Monday, August 30, 2010
The Rest Of The Story
Ok, kids, I know this is three weeks later but I did promise to tell you how that ridiculous dinner party went and now that I have the dogs somewhat obedient, I can take the time to do that now.
The day of the event, I did not know it was supposed to be later in the evening, I thought it was supposed to be right after work so I went and got German girl, she came over to my house to get ready. In the meantime, (since I had about two hours), I had a beer or two. I thought the beer would keep me relaxed but the more we talked about the upcoming event, the more I realized that the beer was probably going to work against me and make me say or do something that I really wanted to do but really shouldn’t do. Besides, I was driving so I gave the rest my beer to German girl to finish.
Finally we get going. The trip was uneventful and I did know where I was going, for the most part, so it was pretty easy to find. We got there and the other three put out girls were already there. (Bride, HB and Marie.) And shockingly!!! they were already fucked up. The hell you say! I never saw that coming!
We were in the parking lot, the other three by Bride’s truck so they didn’t see me at first. They saw German girl and complimented her and talked to her...I waited, in the shadows, to see if anything would be said. Plus, I wanted to make damn good and sure that I had a clear sight of HB’s face when I stepped out of those shadows since she assumed I was going to look like shit. (You’ll have to excuse me but a trailer trash bitch thinking she has more class than I do really rubs me the wrong way.)
And I got a good look. She was astonished. “OH My God! You look good!”
I know.
Hag.
BUT, for Bride, I merely said, “Thanks.”
Bride then saw me and said pretty much the same thing and I’m sorry, ok, so I’m not the highest class person full of grace and poise so I just could not help myself. I said, so that HB could hear, “So, you’re saying I don’t look like a trash bag?!”
Ok, ok, stop! I told myself. Behave, we just got here.
We all walked in and went over to the bar because the lady boss wasn’t there yet. The bar tender was slow...painfully slow. Listen, in this town, you are not hired as a waiter, bartender or hostess because of your skill, you are hired because of the way you look and the service suffers greatly for it. Apparently this town insists on keeping up an image of what people think the beach should be like and sure, the people are pleasant to look at, some are fun to look at but damn, man, you are going to pay for that with slow ass shitty service. I’d rather have a mediocre looking person serve me fast and right.
First of all, it took her about 10 minutes to even come clean up the bar so we could sit down. Then she ordered two girls drinks and before the rest of us could say anything, she walked to a back room to make them.
Woah. What?! Excuse me?! You’re mixing the drinks WHERE?!
No. As a bartender, you mix those drinks RIGHT IN FRONT of the person you are serving or right there at the bar for the waiter/waitress to pick up. You do NOT go in to a back room to mix them, that is bullshit.
They ordered something simple, I don’t remember but it was a matter of a shot of alcohol, some club soda, (maybe?) and a shot of grenadine, it looked like. I’m assuming, it’s what it looked like not sure what they ordered as I didn’t hear. Regardless, each drink should take no more than about 20-30 seconds to make.
It took her 5 minutes a drink.
I do not exaggerate.
She came back with those drinks and ordered the next girl’s drink. Off she went again to the back room. Are we kidding here? You can’t remember 5 fucking orders? You can do them one or two at a time only? This is the type of bartender that I would NOT tip. I don’t make a habit of not tipping people but this was absurd.
She finally came back with third girl’s drink and got 4th girl’s order. I’m the last in the line but nope, I had to wait another 5 minutes for her to make that drink. Jeezus. Finally she came back and got my order and made the drink. By this time, the first two girls were done with their drink and were ordering another round.
Finally boss lady comes in and she orders a drink, we take photos, (I hate getting my picture taken), and eventually work our way to a table for dinner.
The ordering process took quite some time because the others couldn’t decide what they wanted, should they share this bucket of seafood, should they do something else....whatever, I get it. It wasn’t hard for me to decide because I had basically two choices-chicken, steak.
I decided on steak.
Nope, they don’t have that tonight.
Sigh, fine, give me the damn chicken.
While the decision process was still going, I and German girl went outside to smoke. I asked her how I was doing. She said I was doing good. HB hadn’t really given me much to say-just being her usual gossipy, bitch self but whatevs, man...she was at least being decent towards me so let it go.
