Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I Have To Do This...
Apparently Esquire Magazine Online has some Brutually Honest Personals. Now this is right up my alley. Honesty! It feels really good to read some G-d to honest admissions for a change. Sheila O' Malley (She has red hair too...do ya get the feelin' she might be Irish? Nah. Me neither.) started this whole thing but I'm gonna take my comment from her site and continue her idea over here...because damnit. I need to laugh. Oh sure, I can visit her site all day long but hey, nothing like spreading a good idea around, no?So, her idea is to add your very own personal and brutually honest personel ad in comments. I think that is a damn fine idea. I dare you. In fact, I triple dog dare you. Don't be chicken.
Here, babies, I'll start with my own:
I'm not really a bitch, I just play one on my blog. But that's part of my defense mechanism. Hope you like climbing and picking locks because I have one hell of a fortress built around me. Oh, don't mind the alligators in the moat either.
People say I'm moody but really it's because I get over a lot of things rather quickly...especially if I'm at fault. However, if you wrong me, I will never forget it. In fact, I will compile a list of everything you have ever done or said to me that even remotely hurt my feelings and analyze it to death when you're not around.
I am a neat freak and despite the fact that I know people are different, I may/more than likely will..okay, will take your messiness as a personal insult, once again, analyzing it to death to mean that you don't really like me afterall since you don't make the effort to do simple things like clean up after yourself in order to make me happy.
If something is bothering me, I want you to notice and I want you to ask me what is wrong no less than three times. Whether it's true or not, it makes me believe you really want to listen to me.
Sometimes I'm the most shallow person I know. Sometimes I'm the pickiest person I know. Sometimes I'm the most impatient person I know in certain situations.
But I have a huge heart, am very loyal and respectful. Shower me with affection, admiration; cherish, adore, honor, admire and love me--I see nothing wrong with making me number one in your life.
I'm like a lion. Hell, just look up Leo. That is me to a tee---the good and the bad. Consider all my faults precious and you will find yourself greatly rewarded.
OH, I cuss a lot too.
See? That wasn't so hard. Now get to admitting people! Oh, and I'll beat the married people to the punch....just go along with it. OKAY?!
