Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Christmas Shopping Made Easy
I’ve been completely unmotivated to write anything so instead I thought I would help you cross off your list all those who have everything or are hard to shop for.
For those on your list who never cease to toss around how offended they are by damn near everything under the sun, I give you the Politically Correct Christmas Gifts list. This list includes such rare items like the:
Progressive Hero Trading Cards - Show your solidarity with the most beloved progressives of the past century. Set includes such liberal icons as Ronald Everett (the convicted felon who invented Kwanza and burned a woman’s mouth with a hot soldering iron), Ira Einhorn (the convicted felon who created Earth Day just before murdering his girlfriend and fleeing to Europe), and Yasser Arafat (the father of modern Islamic terrorism). Each pack of cards comes with one stick of organic chewing gum. $7.99/pack.
Or for all your Kool-Aid apologists, you can buy them a:
"He’s Not My President!” World Map - Feel better about yourself with this beautiful Rand McNally world map, showing the U.S. states that didn’t vote for Bush (as well as all foreign countries) colored in blue. Even the oceans are blue (proving that our aquatic friends are intelligent after all). How can Dubya claim he has a “mandate” when countries such as China, Zimbabwe, and the Lost City of Atlantis didn’t vote for him? He can’t! $35.99
There is much, much more so be sure to browse around as you are certain to find that perfect gift for those you love, hate or despise.
Are the people in your city the absolute shittiest drivers on the planet? If you live in Seattle the answer is a resounding yes but for the rest of you, when poor driving may not be quite as obvious as with those who dwell in the Pac Northwest, take the time to educate them by displaying your Road Rage Anger Management cards. Here you will find a card to suit any occassion, even for those who stop in the middle of the freeway at rush hour and cause a five car pile-up because they wanted to enjoy the rainbow.
(Example)
It’s the gift that keeps on giving.......to everyone who crosses your path while you’re driving.
With such a fantastic quantity of quality items to choose from, this year’s holiday shopping should be a snap...courtesy of your pals at Serenity’s Journal.
Happy Chrismannakwanzamadanaliday!
