Some of my long time readers may remember the agreement I submitted to all the paooki in the world. (Or at least the ones in my general vicinity at any given moment.) For new readers or those who forgot, it went something like this:
“Attn: All Paooki
Subject: Living Arrangement Agreement/Treaty
Begin Date: Effective Immediately
End Date: End Of All Time
From this day forth, I agree not to extinguish the lives of all paooki who agree to the following demand:
You stay the hell outside!
If this demand is met, paooki may continue on living their lives, undisturbed by me.
Exceptions
If I am outside camping, swimming, driving, walking, biking, roller blading, or for any reason whatsoever and any paook makes its presence known to me by way of stringing webbing across my path or sprinting in front of me, crawling near me, sitting near me, landing on me, leaping on me, said paook will perish immediately in a most gruesome and horrific manner. Members of paook family will not be able to identify the remains.
It is hereby decreed that any paooki who enter my dwelling or mode of transportation, most especially if I am driving said transportation, will die first, questions to be asked later.
No exceptions will be considered from the paooki side.”
And we pretty much lived in some sort of harmony after that. If I went to the backyard to let the cat walk around and there were paooki about, I refused to look in their direction; pretending they did not exist.
But. As with humans, there inevitably are rebels in the paook community. Infidels if you will.
Fear not reader for I have discovered a valuable weapon in the war on terrorist paooki. The QuickFit M1A1 Crutch has proven itself to be a most remarkable killing machine. Soldiers are able to destroy enemy paooki who cross into the no crawl zone up to three whole feet away. This is a victory for the side of truth and justice and the....well, the Serenity way of life.
Casualty count this week: 2 dead paooki.
DIE 8 legged bitches! DIE!
Mu ha ha.
<--- Here Endeth The Lesson
