Friday, November 28, 2008
Inner Bitch
As I’ve gone through life, I’ve thought that I’ve been pushed to the extreme a few times and I’ve always said, “That’s it! Now you will see my inner bitch. Fuckers!”
I never realized that I had never actually been pushed too far until now. I have now been pushed too far and it is taking absolutely everything in my power not to fucking crack people’s teeth in at the gum line. Seriously. I am that far fucking pushed.
I have had way too many people in this fucking world try to tell me how to be, how to dress, how to act, how to talk, how to whatever and I’ve always been patient, for the most part, maybe losing my cool a time or two but I’ve ALWAYS let those mother fuckers get the best of me. Always. Recently, I’ve been put through the worst mother fucking wringer I’ve ever been put through and I’m so fucking done. A friend of mine told me not to let them get the best of me. Not to let them dictate who I am, where I go, when I go, what I do, just be cool, don’t let them fucking dictate anything, have no fucking control over me.
That’s so damn easy to say, isn’t it? When you are a single girl, don’t have a shit load of money, sometimes, you allow others TO control you because they can really fuck your life over and make shit totally miserable for you. And I’m really sick of people saying, “Do what you gotta do, don’t let them get the best of you, don’t let them control you” as if it’s always that fucking easy.
Sometimes these assholes have a say in your job or a say in where you live. Sometimes these assholes can make your life a living fucking hell on a daily fucking basis because they run their mother fucking mouths on a constant basis and they can do a LOT of damage with that fucking mouth.
I don’t start shit with people but for some unknown mother fucking reason, people LOVE to start shit with me and I’m fucking OVER this shit now.
I’ve been listening. It’s not that easy but I’ve been listening and now? Now, these cock smoking pieces of fucking shit are going to see just how mother fucking bitchy I can be. And it’s not that I’m going to BE rude or nasty, I’m going to be a fucking bitch by doing a few things.
The first thing I’m going to do is make an overhaul in my appearance. Talk about that, fuck weasels. Then? I’m going to LAUGH IN THEIR FUCKING FACES EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT I CAN because I just realized today, it bugs the SHIT out of them. It irritates some people that no matter HOW fucking hard they try to fuck things up for me, when I’m laughing my ass off, they get ALL kinds of bent the fuck out of shape. So, now that I see that actually works, I’m going to KEEP fucking doing it. Because there isn’t a damn thing they can do about it. Oh, they can look me up and down sideways and sigh and shake their heads in disgust but they can’t SAY SHIT and it riles them up. So, as I was advised today, even if it KILLS ME, I will continue to do it. They hate it with the hot fire of a thousand suns and it’s about time they get some of that fucking shit to digest in their own miserable, pathetic fucking shit hole, empty lives.
You do not control me, assholes. You want to try to get me fired? You want to try to fuck my place to live? Bitches, I’ve been through WAY the fuck worse than you piles of pole suckers can ever comprehend so suck it.
And let me remind you of something, kids: If your shit is stench ridden, if your bath water isn’t clean, if you have skeletons POURING out of your closets, you BEST watch who the fuck you try to mess with. Because I am NOT afraid to reveal it all in front of everyone. I do indeed have patience and I do indeed have a good memory and while I may not give two flying shit what the hell you do with your life, people love to fucking tell me anyway and I remember every fucking thing I’ve been told. And if you push me, I will fucking reveal all. So, watch your fucking shit before you start flinging shit towards me.
Glass houses, bitches.
To those of you who know me, there is so damn much that I cannot tell you, ever tell you and I don’t want you asking me in email what is going on because I will not tell you. Just know, I am now, officially, at the end of that rope and I will fight, tooth and fucking nail, to climb back up, no matter WHO the fuck gets hurt in the process.
I’ve finished it before, you know this if you know me, and I will totally fucking finish it this time around. Worse than any of these piles of shit have ever witnessed before.
This time, more than ever, I have been pushed WAY too far and I will not let it slide.
And you know what? I’m not particularly interested in anyone’s bullshit unicorn and lollipop version of how to handle it. And I really don’t give a fuck for any, “Amen”, either. And I’m especially not interested in some long winded bullshit from some faggot who thinks they know me just by the words they read here and wants to give me a 10 page fucking missive on how I should calm down and stop being so hateful and spoiled and just deal with life cause it ain’t fair. I will embarrass the FUCK out of you if you do that.
This time? I’m not writing for any of you. I’m writing for me. And if that alienates you, I just don’t really give a shit.
This is what it looks like when you push someone over the edge. Deal with it, don’t deal with it, cry about it, piss and moan about, cheer about it, throw up over it, I don’t give a flying fucking shit what the fuck you do with it.
From now on, I’m in charge.
Piss off.
Karma’s a bitch but I’m a bigger bitch.
