Tuesday, September 02, 2003
Enough With the Paooki!
In just about a week, I’m outta here! I cannot wait! Last night I went to throw the dog outside when I just so happened to look up.
Guess. what. I. saw.
ANOTHER car sized paook, plotting, waiting to come and carry me off. I almost began sobbing.
My heart can’t take this.
This one was almost identical to the one from the other day only it was thicker and it had made its way to the kitchen....evidence that it was on its way to eat me!
I had just finished reading Beer Mary’s trackbacked post on this so I had some fresh ideas. (Literally, I read her post and got up to let the dog out when I finished.)
So, Beer Mary, I would like to thank you for your list of household cleaners to use instead of RAID. I chose Lysol’s Foaming Basin, Tub and Tile Cleaner this time. Once again, I had to climb upon a bar stool and get near it......eeeeeeeeesh...but I sprayed it ONCE and it flew to the floor! In my head I cheered, “Thank you Beer Mary...Oh bless you!” as I ran towards it to squish it.
One note of warning: When spraying over the linoleum floor, remember: Slippery When Wet. I went to STOMP this thing into oblivion and slipped, almost falling upon its broken carcass. I think I pulled a muscle trying to avoid this terror inducing event.
I would also like to thank George Turner (my guest blogger) for being up and willing to talk me down over IM. Poor George. There I was, shaking and holding myself in a ball, rocking back and forth, giving him updates on my accomplishments. (You think I just kill it and scoop it up?....Silly, silly reader! These events take at least 20 minutes of whining, crying, clutching of the heart, knees locking up, light headedness as I forget to breathe...and that’s just when I’ve seen it. We haven’t even reached the point of working up the nerve to kill it. Then I have to run away and freak out for a good 5 minutes, slapping at anything that touches me like a fricken lunatic before I can work the courage up to actually pick it up! Geez, who do you think you’re talking to?)
I did find the source and I’m hoping that this will be the end of these damn things. There was a window open in that back bedroom. A window that is being brushed up against by a very large plant. Where bugs live. Where paooki go to dine. Which would be fine if they would STAY OUT THERE and leave me alone. So, the window is now closed.
For those of you wishing to keep count: That is three, yes THREE of the mountain sized paooki that have entered my home within the past two weeks and I’ve had several smaller ones flitter across my ceiling. In addition, I’ve had the distinct pleasure of coming across many a dried and crumpled paook body while I’ve been packing. So--all you macho talkers in comments below...I don’t want to hear it. I have literally lived a nightmare.
