Saturday, June 28, 2008
Feeling It
At long last, I got rewarded for someone’s stupidity and pissiness. (New word.) Yesterday I was loading up a boat to take out on tour and, as always, I tell people that if they step on the seat to get on to the boat, it will be much easier on them and perhaps save them from bruises or, I don’t know, falling in to the boat like the graceful swans they are.
Now, while I’m taking tickets and loading and spouting off safety rules, I am sizing up the group. If the people are paying attention, nodding in understanding and having a good time, I know it will be a good tour. If they spill on to the boat, slap their ear plugs in right after I get through telling them they don’t need them and ask me stupid questions before we even get started, I know it’s probably going to be a shitty tour.
So, as stated, I’m loading the boat and every damn person I’m telling them, “Step on to the seat to get in to the boat. It’s much safer and easier on you that way.” And damn if every last one of them failed to listen and banged their legs up, flopped in to the boat, were all kinds of confused. About halfway through loading up, I muttered, “Oook, it’s going to be on of those tours.” (Keep in mind, after a year of this, and especially after spending most of it in 5000 degree heat, one gets to know these things and patience is looking over its shoulder as it sneaks out the window.)
One particular man from New York got a little snippy with my comment and stated that he was quite adept at walking, thank you very much, and did not need me to inform him how to get in and out of a boat. He glared at me while I ensured I had everyone and gathered up tickets. As I reached the two rows holding him and 7 of his friends and family, I witnessed a moment that made my heart sing with joy.
Apparently they had only purchased 7 tickets instead of 8 and this particular man did not have a ticket. He needed to run back to the counter to get one. Mr. Adept At Walking Thank You Very Much failed to step on to the seat to exit the boat, tripped, took a few running steps to correct himself on the dock before stomping back to the store to get his missing ticket. I guess he’s quite adept at counting as well.
He came back, we went on the ride and I made a point of singling him out, in a friendly way, of course, throughout the entire tour. The guy had at first decided to have a miserable time but by the end of the ride, I did catch him smiling a couple of times. And he felt like such a tool shed for the earlier comment that he handed me a $20 tip.
Guess he is quite adept at eating some crow, too.
Anyway, haven’t been posting too much because the heat is wearing me out. I’ve been crawling in to bed less than an hour after getting off work and sleeping off the pain, the PAIN, my GOD the pain. Some time last week I managed to get dehydrated, crawled home, slept for 13 hours and since then have been feeling really wiped out.
So far tonight I’ve already slept 8 hours. I woke up at 2:30 to read some blogs, maybe write something and then I’m going back to bed. I think it’s a mix of working in the heat, dealing with idiots all day and just basically returning to my own sane little world after dealing with some major league cock smokers in the past two years.
Let me rest, kids, maybe I’ll be funny again one day. (Assuming I ever was. I don’t think I’m all that funny but people tell me that I am so I guess I am. Or everyone is a big, fat liar. Time will tell.)
