Monday, November 12, 2007
Random
I don’t make much sense. I woke up this morning, famished. I decided to create this culinary masterpiece for breakfast and it turned out pretty good but, and I do this all the time, by the time it was ready? I wasn’t hungry anymore. I had four bites just because it seemed the right thing to do but even though it tasted good...eh, I didn’t feel like eating after all. Does that happen to anyone else?
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Have I told you how much I love older people? When I worked in the cruise industry, I got along rather well with the older people. Some of them were cranky but overall, I liked them and they liked me. We are getting in to the season where the older people are starting to come out and yesterday I had a boat load of them. They had a blast. They cracked up at my stupid jokes, they joked back with me, they enjoyed themselves and their surroundings even when I spun them around a few times. They tipped pretty good, too but mostly what mattered to me is that they had so. much. fun. When I got back and was tying up the boat, they clapped. Clapped! They got off the boat, handing me tips and darn near every last one of them told me how great the tour was, how fun it was.
Those are the types of people who make my job fun. Some times we will get people who get on the boat and look like they’re doing community service for the scowls on their faces. You would pay that kind of money to sit there and be miserable? Really?!!? If they aren’t scowling, they are zombie and I gotta tell you, last week I thought I was going to need a break from this job...a vacation or something. I had boat after boat after boat of that deer in headlight look and sometimes, I think in my mind that I want to shake them and listen for a rattle in their head....I mean, is there a brain there?
Example, I was loading my boat last week and these three idiot girls were standing right. there. I’m loading tourist after tourist and these three scholars actually asked me, “Where do we go for the boat ride?”
Well, let’s see here. I’m wearing a shirt that says, “Tour Guide”. I’m standing right next to an air boat, taking tickets and loading tourists...on the dock....you have tickets to go on the boat ride....sigh...hmmm. You know, I think you’re supposed to wait in the back parking lot by the dumpster. I’m sure that’s where you get on the tour.
Finally, they pull their heads out of their asses and conclude that the boat I was standing next to is the precise place they are supposed to be. They climb in to the boat and we set out on tour. And guess what? Every last thing I pointed out, every word I said I got.....deer in headlights look. Oh, I’m sorry, is my vocabulary far too advanced for them? “Over on your right you’ll see an alligator.” Yah, reading that in print I can see why when I said that they looked to their left and/or straight ahead.
Actually, that happens a lot. “Over on your right you’ll see an alligator” and only half the boat is looking to the right. So I will repeat it. Some look to their left and some just sit there, staring, frontal lobotomy like...so I say, “To the right, folks, to the right.” I wait. No change. “Does everyone here speak English?”
“Yes” they all state.
“Ok...just wondering because I’ve been pointing out this alligator on the right hand side of the boat and only half of you are looking at it.”
And then some will wake up and look to their right, “OH! Look! An alligator!” and then look at me and point as if I hadn’t seen it.
“Good eye”, I’ll say while the half of the boat who was listening in the first place cracks up.
I don’t get that kind of idiocy with older people. Also, older people tend not to get so damn offended at a joke or the word, “Indian”. I don’t know if the older people in the next generation will be as great. I think these are older people from generations of people who had morals, worked hard, had respect, went through hard times; they’ve come from a time when people were proud to be from this country and proud to act decently. Like I said, you’ll come across a number of them who have that entitlement complex like far too many young people have but as a whole, older people just get it. IT. They get it.
And that’s why I like them and that’s why I flirt with them and that’s why they applaud me when I tie up my boat at the end of their tour. I can’t wait for more.
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Stray cat, Rani, is adjusting well. She and SerenPen still have some issues to work out but I’ve caught them, several times now, getting along. She doesn’t bum rush the door anymore to escape whenever I go near it and she allows me to pet her more and more and for longer periods of time. I’m still working on teaching her that she is no longer a ghetto cat and has no need to go dumpster diving. She is well fed, stay out of the trash can!
I really like her. She’s very, very cute.
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Another week has gone by and I’m liking this guy more and more each day. I spill turtle water all over him and he goes out and buys me towels, cat food and roses. I accidentally crack his bathroom sink and he buys me dinner and tells me how great he thinks I am. I adore this guy.
And so does my cat, Serenity. Now, she will go up to almost anyone because she is not afraid. Normally, though, she’ll either just be in the same room or she’ll walk back and forth between their legs as they’re sitting down or, sometimes, she’ll jump up on the couch they are sitting on and sit next to them. This guy, Serenity crawled RIGHT up on his lap, almost the second he walked in the door and stayed there. She is all over this guy and licks him, gives him kisses, playful bites when she’s rolling around on his lap. She really likes him. Although he loves dogs more, he likes my cats and he tells me, when I say, “Aren’t you going to pet her? She wants you to pet her” when she’s on his lap, that they are forming their own bond in their own way. And Serenity digs it. He’s even fed them twice and I gotta tell you....as sickening as this may be to hear, it is so cute to watch him interact with them while he’s feeding them. To spare some dignity, he doesn’t talk to them all cutesy, he says, “Alright cats, I’m gonna feed you now so you’ll leave us alone. Oh calm down! Stop it you little fucks, your food is coming. Here. This is for you. Oh now you’re going to whine at me too? I’m getting it (dumb) cat.” You know, in a guy way. It cracks me up. And, ya know, I find it endearing.
Ok, enough sappy stuff. For now.
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The Price Is Right just isn’t the same without Bob Barker.
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That’s about it for right now. I’m going back to bed because it’s my day off and I can.
