Saturday, October 29, 2011
Weather Outside Is Delightful
On Friday I went up to a town about an hour away to do a job. When we were done, we were walking out of the building and the supervisor stated that it was going to snow up to 6 inches that night or the next night. I asked, “WHAT?” because, it’s October. Since when does it snow in October? Figured he was wrong. As we made our way to the parking lot, we saw 4-5 teensy, tiny snow flakes slowly wafting to the ground.
Today after work I found out the landlord finally turned on the heat, (thank GOD, I was freezing), and talked to my neighbors. They said that a good way to keep the heat in and the cold out was to use plastic on the windows. My first thought was, “how trailer trash” but they explained it was put on the inside and you use a hair dryer to shrink wrap it to the frame.
Hmm. Ok. Where can I get this?
Wally World.
First of all, I hardly ever go to Wally World because my experiences in Wally World, (ghetto places like Miami), were horrifying the two times I’ve ever been there. I was not looking forward to this.
Second of all, dudes, it’s Wally World. Sigh.
I began to notice the onslaught of panic from the weather reports when I got near the exit to Wally World from the freeway. The traffic was getting thick.
Get off the freeway, get on to the surface streets towards Wally World and noticed tons of traffic everywhere. Ok, where I live? Not a lot of people so not usually a lot of traffic. At first I thought they were all going to this building that’s a Halloween store or a haunted house type thing because there were tons of cars in the parking lot and many people turning in.
And then I got to Wally World.
Holy shit.
Finding parking was pure luck and timing.
I decided to go ahead and, for the first time EVER in my entire life, use the grocery section to pick up some stuff. Grabbed a cart, walked in the door, found myself in grocery and was immediately overwhelmed.
It’s enormous. It’s gluttonous. It’s shocking.
Apparently everyone else in the entire state had the same thought because they all descended on this Wally World and in this grocery department. I cannot believe how many fricken people were in this place. Several times I stopped and stared and said only, “Oh my God!”
I went around in circles because I didn’t know where a damn thing was located and felt like a salmon swimming upstream. The people. My God the amount of people! Some shelves were cleaned out and I saw people CLIMBING shelves to get to the last of something. They were animals! It was like being in a zoo. I had to stop again several times, close my eyes, shake my head, open my eyes again, no, they are still there, “Oh. My. God!!”
Finally found the plastic shrink wrap stuff for the windows and wearily worked my way towards the registers. Please, just get me out of here!
Got my stuff to my car, got out of the parking lot with relative ease, (because they were in one of two places, one of them being inside that dang store in the grocery department), and made my way back on to the street.
And this is where everything just went out of control.
Two lanes of traffic in each direction. I’m in the left lane of my two lanes because that’s the lane I need to get back on the freeway in a few stoplights. I get through the first light ok but by the time I got to the second light…
Holy.
Shit.
Really!? REALLY? I didn’t even know this entire STATE had this many people! The right hand lane was at a complete stand still while those of us in the left hand lane went passing on by. I thought again maybe they were all going to that Halloween place/store/event/whatever but nope. We passed that and the right lane was still crammed with no movement.
Let a couple people in when we came to a stop because I felt bad for them trying to get out on to the streets with so much traffic and the first one, ok, the second one, man, what a mistake THAT was. This guy did not know where the hell he was going. He would start to change lanes and then decide against that and change back right in front of me.
We then got to the light right before the freeway light. Ok, traffic had been going ok in the left lane up to this point. Just a matter of a light or two and I was home free.
Idiot. I’m such an idiot.
Waited, waited, waited. The light finally turned green...ok, here we go.
Except we didn’t go. Not a fucking car in the left lane went through that light. I was 4 cars back from the light and we didn’t move a fucking inch. Reason? Because all the ASSHOLES who had turned in to the street from the damn mall blocked the fucking intersection so that NO ONE could move at all. Morons. Total flippin’ morons.
Waited, waited, waited.
Light turned green again.
One car.
Argh! Went through the waiting again, light turned green.
You assholes better MOVE! I’ve already spent a HALF AN HOUR trying to go 1/4 mile.
Waited at the freeway entrance light. Waited. Waited. Waited. Course now there’s a ton of cars in the two turn lanes on to the freeway. And they all have to merge around the bend in the road before they merge on to the freeway. Whomever designed this entrance should be shot.
So as you may guess, it’s a cluster fuck. Brakes being slammed left and right because no one wanted to let anyone get in front of them and others were driving the speed of snails pissing everyone off. We worked it out with merging with each other, NOW we have to merge on to the freeway.
Let me tell you something. I have a magnet for many things. One of those is shitty drivers. In this entire state, (and ask the locals, they’ll tell you what I observe is true), every one else knows how to merge on to the damn freeway. In my city? They are total twits!
Most of the time instead of using the RUNWAY LENGTH onramp to build up freeway speed and get on the freeway AT freeway speed, they come to a complete and total stop RIGHT AT THE END of the onramp. OR! They get on the freeway at 20mph and wonder why traffic is “crazy”. Because you can’t get on the fucking freeway at 20mph you simple minded buffoons! And, the people already on the freeway do NOT like to get the FUCK OVER in to the left lane to allow those who are merging to fucking merge. Jeezus I’ve never seen such stupidity when it comes to merging.
Finally get on the freeway, get past most of these tool sheds but there’s still a lot of cars out.
One thing I will say about this state is that people DO stay to the right except to pass. They really do. It’s amazing. They all, (99%), co-operate. I love it.
But they did not do that, today. NO!
There was a giant line of assholes all sitting in the left lane...la de da.
I was in the left lane patiently waiting so I could pass thinking, stupidly, that these people were doing what they always do which is pass the cars and get the fuck over. After awhile I realized, these pricks aren’t passing anyone! I looked over in to the right lane and noticed, there’s like ONE car, way up there, in the right lane and no one is passing shit.
So I got in the right lane and sped right on past all these assholes. I got up to the car in the right lane, noticed there was P! LENTY! of room for me to go around him in the left lane without cutting off the douchebag who was leading the slow ass line in the left lane and did just that. And you know what? The freeway opened right up after that. Not a fricken clump of traffic anywhere. Sure, a car or two here and there but nothing like what was now behind me.
I looked in my rear view mirror, oh NOW that asshole and all those behind him want to move over to the right lane. You pricks.
Got home, got my stuff put away and am now waiting for the snow! I don’t know if it will actually snow but it’s supposed to. We are supposed to get up 5 inches here. Heavy snow is forecast for 6am. Well, I’m off tomorrow...but I may just set my alarm if I don’t stay up all night. I’m excited! SNOW! I haven’t seen snow in forever.
And might I ask, why is it that when I move somewhere, within six months of me being there, the weather does stuff it doesn’t do or hasn’t done in “years!!”???
I moved to Miami and we have Katrina, Rita and Wilma in my first six months there.
I move to New England and there’s fricken Irene. A hurricane. In New England. Really?! (By the time it got here it was laughable.)
And now? Snow in October. And not just a light dusting, actual crazy ass snow storm.
WHAT is that all about?!
If it does snow, I’m taking photos and especially of the dogs in their first snow. I hope it does! I don’t have to go anywhere until Tuesday morning anyway, let it snow!
