Monday, June 07, 2004
I'm No Garden Guide
Why do I keep getting hits from “gardenguide.com” ?
To those who land here from that site:
I have no tips for you. I know nothing about gardening. I kill plastic plants!
I’m the kind that says, “Ooooh! Those are pretty! How lucky for me they are growing in the garden! What are they?”
Wise Gardening Neighbor: “Those are weeds.”
~or~
‘Eew! What an ugly, hideous weed! I’m gonna yank that sucka outta the ground right now! Die weed die!”
Wise Gardening Neighbor: “That’s not a weed.”
I find nothing relaxing about gardening for the simple fact that there are paooki out there. I know nothing about annuals or semi annuals or perinneals or if I just repeated myself...I have no idea. I know nothing about which ones go in the shade and which ones love the hot sun. I have no idea which ones bulb and which ones you have to replant every year.....or if those are the same thing.
So, please, visitors from gardenguide.com....do yourself a favor....don’t look here for advice. I’ll only give you a black thumb of death. That’s right, I’m like evil plant Midas....whenever I touch a plant, it dies.
You have been warned.
That’s it for today kiddies. I’m just exhausted.
