Friday, June 11, 2004
I Could Use The Cash
I’ve decided to talk about something I’ve never talked about before on this blog. Hideous celebrities.
Exhibit A:
I absolutely do not understand the appeal to look like a bag of slop when the bank account is filthy fat. I said this before when I lived in Seattle and the “grunge” look was all the rage and celebrities would spend exorbitant amounts of money to look like they bumrushed the nearest homeless guy and stole his clothes.
Here’s a newsflash for the rich and famous: There is nothing cool about the way you are dressed. I also find it highly offensive that you would attempt to even “dress like the average Joe”. There is absolutely nothing glorious about having clothes that are filthy, torn, shredded from too many washings, faded, stained, buttons missing, etc. and not having the money to purchase nice, clean fitting clothes. Nothing.
As I have not been extraordinarly wealthy in my life, I have an entire wardrobe of apparel that will surely get your squeals releasing at how “cool and authentically worn in and used they appear!”
So let’s make a deal: You want to look like trash, I want to wear nice clothes without tears or missing cuffs. I will fling open the doors to my closet and you can grab whatever your dirtbaggy self finds “righteous”. In return, you will pay me HALF of what you would have spent at those upscale stores to get this look of years and years of wear and tear. You may continue to look like crap and I will finally have a decent wardrobe. Everyone is happy.
Hours of operation: Monday-Sunday: 10am-8pm
All sales final
Cash only
Today’s Special: I recently ripped a 2 inch hole in the side of my pajama pants right at the hip. There is only one of these so make your offer quickly before it gets snatched up!
