Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Got A Smoke?
It’s the little things people do that tell so much. I’ve been an extremely observant person my entire life. I can tell quite a bit about a person in a very short amount of time based on their actions and sometimes their words. Granted, when I was younger I pushed what I knew to the side thinking I wasn’t giving people enough of a chance and it got me one hell of a load of lessons. The biggest lesson was that, “the little things people do or say can tell you so much about them and don’t ignore nor deny that any longer.”
Some of the more obvious ones:
If we’re sitting around a table and you ignore me, refuse to make eye contact with me, refuse to even acknowledge my presence, I get the message. When the only time you look at me or say word one to me is when we are out in the parking lot saying our good-byes, and then and only then do you get a smile on your face and look my way, trust me, I get the message. I just wish you didn’t have to be so rude about it.
If you write me an email telling me not to worry about something, most especially when I wasn’t, it tells me a lot about how you handle situations like this. It tells me that you were worried or think it’s a big deal or have let it bother you. It is not your life, it is my life and you need not worry about this particular part of it. I would certainly hope you had more faith and trust in me than to think I would let it become a problem between you and me.
When you are asking me for something, a means to meet someone else, please think about what you are saying before you say it because you come across as the most selfish person I’ve talked to in a very long time. It’s blaringly obvious what your questions are leading to and it’s the height of bad taste and manners....it shows absolutely zero class to ask me to ask others to appease you.
If, every time I relay some fact or information and you give me “that” look or make some wise ass comment or tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about....every, single time, it tells me not only what you truly think of me but it also tells me you have a very closed mind. The only person you’re fooling is yourself.
Once again, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat the waitstaff in a restaurant.
If we are standing in a store which has a wall of cigarettes behind the till, the last thing you want to do is ask me for a cigarette because I will go off. If you are at a bus stop, waiting, I might understand and give you that smoke. If you are standing outside on break at work and tell me you don’t want to go back to your desk, where you just came from, to get a smoke, that’s just as bad as asking me for one inside a store that sells cigarettes. I am not going to support your habit because you are too lazy, too cheap or you think I’m too scared of you or you think that because I’m a girl, I’ll just give in to your request.
Same goes with the loose change. You think I like where I’m working? I have worked my ass off for that money and the last thing I’m going to do is hand it over to your lazy, sidewalk sitting ass. Especially when your mommy and daddy bought you the clothes you are wearing and they are in much better condition than mine. Piss off.
There are a lot of very thoughtless, careless people out there who will make numerous attempts to lie to you and even themselves to make themselves feel better, to make themselves feel as if they are trying to be understanding or empathetic but the more one tries to disguise it, the more obvious it is. Your actions, your words: the way you carry yourself, conduct yourself, speak, timing, gestures, things you say, things you do, eye movements, mouth, head, face, body language...it all says so very much about you. It can be a little harder to pick up electronically....email, IM, etc. But it all eventually comes out because when people are selfish and rude by nature, they can’t hide it forever.
