Sunday, December 21, 2008
Clearing The Clutter
***I don’t get Twitter. I’ve read their “About Us” page and I still don’t get it. Isn’t that what email is for? Who says you have to respond right away or at all? Hey, just because the phone rings it doesn’t mean you have to answer it. You are NOT a slave to technology. I also don’t get why someone would have a blog, Facebook, Twitter and a MySpace account. Why? So people can find you? Trust me, people find me all the time here whether I like it or not. Do we really have that many important things to talk about? Are we that damn lonely out there?
***Have you ever done something, genuine, to assist someone else and you get screwed over? Now, I don’t mean that the person you tried to help screws you over, I mean, there was some sort of rip in the universe and shit that has never happened before, EVER, has happened and you pay the price for it? What the fuck is up with that kind of shit? I thought bad Karma came only when you did something horrible to someone else NOT when you fucking tried to help someone else when they needed it. And no, I’m not one to believe that you have to pay before you get good if you didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. (And no, this has nothing to do with my enjoying, for the slightest moment, someone elses’ shit Karma that they got in their FACE! This happened awhile ago, to me.) I guess the saying is, “No good deed goes unpunished.” Apparently.
***The older I get, the more I realize that people make no sense to me whatsoever. Sometimes I know I can be dumb and gullible. Sometimes I know I can be naive and too trusting which is funny because I don’t fucking trust people as a general rule. Sometimes I can let my emotions blind me to the truth. But sometimes, things are bigger than I’ll understand and sometimes I’m too impatient to see what happens. And sometimes, people say one thing but do another and I think that a lot of people just plain ass lie. But sometimes, people don’t run their own lives and they do things that make zero sense to me and I find that rather sad.
***Today I decided to treat myself to something I’ve never had before. I am addicted to Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen and that sort of thing because I think it would be cool to be a chef except I hate seafood and I am rather picky about so much that I wouldn’t make a good chef because I wouldn’t know if it tasted good or not...so there goes that career. Anyhoo, I bought myself a Quiche Lorraine today and damn if that isn’t some good stuff right there. And now, I can’t get the B-52s out of my head....Quiche Lapoodle..is her name. Has anyone seen, a dog dyed dark green...sunglasses and a bonnet, designer jeans with appliquades on it. The dog that brought me so much joy, has left me wallowing in pain.....I can’t be the only one who knows that song? How old are you people and where have you been? Under a rock? God, watch some VH-1CL for a change.
***I’ve been in a pretty crappy mood lately and I don’t know that it’s going to get better any time soon. Some people will think that this blog entry means I’m back and feeling better. No, I’m not. I’m just trying to get rid of the ridiculous shit that’s cluttering up my mind right now so that I CAN think clearly.
***Soon, like, maybe less than a month, I’ll have my new home. And because I’m feeling so shitty lately, I’ll be going home and staying indoors when I’m not at work. I’ve decided that I’ll buy a WiiFit and pair that up with my Chico Metrics and I’ll be looking smoking in about a month as I’m totally reshaped and gain strength and then, I’ll try to find some “beginner for old asses” martial arts class because I think there may be a time in my future when that will come in very handy.
***I also need to get to the gun show in January and purchase what I can before that asshole who got elected is sworn in and fucks this country up.
***I really hate this time of year. Really, really hate it. You know why? Jealousy. Plain and simple. This time of year makes me pretty angry actually and when it gets topped off with a bunch of assholes doing asshole things, it’s not a good recipe for Christmas cheer. But despite how I feel about this time of year, you can bite my non existent prick if you think I’m going to say, “happy holidays” so as not to offend you. It’s fucking Christmas time. Suck it.
***You know what else blows? There’s so much I haven’t done that I thought I would have done by now. And there’s so much that I wanted to do that I no longer have any desire for at all, anymore. Let me give you an example: When I was younger, I wanted to act. I didn’t want it for fame, I wanted it because I enjoyed it and it was easy for me and hell, they want to give large sums of money for what I considered playing. Spare me the “long hours” bullshit. I’ve done that anyway for FAR less pay. But now, since I’ve been working where I’ve been working? I realize, I don’t want that anymore because if you ARE good, you will get fame and I don’t want fame. I’m not comparing myself to any celebrity but I have to tell you, where we work, we get a small dose of what it must be like to be a celebrity. My photo is constantly being taken without my consent and many times I’m asked to take a photo with the people. I can’t eat my fucking lunch in peace because someone always wants to come up and start talking to me and asking me all sorts of questions about what we do and how long have I worked there and taking photos of me eating for Christ’s sake, I’m not making that up. There’s no place to hide when you just want a moment of peace to yourself. You’re always being stared at. Sometimes I have people telling me that they’ve been on my tour before and they are here to take my tour again. That may sound cool but seriously, it’s kind of weird. Uh....you came back and brought your friends to see me? They want to buy my uniform, they want to know where I live, they want to know all kinds of personal information about me. The fuck with that? And the gossip rag? Well, I may not appear on some trash magazine cover but I sure get trashed, all of us do in some way, by our fucking co-workers..some of them, that have nothing better to do than make shit up and start shit and I can see why celebrities get tired of it. The difference? I’m not being paid hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars to put up with this shit. So, no, as much as I like acting and being on stage, screw that. I’ll take the anonymity of a blog..what little of it there may be.
***I’m thinking of getting another tattoo. I have pretty much designed what I want...it’s not completely done but it’s almost there and I will think about it for a little bit longer but I think I will get it. I have one already and it has some meaning but this one? This one will have a lot of meaning. A lot.
***Sometimes I wish I was a drug addict so that I wouldn’t feel anymore, either. Luckily for me, pot gives me a head ache, I hate needles and I can’t stand the smell of coke. So much for that idea. I could be an alcoholic but I don’t like the taste of beer THAT much.
***Ever wonder why you’re here? I wonder that every day. What the hell is my purpose, already?
***I think one day I’ll move the hell away from people. I hate having neighbors. Since I can’t burn all their houses down, I guess I’ll have to find some land where the nearest person is no less than one mile away from me. Wish I could find that near the ocean. That would be the best.
***As each year passes, I realize how much I despise most people. They are like maniacal monkeys in a zoo. I think that people should have someone follow them around with an undercover camera for like a month and then play it back to them so that they can see, for themselves, just what twats they act like. Maybe they’ll be embarrassed enough at their own actions to stop acting like total dick holes. No, don’t tell me that most wouldn’t care, let me have my fantasy. Call it a Christmas present from you to me.
***When I see commercials like that one from the ASPCA with Sarah McLauchlin or however the hell you spell her name, I hate people even more. What is sickening is that I see dogs and cats abandoned here and on the side of the road only to be hit by a car later because people are pole smokers. If you don’t want your animal, take it to the Humane Society you pieces of shit! That is a life that trusted you and you did that to it? You deserve a place in hell. Fuck you if you do that. Fuck you all the way to hell.
***That clears up some of the space for now. There’s more but my mind is so crammed full of shit that when I logged on to my publishing tool, I actually wrote in “random” instead of my name to get in. Yeah, I need a break.
Ciao kids.
