Thursday, November 15, 2007
Instant Karma
This is what we here in these parts call immediate justice:
Alligator Solves Crime Problem Instantaneously
SWEETWATER, Fla. — A man was killed by an alligator on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation in Miami-Dade County, Local10.com reported.
The man, who has not been identified, was running from Miccosukee police when he dove into a retention pond, Local10.com reported. There, he was reportedly attacked by the gator and bitten several times.
The man was suspected of breaking into cars with another suspect on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation, Local6.com reported. One was quickly captured.
The man’s body was found at the bottom of the pond Friday. The man was bitten on the head several times, Local10.com reported. The gator was later trapped.
This happened just 6 miles away from where I work. As the story states above, dipshit was in the casino parking lot, breaking in to cars and was caught. He tried to run off to escape his punishment, decided it would be a brilliant idea to go hide in the canal and dumbass jumped in RIGHT next to a gator. At night time. Genius!
Needless to say, he is dead. And frankly, he got what was coming to him. Oh, yes, I’m sure some bleeding heart out there will tell me that death by gator is not the price to pay for a small, petty crime like breaking in to cars but you know what? Screw that. He was an idiot and that’s one less douche bag I have to pay for while he sits in jail.
His sister was interviewed on t.v. trying to pull heart strings talking about how he was homeless and blah blah blah. I don’t give a shit if he was homeless, I’ve been homeless and I didn’t steal shit from people. Second, if his sister cared so damn much about him, then why didn’t she help him out so that he wouldn’t have to break in to other people’s property? Hmmm...maybe because she knows, just like the rest of us do now, that he was a useless tool shed.
What pisses me off the most about this story is that the gator was trapped. Why? Gator was minding his own business and being a gator. If you don’t want to be attacked by an alligator, you don’t fricken go in the water where the alligator lives. Pretty plain and simple. The gator does not need to be trapped, taken away and/or killed. So, the fact that not only did tweedle twit fuck with random strangers because he’s too lazy to get a job and support himself, he fucked with an innocent alligator and that is why I don’t give a flying crap that he’s now gone.
Is this a candidate for a Darwin award? It’s not like it’s unknown there are gators in the fricken Everglades. Whatever, good riddance. I hope it hurt. And I sincerely hope his last thoughts were, “Wow! I’m a fucking moron!”
