Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Hey Suess America
Dudes. I almost had the worst night of my life.
There I was, out in my backyard, enjoying the peace and tranquility, working on my work at home IT job...let the cat in the backyard to sniff around and chase lizards. It got really dark but still I worked because this is my main job...even though the other one takes more of my time, this job, the work at home job is where I try to focus most of my energy. Because I am that dedicated. And I really like it. And I don’t want to lose it.
I remember looking up to see where she was one last time and she was sitting in the grass, enjoying herself. So I resumed working.
Then I started IMing the boss about a certain task.....got so totally focused on it that I forgot to watch the cat. (This is a problem with me...I get SO focused on what I’m doing that I hear nothing, see nothing, respond to nothing...it has upset co-workers and bosses in the past because they took it personally and thought I was ignoring them or didn’t like them...seriously, I can get THAT focused and be completely unaware of my surroundings....Hell, I’ve done that on DATES! I get so focused on the person I’m with that time flies and I am unaware of what is going on around me.....it’s not always a good thing.)
I looked up after a bit and realized..........um...where’s my cat?
I freaked. I totally freaked. I would be a mess...lost without this cat. I would die.
I searched and searched, couldn’t even think straight to remember where my flashlight is, (on a shelf just inside the house), went to the landlord’s house, asked the son for a flashlight, (didn’t have one), asked to go through their back yard, (the son said yes), searched and searched.
Then I saw a tail going under the house.
UNDER the house, kids.
Where 8 legged freaks live. That will touch me. And bite me and make my life a living horrific hell.
But I was so intent on getting her that I said, “Fuck those assholes with 8 legs..I’ll KILL them and still get my cat..you fucking bastards...touch me, BREATH in my general direction and you DIE! I’m not fucking around here!”
And I crawled under the house.
And I eventually got my kitty back.
She is now safe, inside, meowing at me...the INDIGNITY she is suffering, she states.
TOUGH.
SHIT.
CAT!
That was the worst half an hour of my life. I have her back. She is inside. She is safe.
And all is right with the world again.
And I need a major hard drink.
OY!
[update] As if to illustrate my point, there I was, writing this entry, (still outside), and had just clicked “publish” and was going to my site to check for spelling and grammatical errors....again, SO. FOCUSED! My landlord managed to open the gate to my yard, walk up to my deck and was one step behind me when she said, “hey how are you?” I Screamed!
I’m not a screamer. I do not scream hardly ever. But I was THAT focused on the entry talking about how focused I get that it scared the living shit out of me and I screamed, yelled, “Jesus...FUCK!” and then finally caught myself.
Too funny.
Of course, she then proceeded to tell me how last night, she went to her work, (not far from here--10 minute walk), and confronted a robber. She had gone in to the business, saw rooms ransacked, called her oldest son down, he came with a baseball bat, (boy needs a gun I tell you), and they looked outside as they were trying to lock a door, saw the robber just on the other side of the door, enticing them, asking them to come get him with motions of his hands! “Come get me” he beckoned.
FINALLY the police arrived but the robber had gone. She said that the police think they know who it is from the video survelliance...and they say they are sure it’s the same guy who is wanted for muder.
DUDES! Tha hell!?!!?
She is going to appear on the 11 o’clock news AND she is giving me a photo of the guy and I tell you, if I see him? Oh...he’s going to be very sorry.
But for now, I’m locking my door..something I don’t normally do...and I’m closing the gate all the way..something else I don’t normally do. But now I’m going to do it until Mr. Murdering/Robber asshole is caught.
And that? Just didn’t help my already high tense, strung night.
Dudes....she is lucky. Thank GOD nothing happened to her or her son.
Yep....with the money I’m making...screw buying myself a laptop first....the FIRST thing I’m buying is my Walther P99. That mother fucker....does he realize my rights in the state of FL? God bless Jeb Bush. I can shoot that cock sucker if I feel my life is in danger and I don’t have to go to jail for it.
Trust me....I will. If I feel my life is in danger? If some little bitch wants to try to break in to MY house? He’s going to LOSE his life. I’m not shooting for the legs...if you’ve been around long enough, you know my shot groupings. That little bitch is going down.
And I will NOT feel bad about it. Baseball bats my aching ass. You threaten me..you threaten my life? You lose yours.
Oh yes, I know some out there will want to debate that...no! I learned, a LONG time ago, when I was in the military, that I CAN shoot someone. I had been in the military for about a year and a half. I didn’t realize how well trained I had become until we were sitting in the dayroom one day. I had always wondered if I COULD kill someone who tried to kill me. Would I be able to do it? I didn’t know. Until that day...we were watching “Hamburger Hill”. In one particular scene, our side kept getting shot and killed, over and over and over. And I got pissed. I wanted to jump in to that movie and kill the Viet Cong to make them stop killing our guys.
And that’s when I realized, you bet your ass I could kill someone if they were trying to kill me or someone I know at that moment. NO problems. There is no debate about it. The libs can cry and piss their pants all they want....they will never change my mind on that.
My life or some scum sucking pig’s life? Friends, it ain’t gonna be mine. Capice?
