Monday, January 05, 2009
Click, The Light Came On (Updated)
Dudes, I’ve been doing this all wrong all these years. I’ve been writing posts, randomly, talking about people’s shitty asshole behaviors when what I should have done is organize them in to a category called, “Why You Are An Asshole”. Week after week I could write a nice long post on the topic of assholery instead of letting it build up inside me to the point I explode and come on here like a raging lunatic. Goddamn I can be slow as shit sometimes.
So, kids, that is what I plan to do. I don’t know if it will be a weekly thing or a daily thing because, frankly, there are a lot of assholes out there, I meet them all and there are a lot of asshole behaviors. My best friend in the world tells me that I have the worst luck in the world despite the big heart I have, (fuckers, I do, it’s not something I always admit because of that whole defense mechanism I have built up over the years-and I guess some of you have built up some sort of thick skin and nothing bothers you, how wonderful for you not to give a shit anymore but yah, so what, I have a big heart and people like to stomp on that because they are pricks. Boo for me, right? Who cares, right? So fucking what. I guess it makes them feel powerful or better about themselves, who knows but yah, that’s what it is.)
So, that’s what I’ll be doing. I’ll be discussing the topic of why you are an asshole with a different subject every post to explain why the behaviors you have and act out make you a dickheaded cocksmoking asshole.
Because I’m still defensive and even though I do lash out at people in real life and let them know what pole suckers I think they are, I don’t always do it in a well thought out way. Writing is the avenue to allow me to do that. Mother fucker why didn’t I think of this earlier? Categorize it, make it a regular feature and BAM! Maybe if I write it the right way, with a little snark and a little humor, I’ll grow from it and better stand up for myself in the real world.
Most people seem to want girls to be serene and quiet and giggly and happy all the time and get all intimidated when one calls them on their shit. I know this. I experience this all the time. It really, REALLY bothers them that I don’t fit the little description of what they think a girl should be...a slut and for them to fuck and nothing more. “Make my dinner, dress like a whore, never complain and give me head when I want it.”
Well, fuck you.
And to the girls, stop being such drama queens with your sense of entitlement and feelings of mediocrity when another girl doesn’t follow that pattern. No need for jealousy, don’t get all up in my face because I speak my mind like you can’t. I have a mind, I will speak it and I know I’m worth more than the way I look.
It isn’t man bashing, it isn’t girl bashing....it’s human shit hole behavior bashing. I’ve had it. I’m sick of the bullshit and the games. I’ve got that big heart, I’ve been tromped on and allowed it and now it’s time for me to say a thing or two about the shit fucking behavior I’ve been dealing with from people I’ve met in this world. Being quiet about it does nothing for me. Censoring myself does nothing for me. (You all have NO idea how much I censor myself.) I’ve been accused of having candor despite all the self censoring I do.....hell, kids, you’ve seen nothing.
With the recent events in my life, I’ve been pushed to the limit. More than many of you could possibly comprehend. I don’t know if it will ever turn in my favor. I hope it does but I don’t know. I hope it’s just a test but I don’t know. I could lose out because of assholes and since I’ve had my quota of assholes, since this latest bullshit has been too much, gone too far and really, seriously fucking hurt some people, badly, very badly, I’ve decided I’m not going to take it anymore and I will say whatever the hell.
If you see yourself reflected in what I write, oh well. Maybe you can stop being an asshole and consider what your actions do to other people and stop being such selfish fucking pricks.
I’ll start off slowly, we’ll all laugh at how we can relate and then I’ll move on to some deeper shit and that’s when people will start to get offended. Oh fucking well.
Like I said, no one in this world can hurt me the way I’ve been hurt recently. No one. I’ll never forget it for the rest of my life. So now, it’s time for me to stand up and say, “Fuck you assholes. And here’s what makes you an asshole. Suck a rotten one if you don’t like what you see. Look in the mirror, dick, and don’t blame me for your shitty asshole character.”
I said it before and I say it again, I’m writing for me now.
[updated] I was too tired to finish this post last night but I’m finishing it now. Anyway, I thought I’d get started on my “Why You Are An Asshole” series with an easy one. Over the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve received countless comments or unwanted email from some twat that comes along and reads one entry or two and writes in some smart ass comment about the name of this blog and how it doesn’t fit me because I’m not “being serene” in my writing.
Let me tell you douchebags that can’t stop making fools of yourselves by saying such things: This blog is named after my cat. See that little white feline in the header? That’s my cat. Her name is Serenity. And when I got started on this whole blog thing, I didn’t care to spend a whole lot of time coming up with some name for my place, I just wanted to start writing. I didn’t spend hours upon hours thinking of some clever little title or phrase because I don’t really give a shit about the title of someone’s blog. I care about what’s in it. You could have a blog or journal called, “I’m An Asshole Because I Think I’m Witty” for all I care because the title of your site is not what brings me there. Same goes for me. Who cares what this is called? It’s just a name to get set up so I can get to the meat of it all.
I go by the moniker Serenity because fuck it, that’s the name of the place, why pick something else and also because hell no I don’t use my real name. And the last time I checked, it is not listed under “WhoIs” although that may have changed...I don’t know, I don’t bother to check those types of things out because I have better shit to do than find the real name of the writer behind the blog or journal. Who gives a shit who they are. I am sure that people can find me out if they do a little research as some have found me in the past but that was kind of the point of not putting my real name here...I don’t WANT people from the past to contact me. Your ass is in the past, stay there. And most of the people I know today are total morons and don’t have the skills to find me or my site so why make it easy on them by calling this by my real name or using my real name?
I don’t agree with some hoity toity pricks out there who think that not using your real name means anything you say is worthless because you’re “hiding”. I think that’s the stupidest argument I’ve ever heard. Many people use a handle for the feeling, if nothing else, of anonymity. Haven’t you ever heard or noticed that it’s so much easier to talk to strangers than it is to people you know? That’s a universal thing and if people want to use a handle, who cares? Let them and get off your high horse about it. Better yet, once you’ve fallen off your high horse and hopefully landed on your face, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go out in to the real world instead of sitting at your keyboard writing snarky comments about someone’s supposed demeanor based on the name of their blog or journal.
This is a place for me to vent, not talk about waterfalls, daffodils and fluffy bunnies; things most consider serene. Who the fuck wants to read about that? I’d rather enjoy that kind of stuff, not read someone’s writing about it. I want to see what makes people click or get through life, I want to know the inner workings of who they are; the amount that they do reveal on their sites. I don’t want some candy coated crap about how wonderful everything is in life because that’s a bunch of bullshit and it’s fake. There’s enough fake shit in this world as it is, we deal with it every day in our daily lives...I want to come home and read about what makes a person really tick, or get ticked off. It helps to understand people in general and in a general sense. It helps people, sometimes, to better understand themselves.
I don’t claim to actually help anyone with this site except myself. And I’ve never called myself “serene” or claimed that this blog was about “serene” thoughts. There is no false advertising, the cat is right there, at the top of the page, for all to see.
So don’t be an asshole by wasting your time and mine writing some smart aleck little comment about my state of mind. You don’t know shit about me and you’re not clever or funny. You’re an idiot. You’re an idiot asshole.
Now, then, since that is out of the way, for the 10th fucking time, we can move on to bigger and better things that make people in this world total assholes.
