Tuesday, May 29, 2007
String Yanking
I knew it.
I had this dream the other night that I was fired from my job because my boss was pissed off at me for not wearing my hair the way she wanted me to wear it. I stood up and told her that I would not wear it how she wanted me to and she fired me.
I figured this was a manifestation of what receiving “assistance” from people makes me feel like. You see, more often than not, there is a damn string attached. More often than not, you will pay for “gracious gestures” from other people. Just been my experience. It doesn’t always happen and when someone does something for no other reason than they just wanted to because they like me, I’m floored but extremely appreciative and it makes me feel good.
So...this morning I come in and sure enough, guess who comes waltzing up to me to tell me that I need to wear my hair the way she wants me to wear it. Ok, I know she paid for it, (her choice), and I am glad it was done, (I certainly thanked her and showed appreciation), BUT, that does NOT mean I owe her a damn thing. And I don’t need someone dictating to me how I use a gift. You don’t give something and then tell someone how you want them to use it or display it. That is entirely up to the recipient.
She walked off in a huff stating, “This is ridiculous”. Yes, it is. But not for the reasons she thinks it ridiculous.
This is why I say I’d rather stab myself in the chest with a dagger than accept help or gifts or whatever from people. There’s normally a string attached and the giver yanks on it as hard as they can.
I just really hope that this potential deal I have works out because if it does, I escape ALL that bullshit! I hope it goes through and I hope it’s soon!