Eventually everyone decides what they want to order, the good looking but DUMB waiter comes over and that whole nightmare begins. It was chaos. No one knew who had yet ordered because he didn’t do it around the table like a normal waiter would do. Since we are all girls, you start at the head of the table and work your way around the table. Nope. He just asked randomly while last minute decision conversations were going on so eventually no one knew if they had ordered, if their order had been taken, what did they order...omg.
He finally gets to Bride, she’s the last to order. After telling me that they don’t have steak tonight, he proceeds to tell her that what she’s ordering is not what she wants. LOL! Ok, I think it’s time for another smoke because I can’t watch this.
I came back in about 5 minutes later, they are still at it. She doesn’t want that because it’s for two people and when she says, “then can’t you just give me one of this and one of this?” he says he can’t, she would have to order this other item on the menu which turns out to be EXACTLY what she was asking for but she was fucked up on drugs and alcohol, he was stupid and so what should have been simple was not.
Then he had to go check on lobster size for an order made earlier by Marie. Apparently he did not know what size lobster they had before he came over to the table. I’m sorry...again, this is where we pay for the good looks but the idiotic mind. If you know you are going over to take an order for dinner and you are at a seafood restaurant, wouldn’t you...I don’t know...STOP BY THE FUCKING LOBSTER TANK to see what the hell is left in there before going to take orders because maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone will be ordering one of those lobsters? Am I the ONLY PERSON who thinks this way? Surely I cannot be the only one. Surely.
It took him 10 minutes to do this.
I do not exaggerate.
Conversations about work were flying around the table and I pretty much didn’t say anything because um, hello, the boss lady is sitting RIGHT there at the table! Hellooooooo!? Not only am I remaining sober because I have to drive, I’m remaining sober because I’m not going to get drunk and say something stupid in front of the second boss. Nothing positive ever comes from doing something like that.
HB was being her usual self, (oh and I forgot to tell you, she was sitting right next to me...gah), talking shit about everyone but I just kept sipping my drink and listening, saying nothing. Dig that hole, hag, keep digging that hole. Boss lady isn’t drinking either, did you notice?
During the course of the conversation I come to find out that all three of them had already been dipping in to their drugs before they came, were half drunk before they got in to Bride’s truck, were talking at excessively high levels on their way to the restaurant and completely missed their turn and got lost as a result.
No shit. (Let’s think back..."Please do not get out of control in my car.” OMG! She’s such a bitch! We know how to act in public! We know how to behave ourselves!) Right, I must have pulled all of that out of left field.
Eventually our food came, we ate, some had more and more and more alcoholic beverages and were getting so out of control that they were doing that drunk cackling, whoo-hooing, asking our waiter, Destiny, (yes, for the first time ever, I am using a “real” name on Serenity’s Journal because he told us that was his name but I’m betting it was his “stage” name and not a real name), when he was getting off of work, made numerous cracks about having Destiny’s child....basically being downright embarrassing. See, this wasn’t done at normal conversation levels...this was done at “I’m drunk off of my ass and can’t hear my own self” conversation levels. You know, so that everybody else in the restaurant could hear us. I looked around once in awhile and we were getting a lot of “those” looks from a lot of patrons. I was so thrilled to be there.
What made it worse is that it dragged on forever because they kept ordering drinks and Destiny took about 20 minutes to do anything. Frankly I think he was hiding in the back telling his fellow co-workers that he didn’t want to come back out and continue serving us.
Eventually we all left. You know the rest of my story...the dogs?
I did find out later that the other three others were again, out of control in Bride’s truck....Marie apparently fell out of the truck when they dropped her off and Bride and HB instead of helping her to her door said, “Let’s get out of here” and peeled out because they were embarrassed. THEY were embarrassed by Marie’s behavior. Bride then dropped HB off and there was a bit of commotion there as well but since it was HB and HB is the one who starts all kinds of shit and rumors and the like, there wasn’t much to that story.
Overall, HB and I did not have it out. She left me alone. She was too busy talking shit about everyone else who wasn’t there trying to impress boss lady. The three amigos got shit faced drunk after doing whatever drugs they had been doing and were loud, obnoxious and basically harassing the waiter. So, it turned out almost exactly like I thought it would.
And they all want to do it again.
Hell. To the NO!
