Sunday, August 17, 2008
Fay Smiles
So by now everyone knows that the little singing Chinese girl at the opening ceremony was a hack. Sure, she was cute but the other girl was cute, too. God we’re so image obsessed in this world.
One of the smallest jabs we make at people but one of the things that irritates me to no end is when people say stupid ass shit like, “You should smile more”, “Smile!” “Keep that smile on your face.” “You have such a beautiful smile, you should show it more.” “Your smile is so infectious!”
Oh shut up.
Do shut the hell up.
Ever see the movie, “Office Space?” “Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.” Yah, that’s how stupid it sounds when you boneheads keep talking about smiling.
Most of the people who say that are people at work or people who come in to where I work. (Like when I was a bartender. There I was, washing the filth of the masses out of glasses so those assholes could drink more and some fuckwhip wants to come up and tell me, “Smile!” Do you fuckers smile when you’re doing the dishes? No? Piss off then.) First of all, I’ll smile when I bloody well have a reason to smile. Just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m the exact opposite; that I’m miserable. And second, have some of you seen the sour pusses you’re toting around most of the day?
I hear this shit at work sometimes, “You need to smile more.”
Ok, first, look at yourself. Because I do when you asses tell me to smile. I look around and I don’t see shit eating grins plastered on my co-workers faces. What’s the deal with always telling me to fucking smile? Leave me alone. Second, have you pole smokers bothered to notice that we live in the tropics and that in the summer time the blistering sun is about two feet from the surface of the earth and it’s blinding with or without sunglasses? I’m not squinting because I’m upset, I’m squinting because my retinas are about to combust.
Again, just because someone isn’t smiling doesn’t mean shit. When I think something is funny or amusing or smile worthy, I’ll fucking smile. Until then, concentrate on that mug of your own. In fact, why don’t you just concentrate on your own life altogether and stop getting all up in my business. I’m not a fucking phony, ok? I don’t go around wearing fake ass expressions on my face just to please your insecure self. Get some counseling and get over yourselves.
Now, then.
I may or may not be smiling in the next two days. I love wicked weather and part of me is looking forward to TS Fay while the other part is thinking, “Hmmm...considering where I live now, this may not be as fun as previous storms. In fact, this could suck.”
The other day, I finally got the back yard cleaned up so that I could put up a decent size tent to sit in during the evenings. This way, I could unwind after work, have an adult beverage or two, maybe invite a neighbor, shoot the shit and not lose 3 pints of blood in an hour to the mosquitos. It’s my version of a screened in porch since I don’t have one and it can be really peaceful at the end of a long day. Of course. Of course I put it up not three days ago and now I have to pull it back down because of TS Fay. Naturally.
So...the next few days ought to be interesting. I have a lot of trees around me. Right outside my bedroom. Maybe one will crush me when I sleep. Well, who cares, as long as they find me with a fucking smile on my face.
Ciao kids.
