Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Stupid But Lucky
So Rachel Lucas had an open comments thread today with the topic, “What Makes You Want To Punch The World In The Face?”
Well, I think 90% of my posts answer that question. I think I’ll sum it all up one day but right now I’m too tired to think about how much I hate people and will move on to how I did two stupid things in two days, instead.
Let’s start with Monday. I woke up, apparently slept wrong again and had the dizzy shit going on all day AGAIN. It was my day off so I didn’t lose any pay and didn’t have to tell the boss. This is good because I don’t want the boss to start thinking I have issues and cannot work. But it was also bad because I had a lot of crap to do. Pissed off, I decided that dizzy or no, I was going to at least accomplish one major task today. That task involved driving. I chose this one task because I knew I wouldn’t have to turn my head at all during this drive. I got to the place I needed to get to find out that the part wasn’t ready yet so it was a big, fat waste of time anyway. I had done alright on the drive over but when I got out of the car to walk to the door of the business, I had to walk really slow because I was so damn dizzy. I got back in to the car and drove home but every single bump in the road that I hit, (and the roads in Miami suck major by the way, can’t these people do anything right?), would fuck up my vision for a good second or two and I was really glad when I finally made it home. And, as stated, it was all for nothing. And, no, I won’t be doing anything that fucking stupid again. I have to accept that sometimes, I cannot do things on my own or I will have to wait because I can’t do them at that particular time. Tough shit. I have to get over it. I get it now. And I recommend everyone heed that warning for their own lives because what I did yesterday morning was a stupid, STUPID fucking thing to do.
Boo hoo, sometimes I can’t be independent. Trust me, I’ve scolded myself enough for that stunt.
(And, no, it’s not low blood sugar or anything like that...it is, indeed, left overs from that accident. At this time, I don’t have a doctor I trust in this town but as soon as I do find one, I’m going.)
Now let’s move on to Sunday and the stupid thing I did that day. It was my drive day at work. For anyone who is new or hasn’t been paying attention, I drive air boats in the Everglades. There are alligators in the Everglades. For the most part, alligators will leave you alone. They will not leave you alone, however, if you are in their territory. And, for the most part, I have remembered this. There have been times when I’ve had the last boat of the day and sometimes the alligators come up on land in to the park and walk around that late in the day and at night time. It has scared the crap out of the guests I bring back on the air boat to offload them. And I’ve been good with watching where I step for the most part.
But Sunday I did not. I got complacent with the dock. I started my morning by pulling my boat around to the loading area of the dock, jumped off the boat, tied up the back end and went to tie up the front end. Complacent and as stupid as can be. Sure, I’ve seen alligators around the dock area but they’ve never been too much of a problem.
So, there I was, at the front end of the boat, reaching down to grab the rope to tie up the front end. Out of the corner of my eye I caught movement, split second later heard and saw a large splash and the body of an alligator in the water not inches from my right foot on the dock. Alligators can leap 2/3 the length of their bodies and this alligator decided I was in its territory and it needed to get rid of me. Fucking alligator jumped out at me from underneath the dock at 8:20 am on Sunday.
I typically do not scream. I typically say things like, “Jesus! FUCK!” and leap away. I did just that after the gator jumped up at me. My co-workers heard this, came over quickly, saw me freaked the hell out, listened to me stammer and point about “alligator...dock, leaping....” and led me to a rock to sit down because the adrenaline was pumping HARD through my veins. They went over to the dock and saw the gator. Yep, still there. Waiting. The only thing that saved me was that particular docking location because there is a turn at the post where I tie up the front end of the boat. Like a backwards “L”. Otherwise? Well, let’s just say that I won’t be so stupidly complacent anymore.
I got my camera, came back, stepped in to the boat and took a photo of the gator who tried to ruin my morning on Sunday.
This is exactly where he had been right before he jumped out at me. He went back under the dock to wait for me to be a dipshit moron again which is why you get this photo. Imagine that guy with its 80 needle sharp teeth and 1500 pounds of mouth pressure leaping at you bright and early in the morning. Yah, it woke me up.
