Thursday, November 13, 2003
Tutorial
It has come to my attention that not everyone knows how to back out of a website they have stumbled across and wish to leave.
I am horrified, horrified, that I assumed this was common knowledge for those who surf the net. However, because it is not, as a concerned citizen, I will provide you with basic, step by step instructions so that you may exit the offending website immediately and not subject yourself to anymore angst, anger, apprehension, tears, bitterness, misery, offense, wretchedness, soiling of your diapers, late nights, lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling composing a comment you wish to leave to really show them! or whatever else your problem may be.
Step 1: Place hand over mouse.
Step 2: While steering your cursor with your mouse, proceed to your tool bar at the top of your browser. (For those who are just starting out, that would be the top of your screen, not top of your monitor, that’s where all your stuffed animals or pics of your spawn or whatever crap you decide to place there, goes...no, I said, “top of the screen”....just like a t.v.)
Step 3: Here’s where it gets tricky but if you persevere, you can make it through this final step.
You may either:
a) Go to the top left side of your screen.
OR
b) Go to the top right side of your screen.
Either choice works perfectly well, neither one is harder than the other so this is entirely up to you...as scary as it may be to make a choice for yourself, I have faith in you...you can do it.
If you chose a), then you would look for the word, “Back” and place your cursor, (that little arrow thingie that helps you navigate), over this word and click on the left button on your mouse.
If you chose b), then you would look for a small red square with an ‘x’ through it. (If it happens to be a different color, don’t worry, as long as the little square has an ‘x’ in it, this is the correct area of the screen.) Once again, place your cursor over this square and click on the left button of your mouse.
And that’s it! I know these instructions may appear overwhelming but I promise you, they are very simple and once you have done it, you will have mastered this process.
Are there any questions? Are we all on the same page now? Do you all understand that if you do not like what I write here, you may leave following the above instructions?
Might I also add, I appreciate my readers. I appreciate debate. What I don’t appreciate is someone telling me I need to write or be a certain way.
Did I find myself trying to entertain everyone here? Yes. You bet I did. I also discovered it wasn’t fun to come on here and put something out everyday. I only worried about what you all might find interesting instead of just writing whatever the hell I wanted to write, which was the original reason I got this damn thing. I spent a good amount of time asking myself why the hell I thought I needed to do such a thing because it doesn’t matter WHAT you write about, SOMEONE is going to get huffy. You can write about the ingredients from the back of a cereal box and someone WILL piss and whine in the comments section.
I spoke...well, emailed, a friend of mine who’s opinion I value very highly and asked for his advice and he said, “Be true to yourself”, in a nutshell. So, I am doing just that. If I was paid to do this, I might go out of my way to ensure that my writing is up to everyone’s double standards but I am not. This is my own personal space on the web, paid for from my very own pocket and I will do as I please with it. If people come by because they like it...that’s pretty cool.
But I no longer care about links or high traffic or appeasing the masses. So, for those of you who keep coming here and working yourself up into a frenzy because, “Damnit! That little girl isn’t behaving like a girl! How DARE she! She cusses? She has an opinion? She fights back? That’s intolerable!” (guess what? Sometimes I burp too!), let me spare you some future trauma:
That is a part of who I am and I am LONG past apologizing for who I am because someone got their panties in a bundle and thought I should be less this or more that. I simply do not give a damn if you like me or not. That doesn’t make me anti-social, it means I am not going to change just because someone decides I don’t fit his/her idea of who they think I should be. Might I also add that you don’t know me. You see words on a screen but you do not know me so don’t assume that just because I come here to rant and get that out of my system means anything other than what it is. Since a few seem to lack reading comprehension skills, THAT means, it is ONLY ranting and getting it out of my system.
In conclusion, if you don’t like the way I write, then click yourself right out of here. (For those with selective or short memories, see above for instructions.)
If you want to make a judgement about me because of some ranting you see here, knock yourself out. You are not worthy of my time.
If you think I give a shit about your opinions when you tell me I should change, think twice.
If you insist on talking smack about me, at least have the cajones to say it right here, on this site, preferably within the comments section of the post that pissed you off so badly. Talking shit, “behind my back”, is a cowardly thing to do. If you can’t bring yourself to say it in comments, feel free to email me but don’t act like a fucking wuss and hide out on your site.
For the rest of you, thank you for stopping by.
