Sunday, April 19, 2009
Pure Talent
I really wish I could remember my dreams last night because when I woke up today, my right knee was killing me. It has been hurting very badly all day long to the point that I can’t really bend it or straighten it without pain. Walking? HA!
This better clear up before Tuesday when I have to go back to work and climb up and down the steps to the airboat.
Is this what it is to get old? One day you’re fine, the next morning you feel like someone slammed you in the kneecap with a sledgehammer?
What the hell did I do to myself while sleeping?
In other news, I found a website that calls to me: Clean Freak Confessions
Hopefully I can find easier ways to clean up since, as I stated over there, I clean three times a day. Yep. I do. I clean when I get up in the morning, I clean when I get home from work and I clean again right before I go to bed. Having pets is what really makes me have to clean so much. Somedays I wonder if they are worth it. Seriously, cats, stop puking!
I actually HATE cleaning. I really despise it. But, I love the way things are when done so I keep doing it. If the place isn’t clean and organized, I, literally, cannot think clearly. Everything, (even the light switches), has to be clean and put in its place. I feel so much more relaxed and comfortable when all is said and done, despite all the bitching I do while I’m cleaning. Really, you should hear me. A lot of cussing takes place.
The worst thing to clean? Fricken litter boxes. It’s because of these litter boxes that I have to clean so much. I can’t just scoop it out and be done with it. NO! That would be too easy. I have to scoop it out, add more and then I have to sweep or vacuum or electric sweep the litter around the box as well as the rest of the floors since the cats like to trail that shit all over the house. Then I have to mop the damn floor. Then I have to wipe down surfaces because the cats jump on the counters or tabletops while they have pieces of litter stuck to their paws. And I have to do this shit three times a day.
Sometimes? I don’t even want to go home knowing that the first thing I have to do after feeding the monsters is to clean up the mess they made while I was gone. And then I have to do a small clean up after they eat. And then I have to clean up again before bed because you can NOT have a clean litter box in this house! Those cats did not have to go to the bathroom 5 minutes ago before I cleaned everything but suddenly they must use the litter box THIS instant! NOW! mere seconds after it has been cleaned. And oh! Is that another clean litter box over there? Must soil immediately!
This is how it goes when I get home:
Cats: Meow! Meow! Meow! We’re starving! Where the hell have you been all day!? Meow! We’re not gonna make it! We’re gonna pass out! Oh the pain, the pain of hunger! Help us!
Me: YES I see you. Can I have one damn minute to myself first?
Cats: NO!
Me: Sigh. Fine, assholes.
I give them their food and then I can get out of my work clothes, use the bathroom, and open the computer. Before I get online, I have to scoop the litter boxes. And then, of course, all the cleaning that follows that. By the time I’m done, the cats have finished eating.
Me: Aaah! It looks good in here again. The cute little cats are fed, the work day is done, the house is clean...now we can all enjoy a comfortable evening together.
Cats: scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape.....(censored)....scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape.....track, track, track, track...oh! LOOK! Another clean litter box! scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape...TIP...litter box tips over and all the contents spread out on the floor.
Me: God DAMNIT! I just fucking cleaned! FUCK!
I begin cleaning again.
Cats: HEY guys! I have a great idea! Let’s run through that pile of sand over there! Whee!!!!!
Cats proceed to run through the spilled cat litter, repeatedly, while I’m trying to sweep it up. It’s the greatest thing they’ve ever experienced.
Now I have to fucking vacuum and mop AGAIN!
I was going to try that whole, “teach the cats to use the toilet” deal but it doesn’t work with so many cats. I will not have this many cats forever. I will only have two, maybe three. I have been trying to rescue cats that people dump off out here and some of them have had kittens, (oh this is getting out of hand now), and the Humane Society doesn’t seem to really want to help me out here. I called them up and told them the story. They said they would contact me soon. We have to schedule an appointment, they check the cats out and then I’m supposed to bring them home with me for another 14 days. Look, I get why they do that with everyone else. They want people to take that two weeks to see if they really want to get rid of Fluffy. I don’t need that two damn weeks. I’m trying to save cats and I would like some FUCKING HELP here. These are not permanent residents here in my home. Also, I really don’t want to take them to the Animal Control shelter because cats do not get that 5 days like dogs do. Cats can either be killed that same day or put up for adoption and even if they are put up for adoption, there is no guarantee that they won’t get killed eventually. Humane Society doesn’t kill. That’s why I called them. I didn’t go through all of this just to have the cats be killed. And it’s not their faults that asshole humans dumped them off out here.
So far, I have not been contacted by the HSUS. And that pisses me off. I have to keep calling until this gets taken care of. And this really needs to be taken care of.
So that’s why, currently, I have all these fricken cats. I may keep one along with the two I already had but the rest? Need homes. And I’ve been trying for a long time to get them homes, on my own, before contacting the HSUS. Who, again, don’t really seem all too interested in helping me help the animals. Which really puts a bad taste in my mouth about this organization. Don’t say that you are for the animals and then treat me as if I’m just trying to dump these cats off on you because I’m an irresponsible pet owner. Pricks.
So, anyway, it’s not that I’m obsessed with cleaning. As stated, I hate it with a passion. But it’s out of necessity that I clean. If I didn’t have all these rescued cats? I would only have to clean about once a week because unlike some creatures that live here, AHEM, cats, I am not a fricken PIG!
Anyone want to adopt a cat or two? Seriously.
