Monday, September 21, 2009
Open Letter To The Felions
Dear Cats:
My laptop is not a butt warmer. Stop sitting on it. Especially when I’m in the middle of using it.
All those cords attached to my laptop? Those are not snakes that “need killin’”, those allow me to connect to the internet and keep my power going. When you bite and attack them, you cause problems for me.
And finally, for the last time, get your got damned face and paws out of my food! No, your wide eyed begging followed by pathetic mewlings is not cute and you will not woo me in to sharing. This is MY food. You don’t see me planting my face in your food bowl do you? Nok it off! And take your fur with you when you leave. That trick of planting fur in my meal doesn’t work, I’m still eating it.
If you do not adhere to my repeated wishes, you will suffer the consequences. That little spray of water you get now from the harmless squirt bottle? Kiss it good bye and say hello to the new super soaker water cannon. This is your final warning.
Thank you,
Management
