Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Public Service Announcement
It’s great to have visitors. It’s nice to know the neighbors want to come over and say hi or ask you to come over for dinner. It’s neat when a friend drops by because they want to see you.
However, I ask if those who wish to visit me for whatever reason might consider doing me one little, tiny favor. In most of the places I’ve lived I have not had a doorbell. This means that those neighbors or friends or visitors need to knock on my door.
People...please, please, for the love of God please will you not pound on my door as loudly as you possibly can because it startles the shit out of me. My heart has lept to my throat far, far too many times over the years and as I get older, I’m afraid one of those visitors is going to give me total heart failure. Please, tap quietly. I can hear you. You do not need to splinter the door to get my attention.
And also? If it takes me more than 10 seconds to get to the door, please wait patiently. Beating the door halfway down a second time is not going to get me there any faster. In fact, it’s going to get me there later as I pull a Sanford and Son and clutch at my chest wondering if this is the big one.
That is all.
