Friday, June 17, 2011
I'll Become Vegetarian First
You ever tell someone to, “eat shit and die”? Looks like that might not be so far fetched if this scientist gets his way:
Japanese scientist Mitsuyuki Ikeda from the Okayama Laboratory certainly doesn’t believe in human waste. He thinks that’s perfectly good protein you’re sending out to sea, and he’s found a way to extract it, mix it with steak sauce and create a fecal feast fit for a king.
Woo-hoo! Let’s all have a picnic at the local sewage plant! I’ll bring the “potato salad”...muhahahaha!
Why would he even think of it, you might ask. Because Tokyo Sewage asked him to. Tokyo is swimming in sewage mud, it seems, and there’s only one way it can save itself and that’s eat it.
We’ll never go hungry again! Gasp! This could solve world hunger! Feed everyone a pile of shit! We are the wooorld, we are the children...we are the ones who eat a shit sandwich from our bbq grillin’....
Prof Ikeda found the mud was loaded with protein due to the high bacteria content. Combine it with reaction enhancer and put it in a magical machine called an “exploder” and artificial steak comes out the other end. According to Digital Trends, it’s 63 percent protein, 25 percent carbohydrates, 3 percent lipids and 9 percent minerals. It’s colored red so you don’t know it’s poo.
Yee-haw! Red poo! Bloody red poo! From an “exploder”! It comes out the other end....oh hell, there’s way too many puns here...So, how do you like your “steak”? Rare? Bloody? Just a hint of pink? You want corn with that? Oh Lawd, the jokes are endless.
"Initial tests have people saying it even tastes like beef,” Digital Trends reports. Prof Ikeda and his colleagues say it’s the perfect solution for reducing waste and emissions from flatulent cows.
It tastes....like.....CHICKEN! I mean, BEEF! Right now it’s expensive but give it time, soon you’ll be looking forward to 99cent Shit Stack Sundays!!! Huzzah!
We are the worllllld......
(Link thanks to Paula)
