Sunday, June 13, 2004
Can't Buy Me Love
Awwww....all is not well in TinselTown for poor Justin Timberlake. Seems he got dumped by his girlfriend, Cameron Diaz.
Justin Timberlake reportedly has been dumped by girlfriend Cameron Diaz—because she thinks she’ll be taken more seriously in Hollywood without him.
Er...yah. It was her choice of boyfriend that was holding her back. I’m sure those Charlie’s Angels movies had nothing to do with her falling image. Newp.
"Justin wanted Cameron to move in with him but she didn’t feel ready to make that kind of commitment. She told him in Cannes because being at the film festival made her realize just how important her career is to her."
Not a thing wrong with being very passionate about one’s career but let’s read between the lines. This isn’t just about her career, mmkay? This is a nice, tactful way of saying, “Yah, Justin, you ain’t doin’ it for me.”
So, what does Justin do? Does he take the hint and bow out gracefully? Of course not! He is under the impression that he can buy back her affections.
Justin Timberlake hopes to patch things up with Cameron Diaz by taking her out on a £50,000 date.
Ahem...Justin...that never works. Oh, maybe temporarily as now the girl feels obligated to be civil to you but in the long run....it simply doesn’t pan out the way you hope.
...the singer persuaded his girlfriend to come on his tour of Australia with him after they had a huge row over their busy schedules.
I think the statement she made was that she wanted to be taken seriously in Hollywood and having Justin on her arm isn’t going to do it for her. Looks as though Timber here can’t accept that. Denial is not only a river in Egypt.
So to reward her he now plans to take her out for a special meal at Doyles fish restaurant in Sydney.
Reward her? Reward her like a dog who does a trick correctly? Hey Justin, I think I may have found the problems in your relationship.
He has also booked a jazz band and soul singers to provide entertainment, and wants white roses and candles everywhere.
Oh how stifilingly boring! Sigh...this has been so done before. Something creative Justin....you’re losing points left and right here.
"Justin has made enquiries at Doyles in Watsons Bay to see if they will stay open extra late for him and Cameron to eat alone, just the two of them."
Ah, so not only does he “reward” his girlfriends as if they were of the canine species, he’s selfish too. He wants the staff at this restaurant to work later, disregarding their own families and lives so that he can try, in a seriously desperate and pitiful attempt, to win back the heart of a girl who clearly does not want him around.
It’s sad really.
Speaking of Timberlake girls and lots of money, Britney was spotted out shopping earlier.
I wonder if she heeded my advice to buy decent looking apparel.
Sigh! Celebrities. They can’t even dress themselves without direction. What’s with the hat Britney? The trucker look is getting really old and it never did look good on you. I promise it’s easier to run a brush through your hair than stuff all of it into an unsightly cap. And is that a spaghetti sauce stain I see? How the hell did you get Chef Boyardee up that high? Actually, you know what? Nevermind. I’ve just decided some things are better left unknown. So, fine. I will offer some choices:
Since you like the look of farmers and/or truckers, you know how much they rely on duct tape so, if you really want to go for the look, have you considered…
...duct tape clothing?
No? Yah, it is stupid isn’t it. OH! I know! This is all the rage up in Idaho and there are tons of farmers and truckers and the like up there! How about:
Huh? Whaddya think? And you can even still get away with wearing a hat! Look:
I think your fake blonde hair would set off the leafy green rather well. Comments?
Too complicated? Need something a little more subtle, help you blend in with the crowd? Ok. How about a very simple cut potato sack?
Looks good on Barbie doesn’t it?
I think we have a winner here folks.
[credits: Kevin @ Wizbang for Duct Tape Clothing and BlogCastLive for the Barbie photoshop]
