Once again, kids, just because it’s sunny out doesn’t mean that you can’t get struck by that lightning storm just 10 miles away.  Lightning can strike up to 20 miles away and it has happened, it just happened yesterday and it will happen again. 

Where I work, we do not drive the air boats when there is a lightning storm because, obviously, it’s far too dangerous.  The only problem is that the boss waits until the lightning storm is right on top of us before he holds off the tours.  Great that he doesn’t make us go out in it, bad that he waits so long because we are sitting ducks out there, in the Glades; we are the highest object more often than not, sitting in a giant metal boat in a body of water. 

Now, I have been trying to teach my co-workers a little bit about lightning but they all think that because I’m “from the city”, I don’t know what I’m talking about.  They all think that the flash to bang equation is 1 second for every mile.  I have been telling them, repeatedly, that it’s every 5 seconds equals 1 mile.  They are convinced I’m wrong.  I should have bet them large amounts of money.  That’s how sure I am about it and that’s how sure they are that I’m wrong.  (It really does amaze me just how many people think I’m stupid...and man does it STING them when I’m not wrong.)

So, I went on to NOAA’s website, found the exact page that discusses the flash to bang, wrote it down for them so they can look it up them damn selves.  (Naturally, I was right.  Can we all just fucking get this already?) I am looking very forward to presenting that piece of paper to them.  I know they’ll try to find some excuses or hmm and haww but eventually, they will look it up, they will see I am right and they will respect my authoritiii!

Anyway, the point of this entry was to demonstrate that you can get struck by lightning.  People never think it’s going to happen to them.  It CAN happen.  Take it seriously.  If you don’t get killed by it, you’ll suffer for the rest of your life.  Put that damn umbrella away in a thunder/lightning storm.  Getting your hair wet is a small price to pay for NOT carrying around a fucking lightning rod with you.

Crowds won’t protect you.  One person can get struck and the lightning can bounce off of other people up to 50 feet away.  Get OFF the land line.  Stay away from the windows.  Stop washing your dishes or taking a bath during a storm.  That surge protector?  That isn’t going to protect a thing if there is a direct hit.  Turn OFF the appliances.  Oh, and those tires on your car?  That isn’t what protects you from the storm.  It’s the fully enclosed metal roof top of your car that protects you.  The lightning can hit it and it will run down the car and out the tires and the rain.  That’s a myth that the tires protect you just the same as the myth that you’ll be fine if you wear rubber soled shoes.  MYTH, people.  MYTH!

Basically, nowhere is truly safe in a lightning storm but if you use your brain, learn about lightning and take small steps to protect yourself, you can probably get by not getting struck in your life.  Or, you can play the odds.

The odds of you getting struck by lightning are 1 in 3000.  Considering how many people there are in this country, I’m not particularly liking those odds.  And I certainly do not need to tempt fate when all I had to do was get my ass inside, shut a few things off, stay away from the windows and wait it out.

Oh, and if you’re on the golf course, (where most strikes happen), put that damn club down and get your ass back to the club house or in to a shelter.  Your fricken score isn’t worth your life.  It’s a game.  Lightning strikes are not.