talk about the post in question. Email is for those who are too shy to do it in comments. Neither of these are to be abused for you to get your angst out because you had a shitty day or were ignored as a child. And they most certainly are not to be used as a means to promote your own site.
Yah. Bloggers may have their little hissy fits. I’ve had them on here. I don’t deny that for a second. I’ve had a handful of them on here. Let’s not forget, however, that commenters are not innocent either and have shown their asses plenty of times.
Stupid thing, blogging. I keep doing it. Guess it’s like smoking cigarettes. Stupid, yet I keep doing it.
[Link found on Chaos Theory]
