Friday, December 23, 2005
I Wasn't Going To Go Here
OY VEY! I thought the bickering and whining over hanging chads and dead people voting was the most annoying argument I might ever come across but I was sorely mistaken. Let me start off by asking a serious question:
Have you all gone fucking nuts?
What in THE hell is wrong with people in this country? I absolutely cannot believe we are bickering like school children over a stupid fucking holiday greeting. I seriously cannot believe it. You can’t win no matter what you say because in this spoiled, soft society of incessent whiners, you WILL offend someone.
If I dare say, “Merry Christmas” I will bring about an uprising of stupendous proportions by those who believe that I’m not an equal opportunity holiday/religion well wisher. If I do not say “Merry Christmas” I get told that I’m oppressing and stomping all over those who practice that religion.
Dudes..will you all please shut the ever loving hell up. I’m fucking serious.
Look, in the corporate world, or any job where you have to be near your annoying ass co-workers for any stretch of time, you will have conflict. That conflict arises, more often than not, when one person says something and the recipient takes it a certain way that they find offensive. Now, granted, there are some real bitchy, sneaky people out there who feign innocence when crawled up on the carpet about it and meetings ensue and they switch to the “I’m very mature” mode in front of their boss and try to shift the responsibility to the other party. The other party is told to grow a thick skin, to stop being so oversensitive, to give the benefit of the doubt; that maybe that person didn’t actually mean it that way....you know, TO GET THE FUCK ALONG WITH EACH OTHER!
So I am dying to know why the hell we, as adults, cannnot get the fuck over ourselves and stop taking every damn word that is uttered by another human being as insulting. This bullshit is just the beginnings of the thought police. Did any of you fuckers see “1984”? It’s just a matter of time before no one is allowed to say, “Merry Christmas” because it’s so collossaly offensive nor will anyone be able to say “Seasons Greetings” “Happy Holidays” or “Happy New Year” because by God someone is going to get their panties in a twist and go screaming to change the law.
Think it won’t happen? What have we all learned from this site over the last couple of years? NOTHING? Have I not reported on the imbeciles who want to ban certain words from school children’s books because they don’t want them reading about junk food or think that the word “snowman” is offensive to little girls or how no longer are we to say, “Founding Fathers” because apparently that alienates little girls as well. We now have to say “The Framers”...am I the only one who thinks that sounds like total shit? The Framers? That sounds like some asshole who committed a crime but blamed it on someone else. Teachers don’t want to correct papers with red markers any more lest some child lose all self esteem for the rest of their life till the day they die; oh if only we had used purple...they could have been somebody!
Are any of you paying attention lately? Slowly but surely all these things are being chipped away until they are removed.
Am I really deserving of a 5 minute lecture and hot headedness because I had the audacity to say, “Merry Christmas!” to someone? I’m not a Christian but HELLO!? December 25th IS Christmas Day whether you celebrate it or not! If I see a Jewish person I will wish them a happy hanaukah (sorry, I can never spell that word.) If I see someone who I know celebrates something else I will wish them whatever they celebrate OR, as has been the case in my past, I won’t wish them anything after I learn that they do not celebrate any holiday.
Why is that 15 years ago when I innocently wished my apartment manager a Merry Christmas that he was able to calmly and politely tell me that he doesn’t celebrate that holiday? He informed me that he was a Jehovas Witness and from then on, I only wished him a good day. Yet in this day and age I say Merry Christmas to someone and they get all self righteous and hoity while spitting out why I have just ruined their entire day with my selfish greeting. On the other hand, if I say “Happy Holidays” to an insecure Christian I am told that I’m bashing on Christianity.
So I have a plan. From now on, you all wear your religion and anything else about you on a sign around your neck, allow me the time to read it as I pass you on the street so that I know what the hell I can say to you and what I can’t say to you without you pissing and crying about it.
Do you all not have enough to do? Are you all so incredibly bored with your lives that the only way to entertain yourselves is to make a monumental production over the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard? Why don’t you go volunteer your time at a homeless shelter over the holidays/non holidays/this time of year/winter (Christ, did I cover it all or is someone out there still fucking offended?) Maybe then you will learn to appreciate what you have, who you are, what you’re doing and not spend so much time getting all uppity in each other’s faces over an innocent fucking greeting.
For fuck’s sake people wonder why I hardly fucking talk to anyone. NOW you know! As soon as people start talking, someone starts complaining and carrying on about how horribly offensive it all is.
Words people...they are words. Shall I remind you that YOU make the choice whether or not a word or group of words is going to upset you so terribly. You have the power to simply say, “I will not let that change my mood at all” and go about your business. You have the power to also say, “OH MY GOD! I cannot BELIEVE that asshole wished me a Merry Christmas! What a thoughtless douchebag! Oh! My entire month is shattered beyond repair!”
So many people love to say this unless it applies to them so I’m going to bring about the tough love here: GET OVER IT!
