Thursday, July 29, 2004
Numero Uno
One. More. Time.
And then I leave that place, (work), forever! I’m so excited I can’t stand it. I had a very hard time staying there today...even had to stop and count to 5 a few times, but I made it. And now I’m down to one more time. Few things I will not miss. Crotchety Cranky Pants, (aka: Sandwich Flinger)....mother of pearl that old bag is always in a foul mood. She has come in about 5-6 times since I’ve worked there and every single time, she is scowling and all angry like. And she rather enjoys taking it out on us. Granted, she was great entertainment but I believe she may very well possibly be the angriest woman I’ve ever seen. Nope. Not gonna miss her.
I’m also not going to miss Deer In Headlight Girl. This is a co-worker of mine....she’s new. I don’t call her this to her face, of course, but the name fits. You can ask her to do something and she will stand there, frozen in one spot and I swear you can actually see her brain trying to compute what you just said. And! Oh hell is she slow. Have you ever watched a movie in extraordinarily slow motion....normally it makes you laugh? Well, that’s her normal pace and it’s not funny. Nope. Not gonna miss her.
A couple of my co-workers I will miss because of all the jobs I’ve had, I’ve never seen people bust their asses so hard like some of these guys. I wish I could bundle them up in my suitcase and bring them out as part of a package deal when I get my next job.
“Why should we hire you?”
“Because I come complete with built in co-workers, part of a set and you know how difficult it is to find a complete working set these days don’t you? Rare gems we are. I’m also willing to negotiate price.”
“You’re hired.”
I’m going to miss the amazing storms here but I’m not going to miss the filthy air. I believe I have coughed up approximately 1/3 of my lung since moving here in September. I can’t wait to breathe again.
As a pre-going away treat to myself, I went to the local fast food place and got myself something to eat. I found myself ordering a chicken sandwich and onion rings and it wasn’t until I got home that the realization hit me. Oh my G-d! I’m turning into my mother! When we were younger, the rest of the family would get the most artery clogging meals they could seize while my mother would order her light meals and dishes and Tab cola. I thought the lady was a lunatic. Did she have no idea what she was missing out on?! Why in the hell would you have chicken when you can have the side of a cow!
Anyway, I calmed myself down and told myself that maybe it was just a fluke thing, it would soon pass, no worries...the desire to take a bite directly out of a bovine would return shortly. Until I realized that I had ordered extra tomatoes. If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that I just discovered that I sorta liked tomatoes but they had to be mixed in with things. Today I craved them.
Ok, that’s a lie.
I’ve been craving them and I find that I absolutely cannot enjoy a sandwhich unless they are included. I’m now sitting in a state of horror. This is exactly what my mother used to do!
The day I find myself gulping up orange sherbert with a smile on my face is the day I take that spoon and pop my eyeballs out because that will be the final step into completely morphing into my female parental unit and after that, it’s all down hill.
Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn’t be eating while I’m typing in my blog. Note to self.
Lessee...not a lot of other interesting things have happened to me lately. Just been biding my time, suffering through my final week at work and sleeping a lot.
Oh! Here’s a question. Last week I walked outside to get a breath of fresh air and was met by an absolutely hideous site. There, on the doorframe outside was the ugliest tank looking bug I’d ever laid eyes upon. I wasn’t quite sure what it was but thought it might be a cicada. Upon further investigation, (meaning, I made my brother take care of the hideous beast), I found out it was the shedded hulk of a cicada.
I’m not sure if I should take that as a good sign or bad sign. I mean, maybe the cicada realized I’d never seen one before except in a photo and went out of its way to educate me, knowing that I kinda wanted to see one live just so I could say I had. Thoughtful cicada no?
On the other hand, those bastards are always screaming at me and I’ve never done anything to them. Well, ok, I called them ugly and obnoxiously loud but I hardly think that warrants the daily harrassments I’ve been receiving from them. Maybe this is a warning from the cicadas?
“You call us ugly? We will get you. We leave shedded hulk on door frame to taunt you, menacingly. You are scared are you not?”
Should I be concerned?
And finally, (Jeezus lady, where’s the politics on this damn blog?), I will share with you how the Houston Chronicle chose to display their newstand papers today. This is what anyone in Houston could see, above the fold: (first headline paraphrased from memory--may not be exact quote.)
“Iraq Faces Bloodiest Day Since Hand Over” complete with photo of a bloody Iraqi.
Right below that but still above the fold?
A huge photo of John Edwards and this headline:
“Edwards Preaches Hope”
Now. Is there seriously anyone out there who still actually believes that the media is not liberally biased?
As far as DNC coverage...bleh. I don’t have a t.v. as it is and frankly, there are two reasons I’m not doing it:
1) There are plenty of other bloggers doing this.
2) I can’t stomach listening to a bunch of lies and watch b.s. flow out of someone’s mouth knowing that someone thinks the people of this country are stupid and can be led blindly with a bunch of feel good words.
Why on earth would I subject myself to this torture? To hear what the other side has to say? I’ve been hearing it for the past decade. Their message has not changed and it won’t be changing anytime soon. I’d rather watch back to back episodes of Barney the Purple Dinosaur than the DNC.
Aaaanyway. I think it’s beer time. Look for an ecstatic post tomorrow about this time as I will have returned from my absolute last day at that horrendously craptastic job.
[update] Oh yah! I’m such an ass! I totally want to thank everyone who came here, read the posts about Dewey the dog and went over and signed the petition. You guys so totally fucking rule! THANK YOU!
