Friday, October 20, 2006
Let's Take A Break
Ok, it’s been kinda heavy around here lately, so let’s lighten it up. Most of these I’ve heard before but the images I conjure up in my head still make me laugh.
Nineteen Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it, “In”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffiene addiction, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all of your checks, write, “For smuggling diamonds”.
(I actually used to do that when I was younger except I wrote, “For 8 ball of crack” or “Assistance with burial of body” just to see if anyone was paying attention.)
7. Finish all of your sentences with, “In accordance with the prophecy.”
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat. Make your request with a serious face.
(That one slayed me.)
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is, “To go!”
(I think it would be funnier if you told them, “And that’s for here.")
12. Sing along at the Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
(That one got me as well.)
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name: Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I Won! I Won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we’re going to have to let one of you go.”
(Hilarious.....messing with the kids, always fun.)
Enjoy.
