Monday, July 05, 2004
Like Walking On Air
I am not your stereotypical female in that I hate shopping and spending my money. (Exceptions are, of course, buying a new car, electronics, computer stores and book stores. Oh, and I love to dress up really nice and go to those open houses where really expensive homes are on sale, just so I can see how the other half lives. Coincidentally, real estate agents are about the only breed of salesmen who do not look down their noses at me if they think I’m out of my element. They are happy to show me around even when I’m honest and upfront and tell them that I’m there only to look and admire. Sometimes I tell them, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I dress up, sometimes I don’t. And not once have they treated me as if I was wasting their time. Says a lot about them I think.)
Anyway, major digression there. So, I do not like going shopping. What I despise even worse is going to the mall! (Insert impending sense of doom music here.)
Unfortunately, because I am on my feet all day and because my ankle is still healing, I knew that it was time to purchase a new pair of shoes. I hate this process so much that I have put this off for two months. However, I had to suck it up and go forth because the shoes I was currently wearing are actually dress shoes and they are not built for running around all day and frankly, I think they were not aiding the healing of my ankle one little bit. So, bite the bullet.
Borrow the brother’s car and drive towards, the mall, (don’t forget the music), with an immense sense of dread. “I hate this. I truly totally hate this. Oh G-d this sucks. Sigh.”, I recited the entire way. I get to the parking lot and look at the evil, looming buildings around me, beckoning me, “Come in! Lose your money! Become annoyed! Join us! Do!” I mustered up whatever strength and courage I had left and walked in with a determined look upon my face. “I will survive this. I will!”
Get inside, find the directory, “Where’s PayLess Shoes?” Find it, and make a beeline for the store. I find the aisle with my size and am immediately beaten down. All I see are miles and miles of sandals. “L-rd save me, this is going to take all fricken day! I hate this!” I fought back the hysterical sobbing that threatened to take over and went forward.
Now, the type of shoes I have to get are black, (no problem with that, I love black) and slip or oil resistant. Right. Like I’m going to find that in a river of sandals. I stop at the head of the aisle and look to my left. I spot something black and non sandal like. I did not dare to get my hopes up but I peered cautiously towards them. Hmmm. They look like tennis shoes. It could be possible. I took a tentative step forward. Nope, they didn’t change, still look like the right type of shoe. I stepped in front of them and there they were, illuminated by the light of angels while a choir sounded from nowhere, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
There they are. I tried them on. They fit. Excellent. I stood up and walked around the store.
Kids, it was like walking on a cloud. I could not believe how fantastically wonderful and glorious these things felt. It’s like they were made precisely for me. And to top it off, they were cheap (sale...always a sale at PayLess), and it only took me 5 minutes to find them. The shopping gods were smiling upon me today.
I quickly ran them up to the check out counter, “You know, if you buy these you get another item half off!” chirps the salesclerk. Now, again, I hate shopping but I was in such high spirits that this had gone off so well and easily that I jovially said, “Very well then! I’ll take a packet of socks!” And there I was. The proud owner of some rather ugly shoes, (they aren’t that bad and their personality makes up for what they lack in the looks department), and a six pack of fluffy, white socks. Nice.
I headed out, towards the entrance of the mall and towards my freedom once again. However, my path took me past the bookstore.
Oops.
I found myself, against my will, steering towards the right and the next thing I know, I’m inside the store, surrounded by thousands of beautiful books. I looked ahead of me and the first thing I saw was the ugly mug of Bill Clinton. “Oy Vey!” I almost left. Seriously. But, I gathered some residual strength from my shoe shopping incident and looked beyond that hideous face to see that Stephen King, my all time favorite author ever, has a new book out in his Dark Tower Series.
Now I must be slipping because I’m usually on the waiting list for his new books, at least two to three months in advance. But there it was, a most pleasing object, staring back at me and again, I swear I heard the choir singing its praises.
Needless to say, savings be damned, this is Stephen King, I grabbed that book and dashed up to the counter. I found myself speaking to a sales clerk who knew just about as much about Mr. King as I do. Wow! We had ourselves a good chat and then I raced out of the mall of doom and towards the car.
That went well.
On the drive home, the birds were singing, the sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, animals were playing in the shade, (seriously, there were two dogs playing in the shade), and all the drivers on the road knew how the heck to drive. I think I may have just had myself a zen moment.
And here I am, home, safe and sound with some amazing shoes, (of all things!) and a lovely, gorgeous new book to plow into. This has turned out to be a fabulous day afterall. Sigh. Life is good to me sometimes.
