When the terrorists bombed the trains in Spain, I did not blog about it.  My first thought was, “Why should I?  Everyone else already has.  What could I possibly say about it that hasn’t already been said?  I’m not going to find some missing link or evidence before anyone else, sitting way over here in TX with no fucking television and a broken ankle.” Even if I didn’t have the broken ankle and I did have a t.v., I’m still not going to be privvy to any information before a paid reporter.

So I decided not to blog about it.  And then I felt guilty for not doing so.  Almost like I was spitting on the graves of the citizens who died...not recognizing them publicly.  I thought long and hard about what to talk about that day so as not to appear insensitive and without repeating the other 5000 bloggers who had already written about it.

The recent killing of the contractors in Fallujah and the way some of the citizens treated their corpses angered me more than I have been in a long, long time.  I was so pissed off, I could actually feel my blood pressure rise, feel my heart palpitate because all I wanted was their blood.  I wanted to go over there and string those bastards up and torture them until they screamed and begged and pleaded for me to end their lives.  And then I’d have the pleasure of telling them to go fuck themselves nice and raw and torture them some more.  “You think that shit is funny?  What the fuck is the matter with you?  You fucking piles of shit have some serious fucking mental problems!  Fuck you AND your fucking new found freedom.  Fuck you all!” There were moments that I wanted to join up on the bandwagon and cry, “Level the whole fucking place!  Fuck!  Them!” but that isn’t the answer.  And again, what could I possibly say that 5000 other bloggers hadn’t already written?

So I didn’t blog about it either.  And I felt a little guilty.  As if I had spit on the graves of those who were killed.  How DARE I think of anything else but them all day long.  How DARE I even consider writing about something that happened in my daily existance....something that has absolutely nothing to do with war, politics or anything even remotely earth shattering.

The news is stressing me out.  The bickering from both sides is stressing me out.  The lies and conspiracy theories and piss poor attitudes from those who don’t agree is stressing me out.  The 300 *&$#@!!!! spam emails for V.iag.ra I get on a daily basis is stressing me out.  People’s extremely rude behaviors are stressing me out.  Lack of manners, looking like sloppy, spoiled brats, smart mouths, bad attitudes, selfishness, back stabbing, insensitivities, lack of empathy anc compassion as well as those who try so hard to impress everyone with their “knowledge” and throw around big words and big authors and boasting and self proclaimed intelligence in an effort to show the world, “Look how smart I am!  I’ve read him and him and him and him and him and him and him and her and him and him and her and her and her and I wrote my doctorate thesis on this and this and I have a degree in this and that and as I embrace school so much, I’m going to attend it for 30 more years so that I can continue to shove it in your face what you haven’t learned and what I have!  Look at me!” is stressing me out.

Whoop-de-fucking-doo.  So you’ve read some books.  This does not make someone any more intelligent than the next guy.  I’ve been around extremely “book smart” people and they can recite and recite all they want, other people’s words but they can’t find their way out of a wet paper sack if their lives depended on it.

I haven’t attended 10 years of college and I don’t have a PhD and I don’t intend on ever getting one.  I don’t intend on allowing a writer to do my thinking for me.  I don’t intend to regurgitate quote after quote in every damn discussion so that people will think I’m smarter than they are.

To those who do this:  I’m not fucking impressed.

I’m more impressed by those who have gone through the wringer, been to hell and back, know what it means when one says, “ the shit hit the fan.” I’m more impressed by those who have daily struggles and overcome them each and everyday.  I’m even more impressed by the ones who do this with class because I can assure you, it might make one a strong person to get up every day and face the music but to do it with class?  I can’t do that.  I wish I could.  Some people can and I am in awe of them.

I would rather make that my goal than try to impress the socks off of anyone I come in contact with by stating, “I went to Uof(Wherever) for 13 whole years and I’ve read every single book that has ever been printed!”

I’m tired of politics.  I’m tired of uppity bloggers.  I’m tired of snotty commenters.  I’m tired of people telling me I curse too much.  It’s part of my fucking charm...get used to it.  I’m tired of people reading this site and never saying anything.  I’m tired of performing for an empty theatre.  I’m pretty much tired of blogging. 

I also know there are some out there who have a slimy little smirk across their face right now thinking I’m about to say, “I’m shutting it down.” and when I write, I’m NOT shutting it down, they are going to be upset.  Screw you. 

I’m not shutting it down.  I’m not going on hiatus.  I’m just not into writing about politics very much, if at all, anymore.  I said this a few months back and I’m saying it again:

No one is listening.  Everyone is stubborn and set in their thoughts and not one damn person seems willing to listen so fuck it.  When I see facts all over the news that smash apart these ridiculous conspiracy theories that have been around...and this by a biased media...and then I go to someone’s blog and see them write that Bush is getting caught in a million lies....I fucking give up.  I am not a teacher.  I cannot teach the masses reading comprehension.  I cannot change a closed mind.

For the liberals who read this site:  Before you start in, I will add there are two causes that I agree wholeheartedly with you about, I’ve just rarely ever mentioned them.  The reason for that is because it’s just too easy to rile you up by pretending to be a full on hard right winger.  You would be surprised, I think, at the two causes I agree with you on.  I’ve never lied about them...I just hardly ever bring them up.

So.  Enough.  I’m gonna write personal stuff.  My personal experiences, my personal observations, my personal hopes, dreams and wishes.  And according to some stuck up bloggers, that means this will no longer be a blog.  I could give a shit about your definition.  Just because it isn’t about politics doesn’t mean it isn’t a blog.

It was difficult for me to come to this decision and I gave it a valiant effort in this past week or so to keep political blogging because again, I felt that if I wrote about “trivial” stuff while people were out there fighting for my freedom and dying, that I was being dishonorable to them.

Then it occurred to me.  Those people are out there fighting and dying so that I can sit here and type out the trivial stuff.  I know not one of them wants me to sit here and be angry or upset at the news all the time.  They aren’t putting their lives on the line for me to be angry.  They are putting their lives on the line so that I can be happy.

And that’s what I’m going to be and the first thing I need to do in order to do that is to stop talking about politics.  It drives me fucking nuts.

If you all leave in droves....so be it.  I am a Republican/Libertarian, I will always be this way.  I will always back our soldiers 100% and mourn quietly when they are killed or when they die.  I will always love this country no matter how many fucking assholes live here.  I will always show respect to the president no matter how much I may dislike him....or her...who knows what the future brings.  But I’m fucking tired of talking about it.