Sunday, December 23, 2007
How We Always Forget
My Christmas message this year is going to be a little different..and a little earlier. I just told this story/lesson in there somewhere recently so it’s in the front of my mind.
When I was younger, we would go on a lot of family vacations and often that meant a visit to some theme park with all kinds of rides, exhibits and roller coasters. I am a big fan of roller coasters and have loved them for as long as I can remember. The problem was, no one in my family wanted to go on a roller coaster. And I would have always been outvoted and not been able to enjoy them if it wasn’t for one person and his completely unselfish act.
My dad would be the only one, time and time again, who would volunteer to ride with me. Everyone else would make me feel like shit for wanting to go but my dad would say, “Ok, Serenity, let’s go.” He would stand in the long lines for an hour or so with me and listen to me while I chirped about how fun it was going to be. We would get on the ride and I would be excited...entire body tingling with anticipation. Up the track we would go, my dad putting a smile on his face so that when I would look over at him, giddy, I would see that smile.
As we plunged and twisted and turned and looped, he would fling his hands in the air and laugh out loud at my screams for him to put his arms down, he was going to fall out, oh why did you let me go on this, I’m so stupid, why are we here, make it stop. When we came to a stop, he still had that smile on his face as I recovered and chattered on about how great that was. I would then grab his hand and we would walk out of the ride to meet the rest of the family who would be sitting on benches waiting for us, sullen and ready to go. At that moment in time, he was the world’s greatest Dad and I gave him love for that feeling.
Often times, people miss the message in that story. It’s a simple story, it’s a little thing but that is the point, exactly. But to make it as crystal clear as I can, I’ll put it this way:
My dad did not like roller coasters and he did not want to go on them either. However, my dad knew that I wanted to go and that this little act would make me very happy. He didn’t make me feel bad for wanting to go, he plastered a smile on his face and acted like he enjoyed himself for my benefit, not his. He knew that this little act, this little moment was very important to me and he allowed me to enjoy it to the fullest extent because he cared about me and what I wanted...a little thing that I wanted.
Anymore it seems that if someone does anything for you that they don’t want to do, it’s begrudgingly, they take the thrill out of it by letting you know that they really don’t want to do this and then throw it in your face expecting some sort of trophy for sacrificing themselves for your tiny moment of happiness.
This Christmas, I hope people realize it’s not the gifts that someone gives you or that you give others, it’s about the time you give them. It’s about doing things that will make them happy no matter how trivial or ridiculous you think they are; you know it’s important to them and you give them that without making them feel bad for it.
It’s the little things, people. And it’s time. Never do we look back and say, “Wow, I sure wish I would have bought so and so this and that over the years.” We say, “Damnit, I wish I would have spent more time with so and so...I wish I would have done this with them when they asked...it wasn’t that big of a sacrifice but I wouldn’t do it.” We always regret that stuff later.
Why can’t we do that stuff now, while we are all here? We take for granted far too much until it’s too late.
As I like to say: Find a reason you CAN do it instead of all the reasons you can’t.
Those little, tiny acts, those little, tiny moments of time can mean the world to someone and the rewards are great when you give them that. It shows them how special you think they are. And people need to feel special.
Material things do not make someone feel special....your time and your giving of yourself is what makes a person feel special.
And that is my gift to you. Happy Christmas, kids.
