Saturday, January 17, 2009
Torn, Torn, Torn
This weekend, while the St. Hope and Change idiot cheerleaders are gearing up for their “Tingle Down Their Leg” party, I have an important, big decision to make.
There is a gun and knife show this weekend just up the street from me and I have hooked up with one of the concessionaires to get me a Smith and Wesson. I forgot the name but it’s basically identical to the Walther P99. (I think it’s the SW99 and yes, I know there are differences but it’s close and about $200-300 cheaper.) Which I LOVE. Now, because St. Hope and Change has been dubbed the gun salesman of the year, I’m not going to be getting much of a deal on it. Meaning, I can probably find the same price at a store after the show.
But, I have only this weekend to do this before the messiah gets sworn in and starts throwing everyone under the bus, left and right. I have the cash ready and I have the ability to get this same day so it’s mighty tempting to do.
On the other hand, I’m thinking, the economy is “in the shitter”, (according to the media), and since most people believe everything they see on the news, stocks have plummeted making it a real good time to start investing for the long term. (And by “long term” kids, I mean, 10 to 20 years. “Long term” does NOT mean 9 months like some douchebag who wanted to argue with me, thought.) If I start buying up stock with that gun money, and sit on it for years to come, I may actually have a good retirement plan instead of the one I have now. Which is I have no plan. I don’t have shit. No assets, really.
So, I’m torn.
On the one hand I think, “Get the gun while you can, St. Hope and Change will do more damage to the economy and stocks may go lower meaning you’ll be able to buy more shares in the future for even less money.”
On the other hand I think, “St. Hope and Change may fuck the economy so badly that we could have a repeat of the 20s and that’s a little scary. What good is a gun if I can’t afford the ammo to go with it?”
By the time most of you read this, I’ll have had to make my decision already because the time will have passed. What the hell people, what is with you having a life on the weekends and not sitting at your keyboards, waiting with anticipation for my next post?
Some will probably have said, “Just go to the show anyway. You don’t have to buy, just go.”
Kids. Do you even KNOW me? Have you been paying attention at all over the years? Surely you know that is not something I can do. I can’t go to a gun show and just browse. Are you kidding me? BROWSE? Leave there with NOTHING? Are you smoking crack? I know, damn good and well that if I go, I WILL leave with something.
Damnit, damnit, damnit. What to do. Invest for my future or invest for my future protection while I still can? I mean, $500 can go a long way in investing these days. Or do I throw it all on one gun? (I’m picky, there’s not talking me out of it, there is no reasoning with me when it comes to the gun I want. No, I will not get two or three for $500, I want the one I want and I will not be swayed. I’m a snob that way.)
Plus, I’m afraid that if I do get the gun, on Tuesday, when I forget and accidentally turn on my t.v. and see the hysterical circle jerk, I will shoot the damn thing. Then I’ll have to get a new t.v. Meaning another $200 that could have gone in to buying shares now gone.
I want the gun and I also want to invest while everyone else is panicking and acting like they’ve lost everything. Morons. If you are retiring right now, yes, I understand and know you’re screwed. If you are a 20 something twitcicle who buys and sells every other day, you’re a fucking idiot.
Gah. What is the right choice? I am trying to think rationally and not emotionally. Emotionally, go get the gun. STAT! Rationally, considering most of my neighbors are armed and I can get my hands on something if necessary, I’m thinking, invest for your future while the getting is good.
See, this year is not like last year at work. This is supposed to be our busy season. We are supposed to be so busy that we have no time to use the bathroom and we barely get off our boats before we are loading up again. They’re slinging bottled water at us along with the tourists and off we go, again and again and again.
Except this year, everyone is freaking out listening to the media telling them that everything is about to crash and we will all be homeless and starving soon, so they aren’t coming out as much. What will happen after St. Hope and Change is in office? Will things get worse right off the bat? Will we see even less people out here? I need those people, as much as they irritate the shit out of me with their idiocy because I need their money. I work for tips. Give me your fucking money! Will they still come out and tip or will they barricade themselves in their homes, eyes wide with fear, holding on to every last cent they have?
It’s a gamble. Do I invest this money for the future or do I put it all down on a gun? How hard will it be to make that money up again with all the hysterics?
If I could sleep these days, I’d sleep on it. In six hours, the gun show opens. And I just can’t decide what is the right choice.
