We see it everyday. We talk about it, laugh about it, smack our foreheads over it but for some damn reason, I can still be astounded by absolute idiocy.
A family comes in to the restaurant for dinner. They begin to order and everything is going along smoothly. That is until the one member places their order.
Idiot: “I want the chicken platter.”
Me: “Ok, what would you like to drink with that?”
Idiot has discussion with another family member and totally ignores question. I wait. And wait.
Idiot: “No, actually, I want the fish instead.”
Me: “Ok, you want the fish and not the chicken right?”
Idiot: “Yes.”
Me: “Ok, so no on the chicken platter and get the fish.”
Idiot: “Right.”
Me: “Ok.” (Begins repeating entire order back to table.)
Idiot: “No, I want the chicken.”
Me: (For fuck’s sake.) “Ok, do you want the chicken or the fish?”
Idiot: “I want the chicken, I just don’t want two of them.”
Me: (AAAAAAAAARGH!) “Let’s try this one more time. You”, (points to other members of family at appropriate times), “want the special, you want the children’s platter and you want the chicken platter. Correct?”
Idiot: “No, I want the chicken.”
Me: (What the FUCK did I just say?) “Right.” (Repeats order back to them.)
Idiot: “What about the fish?”
Me: (Oh. My. Fucking. G-d!) “What about the fish?”
Idiot: “I want the fish.”
Me: (Begins to wonder if insanity will actually rear its ugly head right here in the middle of the restaurant....stares at Idiot because is at a loss for words....that can actually be said at work and maintain employment.)
Idiot: “I want the chicken platter and she wants the fish”, pointing to another member of the family who had earlier stated she wasn’t going to eat anything at all.
And then they had the GALL to look at me like I’m the stupid one. I need a job where I work at home and enter data all day because I can’t take the lunacy anymore.
<--- Here Endeth The Lesson
