Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I Need Your Halp
Hai. I am here to plead for your assistance. The human has finally left this computer to go lie down in bed and eat cookies dipped in milk while watching horrendously bad television. I’m not sure yet if that is cool or disgusting merely because she won’t share the milk. How rude!
Anyway, I need to tell you how I got here in the first place. There I was, minding my own business, waltzing around in the Everglades being all cute and kitteny and everything. One morning I saw this human standing outside so I decided to gallop over to her and allow her to pet my luxurious coat. (Don’t be jealous, I can only be in so many places at once and since none of you were around, she got the honor.) Then she went inside a building and brought some food out to me because I kept talking to her. I was hungry so I gulped that food down, still talking to her while doing so. I know you aren’t supposed to talk with your mouth full but I guess she found it endearing and kept petting me so I kept talking while eating. “Num, num, num, neow, mow, num, meow, num...” You get the idea. She’s kind of a sucker which is why I ran over to her in the first place. I could tell.
Well, next thing I know, she left for a long time. Hours! She left me. Unbelievable. But, I waited, by her vehicle, patiently. Finally she stopped being selfish and came back out of the building towards me again. She petted me again while I talked to her and, as I knew would happen, she brought me more food.
Then. THEN! The next thing I know, I’m in the air. My feet were not touching the ground. I didn’t like that one little bit and began to struggle but the human pulled me close to her and actually that was really a nice feeling. She walked me to another building and put me inside. I ran back to the entry way but it was sealed shut. Eventually I decided to explore my surroundings and found a square that I had to jump up to but it was really soft and smelled like lavender. The human came over, carrying a small white tube and squirted the contents on the back of my neck stating something about how I now had the Advantage against fleas. I was not amused and hissed at her! Hmph! The indignity! But, after that, I forgave her and then I curled up and slept most of the night, the human crawling in next to me at one point.
When the sun started to come up I jumped off the comfortable square and began demanding my release. The human and another just like me came over to investigate the racket I was making. The other who looks kind of like me but is really, really white, hissed at me a little bit as if it were my fault I was here. So I hissed back. The human made this weird sound...kind of like chirping and purring mixed together. And she was smiling. I think she thought the whole thing was funny. Well, I did not. I just wanted my freedom back. She unsealed the cave and I dashed out the door.
I made it a few steps before I started to feel bad so I stopped and looked back at the human. I realized that she was carrying something. She set it down under my nose and glorious! It was more food! I ate it all up and allowed her to pet me some more before taking a few more steps back out in to the wilderness. The human went back in to the cave, came out a little later and the next thing I know, she was gone for hours again.
I decided I wanted to go exploring so off I went but I did come back later on when it started to get really hot and laid underneath her vehicle again. Sure enough, some time later she appeared and we repeated the entire events of the previous day.
This went on for about 5 days and we were establishing our rules with each other until one day, two days ago, she broke all the rules. See, she appeared again in the late afternoon, wooed me with food yet again but see I was on to her by this time. I let her pet me if she was away from her vehicle but would not let her touch me if she was near it. I knew what was coming if I allowed that. But she outsmarted me again and again my feet left the ground and I was inside her cave yet again.
I thought it was protocol until the light of the day came and she did not let me out. She kept saying things like, “danger” and “stormy” and “drenched kitty” and “no” and things of that nature. She did not. let me out. the entire. day! I was mixed about this. Part of the time I sat at the entrance to the cave and scratched and carried on and other times I slept on that comfortable square. Plus, some time later, I heard a lot of loud booms and saw flashes of light and the building was shaking with the force of it all and I crammed myself underneath that square where the other one who looks kind of like me but is really, really white was also hiding. She can hiss at me all she wants, I don’t want anything to do with those loud booming sounds. That was scary! And I kind of liked human for keeping me there. I could have been outside in that!
Today, the sun came up and again she did not let me out. Again she mentioned “stormy” and “danger” and “drenched kitty” and “no” and I felt like I was having a deja vu. She left for a little bit of time leaving me with the one who looks kind of like me but is really, really white who has decided that hissing at me bores her now and pretty much leaves me alone anymore.
And that’s where we are currently. Just before the human went to the comfortable square to eat cookies drenched in milk that she’s not sharing, she said, “You may as well get comfortable here since you are now a permanent member of this family.”
I guess I can get used to that but what I cannot get used to is her calling me “stray kid”. As in, “Hey, Stray Kid! Whatcha doin’?” Or, “No, Stray Kid, you gotta stay inside! No drenched kitties!” Or, “Come here, Stray Kid, come on!”
Stray Kid. As if! So this is why I’m calling on all of you to help me. I need a name. I would like a much better name than “Stray Kid”. If you think you have a good name for me, please tell me. Make it a good one because I’m very cute, very affectionate and very small. I think I’m only 9 or 10 months old...I forget. Please, humans, please give me a really great name.
Oop! She just turned over on the square and is looking at me. I better go. Here, this is another photo of me if it will help you think of a name for me.
Ok, I gotta go...now she’s calling to me....
kthxbye!
